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Seattle_gldr_rdr

The testicles actually have a lot of room to move within the scrotum, and they don't hang at the same height either. They are able to adjust into one-above-the-other or one-in-front-of-the-other arrangements that save space. And now a word from our sponsor, IKEA.


DiscoJanetsMarble

Try their meatballs!


LoanedPurr

For one, the dick isn't directly between your legs. It's slightly to the front. It might seem like a minimal difference, but it's what keeps it from getting crushed. Sit down with your legs closed, then take an object and put right between your legs. You won't be sitting on it either. Weirdest sentence I ever told a strange woman, but here we are. Second, when the penis is flaccid, not only does it take less space, it also "molds" comfortably. It really doesn't dangle all that much, specially if you're a "grower", not a "shower". ​ >What about when wearing underwear and pants? They squeeze the penis and balls, wouldn't that be painful? Female underwear and pants are ***significantly*** tighter than ours. You need to remember that our pants are made with a penis in mind, so there's extra room around the crotch area. Even male skinny jeans aren't as bad as female jeans. As for the underwear, even form fitting boxer briefs wrap the body snuggly - it doesn't *compress* too much, since it's fairly elastic. Lots of women out there enjoy wearing male underwear for this reason. ​ >What about crossing legs while seated? That would squeeze the penis and balls more than pants and underwear do, right? How is that not painful? It's more the balls, than the penis, because again, the penis isn't directly between our legs. Even then, not every guy has this issue, only some. Hence why some guys "manspread". EDIT: Rip my inbox. To address some points made in the replies below: * Yes, testicles sit at different heights. Good point. * If your underwear still feels too tight, consider checking the size first, then read what fabrics it's made from. There are elastic materials added to certain fabrics, to make them wrap around your body more comfortably. Far from me to judge how you choose to envelop your magnum dong, but perhaps there's a heavenly underwear out there for you, just waiting to be discovered. * I didn't know about "manspreading" also happening because of hip proportions. Considering I'm a guy with fairly wide hips who can comfortably cross my legs to sit, I guess that makes sense. I just thought you guys had large balls.


Nickthedick3

It’s worth noting that some of us do occasionally, accidentally sit on our balls and it hurts like hell.


DrEmilioLazardo

Or when the seam of your pants decides it's time for some CBT...


Smeefperson

CBT? You mean, Christian Bible Time right?


star_witness1

It definitely makes me say "Jesus Christ" when it happens


lxscairns

No, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Your pants are tired of putting up with all your shit.


evoblade

Well yes, but in a very Old Testament way


-justabagel-

Software professional here, pretty sure they mean Closed Beta Testing...


Speffeddude

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?


DrEmilioLazardo

Cock and Ball Torture. Basically the same thing.


ZoltanBattery

It's getting to be that time of year too. Hot weather = droopy balls = bigger risk that they get in the way!


Gaddafo

Yep. My girlfriend wasn’t in the happiest mood. So I jumped in my seat as a joke and crushed my balls. It wasn’t on purpose and it hurt like hell, but it made her laugh.


concerned_concerned

i’m not ur gf but i also laughed at this


AnalogMan

Sometime when jogging they can swing down and get caught between the thighs of your underwear isn't supportive enough. Known as "sack-crack-alitus".


Ulanyouknow

>Female underwear and pants are significantly tighter than ours. I swear some pants people wear today look like they were vacuum sealed. Like, the only way to remove them is with scissors.


SuperVancouverBC

That's what it feels like wearing women's clothing. Also no pockets :(


GoneWithTheZen

And the dreaded fake pockets. Why?


myfriend92

Because pockets apparently aren’t fashionable 🤷🏻‍♂️, as in having actual pockets. Still gotta look like you do.


WanderlustInPangaea

Plus, retail outlets can make more money selling purses and handbags because... you know... no pockets 🙃


TheWinRock

It's obviously the first thing I check on any first date. 1) Does it look like she has pockets? Yes. Ok, good. 2) Does she actually have pockets? Yes. Disgusting. Date over.


JustMeStoppingBy

I've been told it's because pockets add bulk, so hinder efforts to look slim.


chickentittyramen

I usually pull my ballsack up when i cross my legs sitting down. So the ballsack stretching doesn't hurt because its just a bit of skin, and then the balls rest on the legs instead of between them. The penis rests on the balls. Its snug but quite comfortable.


DogssLover420

When you say you pull up your ballsack, what do you mean by that? Like are you grabbing them with your hands and physically readjusting them? Also a woman and just curious


Swarlsonegger

Yup. You don't really cup your entire balls but you just have to pull a bit of the skin directly under the shaft and it'll rise enough so you can put your legs under that. It's basically a magician move to do it without anyone noticing but I do that too.


HellfireOrpheusTod

The manly way is the gentle cup move, court your balls


Swarlsonegger

You can't really cup your balls when you are wearing pants tho. It's a sleight of hand type of move for me


HellfireOrpheusTod

Idk I usually wear somewhat loose fitting clothes but even if my belt says no I use all my might to break the barrier to escort my countless children up to a safe haven.


nomadic_stone

...why else do you think they make mens jeans with actual pockets?? Been "cupping and tugging" in position through the pocket damn near 40 years


nustedbut

everyone knows, we all just try to avoid eye contact and pretend it didn't happen


OceanManified

Not him, but I tested it out to be sure and yeah it worked. Never really thought about the movement before, but it is literally just lifting them out of the area where the legs would squeeze them. At least, it was for me. His response is still pending


ladylilliani

Thank you for sharing such a thoughtful reply! This isn't something my husband would ever think of verbalizing. We have a son, so this is useful information just in case he ever encounters uncomfortable underwear or whatnot. Also, I think I'm going to buy some boxer briefs to try. Other than granny panties, I find most underwear make me have to pick wedgies all day.


Correct-Baseball9464

Thank you! Does this mean when a man's partner, or significant other sits in between his legs, it doesn't hurt any more than sitting on legs themselves does? I've seen two men (who are romantic partners) sitting in between each other's legs before, or even one with his bottoms clearly on top of the other's area (where penis is located), and I always wondered if it hurts 🙈


Big_PapaPrometheus42

If it hurts, we would politely reposition you or ourselves to get comfy. We've been dealing with our genitals our whole life, so it's pretty much second nature to avoid pain.


brettdelport

This. I’d say we have an ever present sense of where our penis and balls are, and about which action will crush them. There may even be an evolution thing at play. Those who didn’t have this skill became sterile and thus could not breed. (This is more of a joke than truth).


Dead_as_Duck

That's why my dick and balls never get stolen.


kai7yak

>I’d say we have an ever present sense of where our penis and balls are Ok. Another woman with another question. I don't ever think about my vulva (except for the very rare times an underwear band catches the side weird or something). Do you ... how the fuck do I word this. Do you feel your penis and balls moving when you move? Do you have to kind of consciously adjust for them when you sit/stand/walk? Or do you not ever really think about them except for that weird moment when something gets caught? I hope that made any sort of sense.


PlanetLandon

I think there may be a misunderstanding about how gentle men have to be with our goods. We don’t even really notice or think about them unless we are doing something that involves the use of the penis, or we just got a football to the groin. For most of the day it might as well be an ear or an elbow.


Kingfisher_ybw

The "ear"analogy is really good. Or even the eye. You don't stab your eyes when putting on sunglasses, you just know where they are. But boy does it hurt when it goes wrong.


Mongoose39A27

Yeah something like this. It's not unlike an arm or finger as far as feeling it and knowing it's there, but no muscles to move it so you squirm/move your body or legs, or physically move them when needed. But as as far as not needing to be that gentle, we also have a learned sense of just what and where will hurt, so can very easily avoid that in ourselves. Whereas a woman handling them may do really well or not that great depending, most tend to be too gentle though.


matt2316

So, I wanna add my thoughts on this one. > Do you feel your penis and balls moving when you move? Sometimes... not all the time, but sometimes. It's kind of like your shirt against your body: it's there and and it is always touching it, but generally your brain is conditioned to ignore it, because it's a continual sensation. That said, yeah, there are definitely times that I'll notice it... for instance, maybe a year ago I switched to wearing boxer briefs at work instead of boxers. For one, because I'm on my feet and active all day, and that gave me a little more support and reduced the risk of chafing (something I would *definitely* notice!). But it was also because there were times when my penis would manage to work it's way and fall out of the front flap, and I'd suddenly realize I could feel it rubbing against the rougher material of my pants, and then have to find a way to surreptitiously maneuver it back in. We'll also very much notice if things get stuck to the side of our thigh, lol. And I'd say that I do often enough have to make some kind of adjustment when sitting down or standing up, but thats something that's more natural and less conscious. Usually you'll just do that by shifting your legs a bit and letting everything settle into a better spot.


justsomeplainmeadows

More of a joke but not wrong lol we are keenly aware of our dicks because that's the thing that will carry on our genes, which is one of the most basic instincts in animals. So yeah.... the more careful you are about not crushing your balls, the more likely you are to reproduce. Science!


[deleted]

[удалено]


justsomeplainmeadows

I think I remember seeing a study showing that a strong impact to the balls is literally the strongest pain a man can feel. I'm glad I haven't felt any impact to them yet (*frantically knocks on nearest wooden object)


patgeo

As a cricket player, I've taken a few shots to the box and one without the box. My migraines come close, if not worse at times and appendicitis at the peak of the pain level. Those three things are the only pain I've experienced where I physically couldn't do anything except be in pain in a ball on the ground. For comparison, I've had a self tapping screw drilled into my wrist and wound it out by hand, broken a few bones, been bashed around by various large animals, few head blows etc. And my back just constantly hurts due to scoliosis and other problems since I was like 10...


oggyb

I feel like the only appropriate response to your comment is *"this guy pains."*


patgeo

Every day, all day.


Applepieoverdose

*strapping boots on* I’m gonna need an address


justsomeplainmeadows

Oh.... oh no


JapiePapie

Or oh yes, depending on what you like


Lolbotkiller

Trust me its not fun. A friend was staying over with me for a night, parents called me, i wanted to jump off the couch, suddenly a leg is in my balls. Might not have been a direct hit, but lets just say i was struggling to breathe and get up...


bobnla14

Told the story and another thread but it bears repeating here Girlfriends three-year-old boy wanted to go with me to the store. But he had a habit of not wearing pants when in the apartment. I told him that we could not go out until he put his pants on. She helped him and when she pulled his jeans today he got very upset and smacked her. I can tell by the look on his face that she had racked him. I told her what she had done and she said that he won’t remember as he’s too young. I told her that I have been racked five times in my entire life and I could give her the situation and every single one of them as I remember everyone of them perfectly. Yes it is that big of a deal


Soho_Jin

"He won't remember, he's too young," is an utterly horrific sentiment to have. Holy shit. If the pain is happening _now_ why the fuck would it matter if one day he forgets? We all forget everything when we die. Many people get dementia when they get old. Since one day everyone will forget, that makes everything fine? I guess the White Bear episode of Black Mirror is morally justified? Sorry to rant about this to you, haha. For some reason that line made me feel an immense surge of anger.


calle30

Had gallstones. That felt worse.


NicksAunt

Idk what other people call it, but my friends and I call the instinct to hold your balls and/or penis while laying down or sleeping, “home base”. I know I’ve passed out with my genitals in my hand many times, but this is usually under bed covers and thus, goes unseen. When I was I kid it wasn’t uncommon to see my dad passed out on the couch in front of the TV, with his hand down his shorts, snoozing away after a weekend working in the yard. I’ve seen many of my friends do this as well, and one of our buddies called it going to home base. Idk how common this is, but it’s hilarious to me.


JoeCyber

Lol ever present sense


GarranDrake

I’d say that it depends on where the weight of the person is. If we’re being straddled, then some of that person’s weight is resting on their legs on either side of us. Thus, not as much weight is on our crotch. Then again, it also matters what position our genitals are in.


stonk_frother

There are definitely bad angles and good angles, but finding a good angle isn't difficult.


demalition90

So fun fact, but the actual shaft of the penis can take a lot of abuse when flaccid, and even a lot of pressure when hard as long as it's uniform and not piercing. When flaccid you can twist and bend it and even tuck it in between your legs and hold it there, and while it's a lot more sensitive when hard you could comfortably fit an entire human's weight on it if it's a belly or bottom or something else cushy enough to distribute the pressure. The fragile thing isn't the shaft it's the balls, and the balls are fairly easy to slide around to avoid damage. If someone or something is on my lap I can leave a gap in between my legs and let the balls rest there, if my legs are squished together I can have my balls on my lap, etc.


DUMPAH_CHUCKER_69

One thing to mention is too much weight at the wrong angle on a hard penis can "break" it. While it is not a bone of course, you can snap some of the tissue when its erect.


ChoadyWalker

Just ask Dennis Rodman. He broke his dick 3 times. His story is on YouTube with comical cartoon recreation for your viewing pleasure.


SkoulErik

>Does this mean when a man's partner, or significant other sits in between his legs, it doesn't hurt any more than sitting on legs themselves does? If it hurts him, you'll know. He will make a quiet "humphf" sound and reposition himself. We learn very early in life to make sure we don't hurt ourselves with these sorts of things, so generally he will fix any potential hurting himself


CaptainHindsight212

Also it's worth noting, guys can sit on their balls, and every man on earth has done it at least once. But that one time instilled a deep seated subconscious awareness of the possition of our balls and we automatically adjust when sitting to avoid it happening again. When guys sit with their legs closed, our balls wind up either sitting above our thighs or hanging below them. Hanging below can only be done once he's already sitting so they can be compressed but not crushed but if they're on top we run the risk if them getting crushed if something drops on our laps. We manspread not to "assert dominance over women" or to feed our ego by taking up space or any of that bullshit, we do it to avoid discomfort and potential trauma to a very sensitive area of our bodies.


cellendril

This man balls. Seriously, I’ve sat on my testicles more than once in my life. It isn’t fun.


Mickologist

Oh man, when you're in a rush to sit back down after commercials or something, and they just swing under at the last second. Ouch


DUMPAH_CHUCKER_69

Im imaging a particularly hot and humid day with loose fitting pants.


ChoadyWalker

Nothing worse than hitting a huge bump on a riding mower, having it buck like a bronco, sending you out of your seat and directly onto your balls. Landscaper problems.


Dantien

I wish more people understood that for some men, particularly ones with large testicles, "manspreading" is done to avoid crippling pain. I know many men abuse that, and it can be excessive, but it's a fact of life for many men that sitting is not comfortable.


Azuzu88

Its also worth noting that mens hips are different to womens for just this reason. For most men it requires active effort to keep their legs in a closed position.


Zrex_9224

It's also done by men, like myself, who have larger thighs and are really trying to avoid any discomfort down south. Specifically chafing.


Vegetable_Word603

Depends on how well endowed the man is. Then again, everyone is different and has had different experiences. Plenty of times I would drop into a couch and have em slapped so to say, or a slight pinch. Plenty of times I had my partner at the time sit downninto my lap, and I would have to adjust her weight. Don't even get me started on wearing a 5 point safety harness. You get the idea.


FreedomPaid

Used to wear a safety harness fairly often. Usually rejusted my junk so I had what I can only describe as a stripper bulge. Wasn't horribly attractive, probably not very professional, but it was a whole lot better then one of the boys getting caught between my leg and the strap.


savageinthebox

Very few positions/situations hurt the penis/balls…as long as the penis is flaccid it can bend a lot and even get a little squished without pain. The real problem, if you’re interested, is one of your balls sticking to your leg on a hot day. If you’ve ever seen a man shaking his leg and taking weird long steps with wedge-foot like stance…this is all part of the ball un-sticking dance.


absoluteenergy313

Lol I would accidentally sit on my exes penis before and he’d just move me.


sadafxd

Crossing legs is an issue mostly for non skinny people, because they have no gap between legs.


InnerJumpx

Forget sitting on them. Did you know that the testies can get tangled. Happened to a friend of mine in the middle of a work shift — screamed. Had an ambulance take him away. Doesn’t seem fun.


DuneBug

testicular torsion is the stuff of nightmares.


gab-onandon

Had this in high school. Wasn't doing a thing. Just watching a movie (Not that kind). Thought it was growing pain. (Wished*)It was not. Not too much longer I was in the hospital. Next day? Surgery. Apparently they compare the pain to that of the bad side of kidney stones.


mtflyer05

My father has bad both, and I have seen the 2mm, caltrop-looking, spiky rock he passed through his urethra (he collected it in a strainer, under instruction from his urologist), and he said that he would rather pass 3 of those in a row than ever get his epididymis twisted up again.


ArchyRs

I have never had my jewels twisted, fortunately. Twice in the past year I have passed kidney stones. My body decided after 20 years that my favorite cereal (Frosted Mini Wheats) is dangerous. The first time it happened, the pain was novel in its onset. When you stub your toe, for instance, you face the brunt of its intensity and subconsciously understand that it will decrease and fade away. You don’t get the benefit of that with kidney stones. The acute sharp pain on a local area is constant; no relief or sudden break from its intensity. On my first occasion, I stayed up all night sitting down in the shower adjusting the water temp from hot to cold just to force some perception of change in my sensations. When the IV was all hooked up in the hospital and they put the pain killers in, I legit dozed off in just ten seconds. I fucking love cereal though. I also love not having kidney stones... Growing up blows.


wydidk

Maybe it's the milk instead of the cereal itself. I don't know much about stones but my dad had so many and was told to stop drinking so much milk, which sucks because he loves it. I thought it had something to do with the calcium.


ArchyRs

Yeah so the calcium deposits are the major factor, that is correct. In my case, they actually did a lab breakdown of the stone I passed. They came back to me with the explicit recommendation to avoid whatever forms of “shredded wheat” I had been consuming. Six months of no Mini Wheats and all is good. I roll the dice and buy a box at the store… A week passed and sure enough I have another kidney stone. Your dad’s story sounds more typical of kidney stone patients though from the reading I did.


wydidk

That's pretty cool that they could pinpoint it like that. Sucks though, I love shredded wheat too but can't eat cereal anymore due to tooth sensitivity.


fizikz3

>Maybe it's the milk instead of the cereal itself. [...] I thought it had something to do with the calcium. there are several types of kidney stones, but the most common type is made of calcium oxalate a bit of common misinformation is that this is due to too much calcium https://www.kidney.org/atoz/content/kidneystones_prevent >Calcium is Not the Enemy. >But it tends to get a bad rap! Most likely due to its name and composition, many are under the impression that calcium is the main culprit in calcium-oxalate stones. "I still see patients who wonder why they are getting recurring stones despite cutting down on their calcium intake," said Dr. Jhagroo. "I've even had patients say that their doctors told them to reduce their calcium intake." A diet low in calcium actually increases one's risk of developing kidney stones. >Don't reduce the calcium. Work to cut back on the sodium in your diet and to pair calcium-rich foods with oxalate-rich foods. /u/wydidk


Tacostittiesandyeets

Damn I remember football practice in 7th grade and a classmate had to go to the hospital cause his balls twisted in the sack.


Cole__MacGrath__

I had something like that. It wasn't torison, and it wasn't an infection of any kind. My urologist was stumped. My sonogram came back clear. (I asked the sonogram operator what the sex of my baby was - she didn't laugh.) So the urologist just gave me antibiotics and poof. The pain I'd been experiencing went away. It was the kind of pain that made me fold down like a lawn chair, as if some Casper jerk sneaked up on me and nailed me in the balls. There are times it still hurts but doctors have not been able to figure out why. They just asked me to wear jock straps for support when it starts hurting and it seems to do the trick.


[deleted]

if antibiotics cleared it up, you probably had epididymitis and they did not pick it up on the test. it can be excruciating


grassybuttcheeks

Knew someone who got this from getting head from a chick when he was in high school. She was playing with his balls and landed up twisting them.


BigWilllly69420

How? What happened wtf


wordserious

Not OP, but it has happened to me. Not as bad as that description, but still pretty painful. I used to commute by bicycle and apparently that time I sat with my testicles slightly to the side, as opposed to being symmetrical and flat. About one hour of constant pedaling pushed them, little by little. I was noticing a small bbut growing pain, but I wanted to get to work. When I dismounted, that's when I really felt it. Called my doctor, got an emergency visit. She probed it (carefully) and pronounced the verdict: testicular torsion. She told me to feel the affected testicle with my fingers, notice that it was twisted, and carefully work it back to the normal position. And then to take it easy and not ride the bike for a few days.


94rellic

The multiple likes and the lack of any comments tell me there's a multitude of dudes that cringed too hard to comment, but were appreciative enough to know this is a thing, so managed to give a like.


haethere69

I'm surprised I made it this far lol you're so right.


Braisrg5

Yeah I'm cringing right now, jeez, it hurts even to imagine it


nacho_s

wait wait wait, so just by "moving yourself" your crooked testicle, it returned to its position? They didn't have to undergo a surgical procedure? I ask in case something like this ever happens to me, it would be nice to know I guess


Hunter_Lala

Yes but I'm no medical professional, so I'm not going to be taking that 50/50 chance of doing it myself and making it worse and losing one or both of my boys


Mikisstuff

Righty tighty, lefty loosey. Right?


gowatchanimefgt

Did you untwist it by rolling them like baoding balls?


txgb324

This [public service announcement ](https://youtu.be/slobhI2HXhA)should explain it.


grape_pudding

Im in the hospital right now waiting for surgery, had testical torsion about 3 days ago. Wouldnt wish it on my worst enemy.


tiled_floor

Same bro! Been recovering for the past 10 days. This the type of shit I wouldn’t wish on anyone. There’s no downplaying the pain I felt that day.


TrevinoDuende

What are the odds you find two dudes with testicular torsions in one thread? This makes me afraid it’s more common than I think


tiled_floor

My doctor said three in a hundred thousand, but don’t quote me on that


flamingospacemarine

I can confirm, it feels like getting stabbed in the kidneys every 30 seconds. So if you wake up with excruciating pain in your lower abdomen and a mild pain in one of your balls, rush to the ER.


Kanterbury

This is all covered in the user manual.


Chigirl96

Is there a section in the user manual about balls swelling to the size of grapefruit or larger? Cause I’ve seen that at work and those need a bit more assistance moving. Ouch is all I can say.


Kanterbury

There is a troubleshooting section.


thefourblackbars

Try turning it on and off again.


ajmartin527

If you press up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start on the entry pad your dick and balls will double in size. My friends uncle worked at Nintendo.


thefourblackbars

My wife does call it her "joy stick" so...makes sense.


DutchBlob

Your wife also has a penis?


thefourblackbars

Yes, I gave her one for Xmas as a stocking stuffer.


DutchBlob

Ah so sweet! So now she can stuff you when you have an off day and feel empty inside


thefourblackbars

Penis©: the gift that keeps on giving.


hill_j

They don't discriminate. Good on them


DutchBlob

We’ve reached complete equality in society.


hill_j

And we've been told it couldn't be done. Ha!


REHTONA_YRT

Instructions unclear Penis stuck in USB drive


thefourblackbars

USB - Unbelievably Sized Balls.


TheSilversky64

Are you sure it's plugged in? r/unexpecteditcrowd


thefourblackbars

Try shaking it. If you hear a jiggling sound, it may be a loose nut.


Chigirl96

Really needs to be a must read for those with health problems.


krissymo77

I'm a nurse and I've seen some seriously swollen balls


thefourblackbars

What's your best ball story! You can't just leave us hanging.


Distinct_Comedian872

The suspense is driving me nuts.


neontiger07

I hope to god you're in the medical field


Chigirl96

Yes I am and oh the things I wish I could unsee


Denvershoeshine

You got a user manual?!?!?


Kanterbury

They give it to your parents. They must have lost it.


Denvershoeshine

That figures


thefourblackbars

Written by Richard Shaft.


Sir-Jarvis

Illustrated by Mike Oxlong


splodgenessabounds

And co-authored by Richard Head.


maimeddivinity

Who's Manuel?


bigdaddy1989

Quien me llama?


cngrss

we just remove it and put it back on whenever we feel like it


tyretravks

Detachable penis 🎵🎶🎵


DiscoJanetsMarble

King missile


Bigfukkendeal

I have also always wondered if your penis bounces when you run? My breasts do, so I just wondered this?


dannywx

if you run naked yes or loose boxers


balefyre

Compression underwear (running, etc) is designed to prevent this and it’s doing the lord’s work.


aweiher98

Yeah a little. But I’m willing to bet we find bouncing breasts hotter than you would find a bouncing penis


LucilleBluthsbroach

You'd win that bet.


Rottenox

Of course, but there’s far less movement if you’re wearing underwear


SeaBearsFoam

I tried boxers out for awhile and couldn't get used to my junk flopping around as I walked. Switched back to briefs for this reason. I also tried boxer briefs, but the extra length on the legs would just get scrunched up through the day and didn't add anything to the underwearing experience.


meeseekstodie137

as others have said our anatomy luckily has it that our penis and testicles are just in front of our legs rather than between them (which, thank god, I can't imagine how painful life would be if I got crushed every time I closed my legs), that being said, when we sit down our testicles typically rest on top of our legs which isn't a perfect system because there are times when we don't sit right and they get pinched briefly unless we adjust them (even as I type this in my pjs I can feel my testicles resting comfortably on my legs), there are also thigh gaps which our testicles can fall between when we sit, but not every guy has them so again its not a perfect system, as for sitting cross legged again it's more anatomy, I personally don't like to sit crosslegged but that's more because I have bad knees and it's uncomfortable to sit in that position but they typically just tend to take up whatever space is available (again, it's because our penis and testicles are more in front of our legs than between)


talented_fool

Cross-legged like ankle on other knee, or cross-legged as in one knee on top of the other? Because option A is quite comfortable, while option B is uncomfortable for me. It can be done, just more repositioning and even then not the best.


hornycactus05

For me, even for option B I do option A first, then slowly shift to B, coz there is that constant fear of pain. And testicular torsion. One day I jumped out of my bed very fast, was wearing very loose boxers and somehow hurt my testies, felt pain for 10 days, glad it wasn't torsion.


cheridontllosethatno

Where does everything go when you're running a marathon. I know it goes with you, but is it just flying all over the place? Does that hurt? Are you ever excited when it's bouncing?


[deleted]

The penis doesn't feel much pain even with too much dangling if it's flaccid and if it's not flaccid it doesn't dangle around much. Nuts are the ones that feel most of the pain but only when the nutsack is kind of loose and a bit away from body. But once that sack is tight the balls become almost a part of our body and don't move around as much . And this happens almost always when there's something a bit physical or confrontational type thing going on . So marathons aren't a huge problem.


OneMoreThanU

Simple answer.....Dick is in front of you. Balls are at two different heights.


Gettheinfo2theppl

A big thing people aren't mentioning is thigh size. My thighs are bigger than most due to being latin american and growing up doing Taekwondo (lots of leg work). My balls are never under me always in front with my flaccid dick on top. I always have a bulge. So tight jeans and people sitting on my lap can get uncomfortable but the penis and balls are like kittens they can be squished a little and fit into whatever space is needed. That's the real answer for OP.


kwagenknight

Also to add to this, they contract or hang depending on different things so in colder environments or even when guys are stressed or adrenaline is pumping the ball sack can shrink and tighten towards the body. Some people Im sure shrink/grow a lot and others not as much but its enough for its purposes of getting heat or staying out of the way.


ruski_puskin

I'm noticing a really interesting trend. Guys sometimes get suprised as how low vajajay lies, and gals get suprised how high up the penis is.


talented_fool

It's almost like we don't know how the other gender does sex organs until a partner let's us use theirs...


ruski_puskin

And even then our profitiency is questionable.


watson895

Well yeah, a lot of the time it's dark and you're half cut. Or she's super self conscious, so you can't sit there looking at exactly how it's put together.


BustinArant

Yeah I always forget to sneak in a miner's headlamp.


FreeResolve

r/badwomensanatomy r/BadMensAnatomy


LickHerLovely

I sat down once really quickly on my sofa straight onto a testicle... through pure reflex i went completely straight and essentially slide off the chair on to the floor, much to the confusion of my siblings I was with. Followed shortly by "I just sat on my balls"... then curling up, into a ball! Its only ever happened once and it... fucking... hurt!


parsons525

Underwear holds it properly. Without underwear it’s a disaster.


garlic_bread_thief

It's a nightmare if I wear my boxers and go to the gym or have to run. Oh boy it gets everywhere. It's like wearing a really loose bag on the back.


WhiteWazza

I Hate when it gets trapped in the treadmill


Heisenbread77

Or when you are at the urinal and you drop it and it hits the metal grate in the bottom.


porcolegio

You talk as if they are an attachment, but if you think of it more as part of the whole, then it isn't so hard to realize there's a place for them. Would we really survive as a species if sitting crushed our balls? Hold out your palm and see how all the fingers are uneven...now curl your fingers and they all align. Everything has it's place.


vividnormalcy

the hand curling thing is fucking wild ty for that


OptimusPrime987

It's satisfying tbh


Kride500

>now curl your fingers and they all align. I have Rheuma, mine don't


XxGuillebonxX

Do your balls hang low?


KingThommo

Men are embodied in a manner that is careful of the package unconsciously.


scotchtapesticky

Also a woman and I too have always wondered. Especially with all the nerve endings! It’s always been a mystery to me.


Mortei

It just kinda folds itself around the thighs and chills


JscrumpDaddy

Men’s underwear is awesome, it can hold the boys gently but securely so that you don’t have to worry when doing stuff. I could imagine having to be extra careful if I was fully naked and it was really hot, everything sort of relaxes and expands under those conditions.


Sea-Yard-1640

Also a woman and same. I’ve seen enough male genitals in my time that I feel like I should have a grasp on how they get positioned but I still find myself often looking at men’s crotches (on tv, films etc, I wouldn’t stare at a guys junk in public) trying to figure out where the fuck everything has relocated to. Male anatomy doesn’t do much for me sexually, so it’s not in a pervy way. It’s almost like some weird scientific curiosity. Like, it’s such a prominent area of their body when they’re naked, there’s no doubting where everything is but, once they’re clothed and positioned differently, suddenly there’s lumps where it seems like there shouldn’t be and no lumps where you think they should be. And suddenly I’m sat here like “Where have their balls gone??!!” Also, in tight underwear, they sometimes only have one discernible bulge. Does their penis compress against their balls that much that it forms one uniform bulge? And why do I care so much???!!


HTC864

Jesus Christ, that's a lot of thought put into our balls. 😂 When I read comments like this from curious women, I always think, "I hope they find a guy that's willing to let them learn."


6___-4--___0

As a ball-lover you'll be interested to learn our balls actually move around on their own. In order to keep the sperm at the right temperature, the scrotum will contract towards the body into a tight singular walnut/brain-looking wad or extend down away from the penis like two mangos in a plastic bag. When in bag-mode they are extremely free-floating and can be repositioned manually or by whatever body position and gravity dictates. Depending on how low they're dangling and how tight the underwear is, this could give a very solid triple-bulge. In wad-mode, they are very secure and nestled tightly into the underside of the shaft-body juncture and would definitely lead to a single-bulge look.


OhBuggery

Just gotta say that bag-mode and wad-mode have ruined me and they're totally accurate. You ever been so far into wad-mode that you think one of your balls has disappeared inside you? That can happen to athletes quite often..the balls go inside the body..


RichiZ2

This happens a lot when you climax during sex. Your balls suddenly decide that your pelvis is more secure than your sack, so they get sucked up One time after a couple seconds they didn't come down, and I had to manually push and reacomodate them to their sacks residency.


VitkiBj0rn

Ah yes, the brovaries mode.


okpleaseclap

incredible


WindyCityAssasin2

>Does their penis compress against their balls that much that it forms one uniform bulge? Yes


Skithiryx

Haha the flaccid penis and scrotum are pretty malleable. The penis is like… spongy. I can compress my penis to about half its flaccid height or width without feeling much of anything, for instance. And the scrotum is usually pretty loose, so the balls just kind of spread out around the penis if your underwear is really compressing (though it usually doesn’t compress much at all, even boxer briefs). The scrotum also relaxes and tightens to regulate temperature depending on how warm it is and whether it’s business time (and sometimes moves during business time! There’s a gif somewhere of a woman giving a blowjob and the recipient’s balls are fricken migrating) The other thing women usually forget or don’t realize. is that the penis isn’t actually analog to the vulva itself, it’s analog to the clitoris and roughly in the same spot, more front than bottom. So imagine you have three little water balloons hanging from your clitoris and the back ones have grapes in them.


Darklightjg1

I think there's an over-estimation of how much pressure is being applied when we sit. Even when my legs are close together or crossed, they're not violently squeezing as if I was trying to strangle someone with them. Most of the time the junk is just positioned slightly on top of one of the thighs and comfortable. Boxers/pants are relatively loose too for me, so plenty of room to reposition if necessary. I stopped wearing briefs at a young age as they felt too tight/uncomfortable for me. As far as nerve endings go, I know personally I don't really think it feels any different than like my arm or something when in a normal state. It only starts bugging me when I need to take a trip to the restroom or... you know... 😏 Also, as someone who's been kicked in the groin a few times while sparring, yeah that shit hurts tremendously when struck... enough to incapacitate me for a couple of minutes. 😆


6___-4--___0

Imagine two water balloons in a plastic bag. There's plenty of room in the bag for them to move around and avoid being put under pressure. The penis is pretty fine under pressure, it just does bad with friction.


BallsofSt33I

That’s why we have to fart - the farts keep the balls floating around the penis


Anonymousmemeart

Ah yes, the Bohr-Rutherford testicular model.


loveismydrug285

Ahh the Rutherford Methane particle scattering experiment. Methane molecules get deflected towards the penis tube and keep it afloat.


mtflyer05

Erectile dysfunction is merely due to a lack of flatulence, don't you see?


effingwhatever

Sometimes things actually do end up getting crushed or stuck where they shouldn’t be. I hit the brakes in my car the other day and remembered why I don’t usually wear boxers when I leave the house. I have no idea what went wrong down there, but I almost hit the car in front of me. For me, at least—and I think the massive variety of styles and designs in the men’s market reflect this—underwear can make a huge difference. It is, I imagine, a lot like finding the right bra design, size, and fit for your body and for the right activity/occasion.


WhiskersWithClaws

If you've paid any attention to how a man sits, you'll quickly learn why "manspreading" is a stupid term. Every man is different. Some can sit reasonably comfortably while others, like myself, have to "adjust" frequently because our balls sag to our damn kneecaps. The flaccid penis isn't even an issue. It just does its thing, barely noticeable most of the day. However, this changes when the "Instaboner" pops up, making it more uncomfortable to sit. Thankfully, natural design has mitigated much of this issue by creating our legs to be a "pocket" when they're closer together. As for the penis, it sort of sits outside the pocket, while the balls are a bit protected. Unfortunately, this design has one shit negative side effect: sweat. No matter how loose our pants or underwear, sweat is going to form and it's going to make things sticky. So sticky at times, things just tend not to want to move freely. It's one of the reasons I despise humid days. As male, I cannot understand for the life of me why we don't wear skirts. The fantastic breeze (please don't ask me how I know this) would be so welcoming, and would remove so much discomfort. Alas, I sit here in a pair of jeans and boxers, having shifted twice since writing this just to stay comfortable. No pain, just annoyances to keep comfortable.


why_did_you_make_me

The organs themselves are controlled by a number of muscles, causing the scrotum to retract during exertion. This helps get shit out of the way. When sitting, generally you don't sit with you legs closely pinned together - though if you need to the bits can go atop the legs. I'd imagine it's like having boobs. You learn ways to avoid painful situations without thinking about it, and your body is designed to help you out. That said, mistakes can and do happen. ETA: when someone sits on your lap you absolutely spread to allow the balls to rest on the chair. Also, while they're sensitive to trauma, they're not so sensitive that something like underwear is particularly noticeable - any more than a bra.


BigWilllly69420

Cremaster muscle in your scrotum contracts to elevate your balls. Dartos muscle wrinkles your scrotal skin to aid temperature regulation Dont mind me im just studying my anatomy exam coming up in a few days 🙃


protosoilder

It brings me comfort knowing that at least a few of us guys touched our balls to figure this out


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[удалено]


pennylane382

Well, now I have to punch a hard dick. For scientific purposes, of course.


xandaar337

I sit on my own balls all the time. Sitting too long makes my junk fall asleep too. Fun times.


Big-Red-Husker

I've sat on my balls multiple times it sucks something fucking horrible. And it's always a painful surprise


CarefulCurrency2

Sometimes they do. Just the other day I was going to get groceries and I was already halfway to the store before I realized my balls fell off back at the apartment and I had to turn around and go back for them. I was so embarrassed.


I_Keep_Trying

That’s why the whole “man-spreading” thing is bullshit. We need to give those things room.


Mortei

“Of course you can close your legs fully you don’t need THAT much room”. - The “my genitalia are biologically tucked away” gang.