r/depression is telling unwell people incredibly evil things.
By - Original_Body_9504
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Honestly it seems this is an issue all around reddit, be it subs like r/depression, r/bpd or even r/relationship_advice, where the solution is always a divorce/breaking up if your partner so much as goes out once without the poster. It's all toxic environments here and people shouldn't listen to advice here like its the best they could get.
Thanks for the reply. Yeah it's like asking Charlie Manson for advice, but what's even sicker is that it's the mods as well who are doing it. Just mind-blowing that this sort of evil exists on a systemic level.
Its because they all want to feel like they are some sort of authority and always speak reasonably and all their advice is always perfect. I just stopped asking for advice on subs like that and if I give any, I can just speak from personal experience, and that doesn't work for everyone.
In my experience, r/depression is one of the most depressing places for a depressed person. The people there will literally treat you with extreme hostility if you so much as suggest that they have the power to do something about their life and or attack you if you give anything that looks like meaningful advice. Massive emo teen energy all around. It's just a circle jerk where people are constantly defending their depression, working FOR their depression instead of against it.
I got better when I stopped spending time at r/depression.
IMO, the root of this pattern is - this culture of "validating feelings" gone too far! Sure, everyone needs to have their feeling validated but then at some point, you have GOT TO STFU, quit whining, get up and do something about it. When did endless validation and pity parties get anyone anywhere? Almost no one in that sub is interested in persistent effort, empowerment, or nuanced perspective of life that could help them let go of some of that sadness.
After I got better, I spent time giving some helpful advice based on my life experience of overcoming depression, sadly, those comments never got much engagement. Then I stopped when I found this sub.
This is exactly it. That whole sub is a “who’s more depressed than who” contest. Even the slightest hint that *maybe* they could at least *try* to improve their life is met with angry replies and downvotes.
I guess you can’t help people who won’t help themselves.
That explains a lot, thanks for the insight.
Same. I was upset when they appeared to shadow ban me, but no longer seeing people promoting depressive thoughts is really helpful.
Yeah, I swapped this sub for r/depression pretty quick. Even if you're not depressed and go there, it's a great way to get depressed fast lol. I understand needing to rant or being honest about how frustrating depression is, but wallowing in your own negativity while making zero effort to help yourself? Recipe for more depression right there.
Here's a sneak peek of /r/depression using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/depression/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [I hate that people don’t understand that i don’t want to kill myself, I just don’t want to be alive anymore](https://np.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/i3ajk8/i_hate_that_people_dont_understand_that_i_dont/)
\#2: [I almost killed myself today](https://np.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/jw5s9y/i_almost_killed_myself_today/)
\#3: [I'm dying, all alone.](https://np.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/m83mbr/im_dying_all_alone/)
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Being hateful is a shitty advice. But I do believe not having kids is actually a right decision if you're not in the right state of mind. I recently got a dog, and people might say it's not the same thing, but they cry, they poop everywhere, they need food and water, and they need looking and to be played with. For all intents and purposes, they're kids. And my tiredness and my being self centered, wallowing in my own issues is hurting it so much. And I feel absolutely shitty about it. To the point that I haven't left the bed much today. I can't take it for a walk, can't play with it, all I do is let it run on the terrace and clean it's poop. I'm gonna have her rehomed till I get my head out of my ass, because it hurts to see something that you'd treat like your kid suffer because of you. And that's an advice I'd give to people too. Hold off on decisions that don't just impact you, but might impact the whole life of a little thing that knows nothing while you seek help, get a bit better, and then be a parent.
I also know that this actually might have the opposite effect on someone too. Some people might be so motivated by the thought that their kids might be suffering because of them that they will do everything in their power to make sure that doesn't happen and more likely than not, succeed. And I envy those people. But unfortunately, not everyone is the same.
I am amazed at how self aware you are even though you are going through tough times. Sending love and good vibes to you my friend!
Thanks a lot mate. All you do when you feel tired all day is think. And you realize a lot of things. Some good, many bad.
I've also noticed this nihilistic trend where they promote and normalize the belief that human life is objectively worthless and pointless. They contend that human reproduction causes unjustified harm to human society (which shouldn’t exist to begin with, by this way of thinking) and the planet. Furthermore, parents are guilty of a moral crime by imposing existence on children who have not consented to their existence.
The basic tenet of their anti-natalism is simple but, for most of us, profoundly counterintuitive: that life, even under the best of circumstances, is not a gift or a miracle, but rather a harm and an imposition. According to this logic, the question of whether to have a child is not just a personal choice but an ethical one and the correct answer is always no.
Paradoxically, these people often claim that their belief in the worthlessness of human life is motivated by compassion for human life...
Their worldview suggests that because life inevitably involves some amount of suffering, bringing another person into the world introduces the guarantee of some harm. They argued that the quality of even the best lives is very bad — and considerably worse than most people recognize it to be. Although it is obviously too late to prevent our own existence, it is not too late to prevent the existence of future possible people.
On one level, this all seems like depression and self-loathing dressed up as a philosophical system. But it can’t be a valid philosophical system because it contradicts itself at every turn.
For one thing, these people undermine their own position simply by sticking around to articulate it. If you really think that life is not only pointless but also harmful, and that non-existence is preferable to existence, then the obvious question is why you yourself have chosen to continue existing. A skeptic might suspect that even you recognize, deep down, that life is worth living. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be living it anymore.
By the way, according to the statistics provided by subredditstats, people who frequent antinatalist communities are:
26.04 times more likely than the average redditor to post in /lostgeneration
17.76 times more likely than the average redditor to post in /collapse
14.91 times more likely than the average redditor to post in /suicidewatch
9.41 times more likely than the average redditor to post in /depression
8.86 times more likely than the average redditor to post in /bpd
Also, /raisedbynarcissists and /antiwork, so of course most of them would prefer not to be born and are against bringing new people into existence, especially when it's highly possible they will mostly suffer like due to disability, poverty or abandonment.
I got banned from there with no explanation. r/depressed has good mods imo.
/r/redditforgrownups told me to ghost my therapist of 10 years. This place is generally unhealthy, unfortunately.
Sounds possibly like some of the incels who lurk there and try to spread hate
Who told you this stuff? Not a professional, I hope. That's ridiculous!!! "The solution is to perpetually hate"? You need to immediately cut off whomever gave you such information.
I had to quit r/depression because all the farewell posts.
Same. I wasn't getting any better. If anything, it was actually making me even more depressed.
I dropped that subreddit once I realized most of their posts were making me more depressed. There are a few of those on reddit, and my suggestion is if any subreddit is worsening your mental state, it's best to unsub.
Sheeeeeeet I though I was the only one looking at the other subs and thinking how the flop is this helping?.
This post is kind of a lashing-out for having their comments deleted, is it not? Also, lot's of people using ad hominem here, but I'm not surprised. Looking at the original post... It's hard to tell if what was said was actually out-of-line or it just went against OP's personal feelings and worldviews. But I guess y'all are back-patting OP here, so I guess the main goal of this post is accomplished.
Asking extremely unhappy people who feel totally at odds with themselves and the world is rarely a recipe for success.
I left that sub after some time, too. It seems like there's more wallowing than support or asking for help. Which is fine if people want to wallow, sometimes that's what you need. I just find this community and other mental health subs more useful, personally.