A man is found dead under a billboard. Which company slogan looks the most (in)appropriate over the dead body?
By - Electrical_Potato_21
*Did you slip and fall? Give us a call!*
Serves you right, you injured piece of shit
We’ve got one that just reads:
Car or Truck Wreck?
(With a man wielding a sledgehammer)
I’m not even 100% sure he’s a lawyer and not just a career criminal taking credit for his work
A fellow Texan. Bill Adler is the son of the great Jim Adler, the guy who should have had 1,000 heart attacks by now - one for each commercial he has been in. [Here's the two of them together](https://youtu.be/II_7FpQMcHU)
Jim Adler’s Texas Hammer is better.
Bill has a weird phrasing.
DOUBLE THE HAMMERS DOUBLE THE JUSTICE
Oh my god imagine how long the corpse would be there. Everyone would think its a prop oml
Dr. Pepper — “What’s the Worst That Could Happen?
As an image in my mind, this one really works.
The best one so far!
(insert star-spangled man talking about how he understood the reference)
Yeah, it's a chat room for people who like to talk about eating human beings but definitely won't act on it, wink. Yeah, it's hosted on...
With a plan, maybe?
eat the evidence
That image would work great on a Zombie movie, as they start feasting on him.
thats enough internet for today
Agreed. For a few hours, yes. Go to the gym, read a book, and have nice hot shower and relax to cleanse the brain. Then dirty it back up later on some late night reddit.
I have that t-shirt
There's a T-SHIRT!!?!?
To name a few
Home Depot: you can do it, we can help
Home Depot: The #1 Assassination Service in America!
*We are not affiliated with the hardware store named Home Depot*
What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
I’d do some unspeakable things for heaven on earth
Poor man’s gold🏅🏅🏅
"What hast thou done for a Klondike Bar?"
Would you... would you kill a man?
If it was a suicide, I feel like Burger King’s *”Have It Your Way”* would be incredibly ominous.
Nike's "Just Do It" is probably pretty bad crisis advice
Home Depot's "You can do it, we can help."
Arby’s “We have the meats.”
A sign with New Hampshire's motto: "Live free or die".
I love NH because lots of my family lived there so they all have that classic New England accent and don't wear seatbelts
To New Hampshire: don't tell me what to do, you're not my supervisor! If I want to live under the tyrannical oppression imposed by my wife that's my business.
Should’ve had a V8
Same energy as "should've bought a squirrel" in that context.
Dude I’d completely forgotten about that movie
We came on a rocket car
LG. Life's good
or at least is was.
I love irony!
this is perfection lmao
"How it feels to chew 5 gum"
How it chews to gum 5 feels
Sense your stimulate
[The billboard in Ohio that just reads, "Hell is real."](https://s2.reutersmedia.net/resources/r/?m=02&d=20070129&t=2&i=323384&w=&fh=545px&fw=&ll=&pl=&sq=&r=323384)
It's a lovely welcome sign
At least they’re honest about the Ohio experience
From Ohio, can confirm. Ohio is hell
Lived in Ohio almost my whole life. I always thought that it sucked, but when I left for a long time and came back, oh it’s nice. But yeah Ohio is hell.
Also from Ohio. Can confirm existence of the billboard and the reality of the Ohio/hell experience.
I’m also from Ohio. I didn’t care for it. Then I moved to NYC and did not enjoy it. Then I moved to Missouri and it’s a worse version of Ohio. So maybe Ohio isn’t so bad, maybe I just hate people.
There's something to be said for Ohio. It's produced the most astronauts by far of any state.
Which is to say that living in Ohio makes people want to leave the planet and get as far from Ohio as humanly possible.
Wait, it's all Ohio?
Always has been
🌍 👩🚀 🔫 👩🚀
There’s one on the side of the highway in Arkansas that says, “WARNING: PREPARE TO MEET GOD”
It's just a kennel owned by a guy with dyslexia.
I am always ready to meet dog
Yes, this is dog.
An underrated comment.
We have a sign like that near my town that just says “You WILL meet God.” And then another one behind it that says “Hell is Real”
Put up a third that says "See you there."
I have so many questions, such as why is the H red, and do they speak from experience living in rural Ohio
My wife is from rural Ohio. She left as fast as she could.
So she ran like hell?
Hell is real and it's in Michigan.
"Hell is real" and "Where will you spend eternity" with the 10 commandments written on the other side. I cringe every time I see it
It's so weird. Do they think that things like that convince ANYONE?
"not sorry" reeses
I love this one too much.
This comment is criminally underrated
This comment wins. Everyone else go home
Allstate: "You're in good hands"
Oh what a feeling. Toyota
I thought Toyota was "Let's Go Places"
I remember it as "You asked for it, you got it. Toyota"
Just do it
Especially if the guy hanged himself.
Or if the witness is a necrophiliac
Or if the guy was murdered.
Damn. This was the first quote I thought of when I read the question. You beat me to it 😂😂
Beat me to it
beat meat to it
Meat beat to it
be meat to it
GE, we bring good things to life
You're not you when you are hungry.
It's finger lickin' good
I have no idea if this is true or not, but I read once that in some non-English speaking country where KFC was just starting to franchise, this was mistranslated as "lick your fingers off".
maybe ill do that
Totally unrelated but still: how do you remember the amount of underscores in your username?
Easy, it's either a set number (i.e. 15) or he's using a password manager that remembers it for him.
How could it *not* be a set number?
It's a quantum username; the number of underscores is not determined until you try to count them.
Yes and no, at least in Mexico there's no way of translate this without any curse/bad word in the slogan, so they tried with the closest one "para chuparte los dedos" or "to lick your fingers" as literal translation. But to me it's better the English one😂
There was an adult bookstore in St. Cloud, MN that was next to a KFC, and had a small marquis which had on it for a long while, *We're Finger Licking Good Too*.
Edit two: bad proofreading
Now do more editing
I saw the *we're* was wrong too 🤦
I beg your FUCKING pardon?
Arby's: "We have the meats!"
Subway: eat fresh!
Sbubby: eef freef!
I like the it.
This one made me laugh
"Why are you booing me? I'm right!"
I could hear this one
"Feels like an Arby's night!"
Goldfish: The snack that smiles back
That give me an absolutely horrifying mental image
"nobody out pizzas the hut"
He tried to out pizza the hut
And we all know what happens when you attempt this.
You mess with the sauce, you get your legs crossed
You messed with the pizza!? Well, it was nice to meetcha
Mess with the Hut, you get stabbed in the gut
Mess with the sauce, end up on the cross
Pizza’s going to send out …for YOU!
Oh god spaceballs
Pfizer’s viagra. I wanna say I once saw a slogan for them that went along the lines of “Rise again”
WOW! Thanks guys for the upvotes! I really thought there were going to be more interesting comments before mine, LOL!
*Police, examining the body:* Well that's *definitely* more than four hours.
Red Bull it gives you wings!
Narrator: It did not.
To float up to heaven
I'm lovin it.
"WHERE ARE YOU GOING WHEN YOU DIE? DIAL 1-800-JESUS"
AAA: "Don't get stuck on the side of the road!"
Years ago at my childhood home there was an accident. A camaro rear ended a big rig. The whole car up to the back seats was under the semi truck. The message on the truck?
"Delivering your future"
I had a picture of it for years but who knows where it is now
I NEED THE PICTURE !!!
If I ever find it ill definitely share. This was back in the days before cell phones so it was an analog picture or printed or whatever they're called lol
Reminds me of a picture of a truck severely stuck under a bridge/underpass with something along the lines of "There are no shortcuts in life. Do it right and safely!"
“What is your sleep number?”
Viagra " keeps you stiff for at least 8 hours"
Burger King's 'Have it your way' sounds like a threat now.
"It's nerf or nothing!"
He chose nothing
Was looking for this one
“What’s in *your* wallet?”
*Bounty - The quicker picker-upper*
Culver’s: Welcome to Delicious!
Reach out and touch someone (At&T)
Disneyland: the happiest place on earth
Google: I'm feeling lucky
"There's no wrong way to eat a Reese's"
Not going anywhere for a while?
Grab a Snickers.
Nationwide is on your side. Literally.
Nike - "Just do it"
Trojan, pleasure you want, protection you trust.
Jimmy John’s “free smells” sign
"What do you want on your Tombstone!"
Loreal : Because you’re worth it
We know a thing or two cause we’ve seen a thing or two.
Detroit Crematorium - You kill ‘em, we grill ‘em
MIL local morgue: "You stab 'em. We slab 'em."
Walmart: Save money. Live Better.
"**Takes a licking and keeps on ticking**" *Timex advert*
"Like a good neighbor, state farm is there."
'Because you're worth it'.
Virginia slims: " You've come a long way, baby"
I HATE STEVEN SINGER!
This one is for a jewelry store in Philadelphia.
Melts in your mouth, not your hand.
It keeps going, and going, and going, and going.....
Snickers: Not going anywhere for a while?
Melts in Your Mouth, Not in Your Hands - M&Ms
RedBull gives you wings.
Just in case if I accidentally stole this, Maxwell House: Good to the last drop.
When you're here, you're family
"Tad's Taxidermy. You snuff em, we stuff em."
Should have gone to specsavers
Especially in a car crash
Wendy's: Where's the Beef?
"At Amazon we are cutting carbon emissions by %50"
ea sports, it's in the game
Toyota: Let's go places
"Crack into a Slim Jim"
Literally anything to do with food,
KFC: "It's finger-licking good!"
Burger King: "Have it your way."
Subway: "Eat fresh."
Morgan&Morgan: SIZE MATTERS
The man is wearing a giant chicken outfit and the billboard is for Chik-fil-a.
Lucky charms. "Their magically delicious!"
“When it’s half the price it’s twice as nice”
Coke adds life!
Gillette's "No more #smellymalestubble, please!!!"
Or, Gillette the best a man can get