What is the all time best primary school assembly song?
By - GingieB
Sing Hosanna... and one kid must always do an extra "of kings!" when the song has finished.
Fucking hell, Sing Hosanna absolutely went off
This made me laugh louder than it should 🤘
Lol I’m glad! We’d shout encore for that shit hahah
Lighters in the air vibes!
Keep me burning...
GIVE ME OIL IN MY LAMP I PRAY
Give me oil in my lamp keep me burning
Keep me burning til the break of day.
My head teacher would absolutely pop off if any of us sang the second 'of kings' but someone was always too tempted by the crowd of anonymity.
Omg. Yeah, ours was a huge b*tch. She went on to become someone who rates other head teachers and helps them improve their schools. I work in my school now and our current head teacher is amazing!
Not a assembly song, but our music teacher would absolutely lose his shit if we sung "In the bay of biscuit tin" instead of Biscay-O. Fuck you Mr Dyer you Iguanadon thumbed twat.
That must be universal! My assistant head screamed at us if we added ‘of kings’ and made us do it again over and over until we got it right
Too many head teachers with a God complex!
Lol they were so triggered by that song
Even more fun when you sing 'Sing Lasagna'. Classic.
One of the teachers was so sick of people adding the extra 'of kings', they made us stay in assembly until we sang it right from beginning to end. Every time someone did an extra of kings, we had to start over. She had no chill.
My mums name is Rossana and she used to be a teaching assistant at my Primary school when I was still a student, I started singing 'sing Rossana' and the rest of my friends followed, eventually Everytime the whole school sung it and she died with embarrassment everytime.
The best verse was the one with the line “Give me peace in my heart keep me resting”
We would always change the resting for wrestling and the teachers would hate it!
Literally the top 5/6 comments here all ring so true .. unless you all went to my school, what the fuck is up with the whole UK being made to sing these same songs? Where’s the educational value? Why _these_ songs?
Apparently there was some dude with a cave and stuff and this is the foundation for outsourcing moral compasses to which the songs hint at. My CofE school was very passionate about it, as was I that it couldn't realistically be real.
Religion my dude. Did everyone have to pray aswell? In primary every assembly had a prayer. Not even a religious school, just normal town one
My wife and I had this at our wedding recently (she chose it) and I almost did that 😂
Hahaha I love that this is a nationwide thing.
He's got the whole world in his hands.
Except we used to shout PANTS instead of hands.
We used to sing up his arse instead of hands 😂😂
Fucking hell what school did you go to would've got bollocked for that behaviour where I went😂
We used to get told off just for singing an enthusiastic ‘Yeah!’ at the end of any particularly upbeat song. I mean God forbid we actually get into it and enjoy ourselves, right?
As a teacher I don't enforce punishment from kids being overenthusiastic about these things. Mainly because I could never prove intentions and because I get why kids do it.
But in my experience those children getting into things, shouting extra words, clapping and wooping. Aren't innocently getting into the song. They are taking the piss out of occasion and the enthusiasm is mock enthusiasm and enjoying getting to be a bit of a loud mouth twat under the guise of "I'm just really into the song."
We had a singer come into our school sing some of her songs trying to get her career going. And the children went mental. They were clapping raucously as she sung, often drowning her out. They were all waving their arms, repeating some of her words. Cheering extensively. It sounded like a bloody Robbie Williams concert at at 02 stadium.
Bless her she was beaming from ear to ear and loved the experience. When she asked if anyone wanted her autograph and we said if they didn't want her autograph they could just go back to class to learn maths. Suddenly every kid in the entire year group wanted to line up for her autograph.
Absolute little piss takers make no mistake.
Little did we know how satirical we were
Absolutely belting out elePHANT
Overly elongated kangarooooooooooooooooooooo
Truly the greatest
GIVE ME OIL IN MY LAMP KEEP ME BURNING
GIVE ME OIL IN MY LAMP I PRAY
GIVE ME OIL IN MY LAMP KEEP ME BURNING
KEEP ME BURNING TO THE BREAK OF DAAAAAAAY
Had to be full volume, every single time.
the nostalgia tho
A whole song of mumbling followed by everyone shouting the line “When I was cold and naked were you there” at the top of their voice
When I needed a Neighbour!! That one slapped.
Our class got told off for laughing. The head teacher like stopped the piano and scolded us, like a total long dramatic pause and then was like "how dare you all... that's so disrespectful". Nutter
How on earth do teachers tell the class off for something like this and manage to keep a straight face 🤣🤣🤣
Yesss I was looking for this comment. Usually proceeded by a fit of the giggles because "naked"
HERE I AM LORD, IS IT IIII LOOOOORD!?
SHINE JESUS SHINE. Banger.
I’m not Christian but that’s a CHUUUUUNE
Set our hearts on FIYARRRR, the northern kids sang
*ITS FIRE NOT FIYAR* cried the snobby teaching assistant
FLOW RIVER FLOW
FLOOD THE NATIONS!!!
>am i a joke to you!?
Damn, agreed. I wasn't religious, but I loved it from a musical perspective.
Lord of the dance settee.
I wanked in the morning when the skys had begun
I wanked in the moon and the stars and the sun
I came down from heaven and I wanked on the earth
At Bethlehem I had my first.
Wank then wherever you may be
I am the lord of the wank said he
And I'll lead you all wherever may be
And I'll lead you all in a wank said he.
I wanked on a friday when the sky turned black
Its hard to wank with the devil up your crack
They buried my body and they thought I’d gone
But I am the wank and I still go on
Couldn't read the OHP til year 2 and glasses. Was completely confident in the lyrics 'lord of the dancing tree'
Daaaance whennn youuu get stung by a bee
Hahaha the lord of the dance setee🤣.
It's been too long.
Edit: be interesting to know when people who remember *Autumn Days*, and agree on the brilliance of it, went to primary school. I was 81-87.
Cracking tune but I feel they were really reaching when they came up with, "jet planes meeting in the air to be refueled"
The fucks that got to do with autumn?
And 87 - 94 to answer your question
Ahhh all those classic autumn sights, football, apple pie, comfy shoes… jet planes refuelling :/
‘ The hymn caused controversy in 1996, when choir members of the 12th-century St. Mary's Church in Wroxham, Norfolk, walked out rather than sing the hymn. They found the reference to "jet planes meeting in air to be refuelled," to be inappropriate. White explained that she had written the hymn for the children at a school under a flight path to sing. ‘
Imagine taking yourselves so seriously that you'd walk out because of that. Fucking weirdos.
Came here to choose this. ‘Broad beans are sleeping in their blankety bed’ is the most satisfying line to say in all history.
This was a different song called "Cauliflowers Fluffy". Just as awesome though.
So it is, I blended them into one it turns out. Time to drop a remix
So I mustn't forgeeeeeeeeeeeeeet!
TO SAY A GREAT BIG THANK YOU I MUSTN’T FORGET.
I’m not religious but it’s a hell of a tune
It's obviously this. "And a win for my home team" was always sung louder by the boys".
I was 86-92
For us the enthusiasm would continue to the last verse, "and THE TASTE. OF. AP. PLE. PIE."
We were allowed to pump our fists at that line so it was a unanimous favourite.
Yes my absolute favourite! So evocative. We sang it 2003 - 2011.
Autumn Days is also my fave. I went to primary school 2000-06.
Is that the one with the unrealistic expectation of jet fuels meeting in the air to he refuelled?
I've only ever seen that on Air Force One.
The only hymn to mention bacon has my vote! Also 81-87
AND A WIN FOR MY HOME TEAM! Haha, what a banger!
Edit : 89 - 96 for me! (Roughly)
Wow not heard this song in years or ever thought of it but just seeing ‘autumn days’ written made the tune come back clear
I remember this and I finished primary school in 2000!
This is the correct answer
For some reason we always ended up just very enthusiastically shouting this one.
Left primary school in 1998.
Cauliflowers fluffy and cabbages green...
Strawberries sweeter than any I've seen! Chooooon!
Beetroots purple and onions white!
All grow steadily day and night
The APPLES are RIPE the plums are RED
and broad beans are sleeping in their blankety bed YEAH!
We had to whisper the "Yeah!" As the broad beans where sleeping.
Was this the catchiest tune of all time?
He's got the whole world.....
…in his hands
Take my upvote
UP HIS BUM
(In his arse for the braver kids)
IN HIS PANTS
HE'S GOT THE WIND AND THE RAIN, IN HIS PANTS!
We used to sing "When i'm 64" - Don't think you can outdo the Beatles when it comes to primary school songs..
Oh yeah! We did Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da and All You Need Is Love.
We did a call and response girls and boys version of With a Little Help from my Friends. Didn't really get it at the time. Turns out I should have paid more attention to my teachers. Who'd have thought it?
Amd Streets of London for some reason too.
WE ALL LIVE IN A TUB OF MARGARINE...
"From the tiny ant"
*"From the tiny ant"*
"To the elephant"
*"To the elephant"*
~~"From the monkey to the chimpanzee"~~
~~_"From the monkey to the chimpanzee"_~~
"From the snake to the kangaroo"
*"From the snake to the kangaroo"*
CARE FOR THEM IT’S UP TO YOU
Everyone in my school would turn into snakes at the third chorus:
"Care for them it's up to usssssss"
Was the same at mine. Our headteacher was also called Mr Isaacs - so "good morning Mr isaacssssssss' also became a daily thing.
Any Dream Will Do is a stone cold classic banger
All of the Joseph songs fucking slapped.
They still fucking do, holy shit
It was red&yellow&green&brown&something&something&something&something AND BLUE!
I CLOSE MY EYES
DREW BACK THE CURTAINS
Fairly sure I played Joseph in the primary school play, around the same time as [Jason Donovan](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfNMhu9wdl0) released this.
Colours of Day was my favourite. Im not religious in the slightest but went to a church primary school and always loved singing this.
So light up the fire and let the flame burn, open the doors let Jesus return.....like a pop song.
We would sing Colours of Day with an extra emphasis on the last word of each line; “So light up the FIRE and let the flame BURN, open the DOORS, let Jesus RETURN!” It got so bad with kids screaming out the words as loud as they could and everyone dissolving into fits of giggles that they eventually banned us from singing it. :(
Jesus Christ that exact thing happened to my class. You just transported me back 35 years. That was weird af.
Kumbaya - there were many many things that the unnamed someone was doing...
Someone's weeping Lord...Kumbayaaaaaa
🎵 Come by car me lord - come by car. 🎵
🎵 Crash my car me lord - crash my car 🎵
Morning has broken.
We had a kid in our class called Eden everyone looked at him at that line.
I got into my city's cathedral choir blasting that one out. Didn't join in the end, despite the prospect of 50p for performing each Sunday. I think the choir master may have been a nonce too, so it was probably for the best. Good times!
Little Donkey. (I usually delete the auto up vote thing but I'm leaving it on this comment because I'm I know I'm right 😂)
the chorus of that actually banged tho hahah
*piano build up*
*every child inhales*
RIIIIING OUT THOSE BELLLLS TONIGHT
FOLLOOW THAT STAR TONIGHT
Did any other school do 'London's Burning' but split into 4 different groups that started singing at different times?
Don't know why but that shit stuck with me, I'm 33 and still think about it from time to time.
Yes! Canons! We did this with a few actually. There was a Hebrew one as well we did in 4 parts:
May peace be with you
Throughoooout youuuuur daaaayyss
In all that you do
May peace he with you
I loved it especially in canon. Very solemn and sounded super cool.
I remember one about conkers and me and my friend thought it would be hilarious to imagine the word conkers was referring to breasts. There was one particular lyric "we're trying to find the biggest and the best" that we thought was peak comedy.
Conkers, I’m collecting conkers!
I'm trying hard to find the biggest and the best!
Lord of the dance
Top tier tune that one
It still pops into my head at least once a month and I wander round singing it for a few days.
The harvest festival song was a banger. There was another song that we altered a bit to sing “Woke up this morning, got out of my bed. Looked in the mirror and I shot my self dead.” Teachers weren’t impressed. Think it was called life is a wonderful thing?
It’s another harvest festival, where we bring our fruit and vegetables, to give thanks for all the good things that we’ve been given.
It’s another opportunity, to be grateful for the food we eat… something something
Cabbages and greens,
Broccoli and Beans,
Something something and roasted potatoes,
Tastes so good to me
Ngl not solid on all of those words, but the chorus melody is in my head rn. From the early 2000s.
You’ve helped me uncover a memory I forgot I had
All things bright and beautiful
All creatures great and small
All things wise and wonderful
The Lord God made them all
"When A Knight Won His Spurs" was always my favourite.
Loved that one. Remember sitting on the end of the row, by the teachers, and as we sang the "for God and for valor" the maths teacher leaned over to the science teacher and said "Isn't that a brand of gas?"
It took me a little while to realise the Knights weren't gallant and bald.
If I Were a Butterfly was an absolute banger of a hymn.
And if I were, a fuzzy wuzzy bear
I’d thank you Lord for my fuzzy wuzzy hair
'The apples are ripe, the plums are red, the broadbeans are sleeping in their blankety bed.'
We all used to shout 'HEY!' at the end too.
If I had a hammer was a good one
My school often played the anthem that was 'our God is a great big God'
[our god is a great big god](https://youtu.be/eaXPXWBcE3I)
I always found this one a bit strange. Normally one refers to God as just "God", but to specify "Our God" makes it sound like the song was trying to compare him to a range of other, smaller gods
That really tickled me hahaha
The whole Old Testament is basically that, to be fair.
‘Thou shalt worship no other god before me.’
Worship others, by all means, but remember who’s your boss.
Little boxes on a hillside... Apparently one of my primary school teachers was quite the subversive
We had that one too!
Top 3 in no particular order:
He’s got the whole world in his hands
Shine Jesus shineeee
GIMME ONE TWO THREE
WE ARE THE CHILDREN OF "INSERT NAME" SCHOOL
WE TAKE PRIDE IN THE THINGS WE DO
LEARNING TOGETHER AND HAVING FUN
WHOSE FOR A GOOD DAY
EVERYBODYS SPECIAL EVERYBODY HAS GIFTS SO WE’RE GONNA LEARN TOGETHER AND WE’RE GONNA LEARN TO GIVE.
Only OGs could make it through the rap part without pausing
We had "reach for the stars" and it was verry cringey so therefore a good primary school song.
I was cold, I was naked,
Were you there, were you there?
I was cold, I was naked, were you there?
And the creed and the colour
And the name won't matter,
Were you there?
The whole assembly hall giggling at the word naked
Jubilate, getting faster and faster till you could barely speak the words
This little light of mine turned a catholic school into a gospel choir for just a few minutes.
I used to live next to a small Welsh only primary school, and the sound of the kids belting out "Sosban Fach" (little saucepan) never failed to put a smile on my face.
I danced in the morning when the world was begun...
I danced with the moon, the stars and the sun!
Conkers we're collecting conkers we need to find the biggest and the best!
Wouldn’t it be funny if the sky were green,
And the grass was spotty yellow!
Wouldn’t it be funny if the trees could talk,
And the flowers and plants could see!
Wouldn’t it be strange!
Wouldn’t it be weird!
Wouldn’t it be most peculiar up indeed?!
One mother hen sat on 4 little eggs, Keeping them warm in her little egg nest, Then one day she heard a crack And a little voice said, as the egg was hatched;
“I’m… a…spring chicken! I’m yellow and small. My feathers are fluffy and they’re keeping me warm.
I can't believe I had to come this far down for Spring Chicken!
🎶 I'm a spring chicken, I'm yellow and small, my feathers are fluffy and they're keeping me warm, my legs are not long so I'll never be tall, I'm a real spring chicken and I'm having a ball. I'm a chicken, I'm a chicken and I'm having a ball 🎶
I recall 'Onward Christian Soldiers' and thinking it was a little bit weird.
(hypocrital and radicalisation were not words I knew back then)
The bungalow song. I remeber loving screaming MY HAND ARE HIGH MY FEET ARE LOW AND THIS IS HOW WE BUNGALOW and then proceed to look as if I was having a seizure
All I remember was singing Led Like A Lamb, and there was a line that went "Mary, Master, Mary, Master"
The boys had to sing Mary. Girls had to sing Master.
But every time we did it, the boys went full on MARY!!!!! like it was a lads football chant.
Followed by the girls singing more gently, and not matching the boys' volume, singing "Master".
Followed by everyone giggling.
They would always tell us girls to amp up the volume but it never happened. We repeatedly found this hilarious every week.
This little light of mine
There were many, but none got me a whole 1% more interested in religion than Shine Jesus Shine.
God that's uplifting!
But still an atheist over here.
And special shout out to that age group im in that had to sing the Joseph And His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat soundtrack.
We shall go out with joy and be led forth with peace and the mountains and hills shall break forth before you, they’ll be SHOUTS of joy, and the trees of the fields will clap, will clap their hands.
The trees of the field shall clap their hands. The trees of the field shall clap their hands. The trees of the field shall clap their hands while you go out with joy.
Faster and faster and faster
The harvest samba is an absolute jam imo , u know, the one that goes like
“Cabbages and greens
Peas and broccoli
Cauliflower and roasted potatoes
Taste so good to me”
One more step along the world I go,
One more step along the world I go;
From the old things to the new
Keep me traveling along with you...
As a primary school teacher, I can confirm that 99% of these are still sung on the reg.
‘The earth is yours oh God. You nouriSH IT with rain…’ teachers cottoned on when only about 5 kids sang the worlds and the rest of the school just shouted S***.
Was promptly banned and replaced with ‘There are hundreds and thousands, millions of sparrows. Two a penny FAR Too many…’
Most people don’t realise that all of these songs are from a BBC hymnal designed for schools that was released in the 70s and 80s. I made a post ages ago with links to listen to them and some more info about them. https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/hjv1j7/prepare_for_nostalgia_all_of_the_songs_from_your/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Shine, Jesus, shine…
Joshua fought the battle of Jericho...
“The purple-headed mountain”
“I was cold I was naked were you there”
“I bought me a wife, I married a cow”
Paint. a. perfect. picture.
Whatever that ark one was
Do you mean, "the animals came in two by two hurrah, hurrah"
Or, "God... Told Noah... To build.. An ark-y, ark-y..."
Both of them are bangers tbh
Who built the ark? NO-ONE NO-ONE! Brother, no-one built the ark.
Morning has broken was always my favourite
WHATS ON THE MENU FOR LUNCHTIME TODAY?
LET ME IMAGINE WHAT IT MIGHT SAY!
Daaaannnce then! Where ever he may be!
Kumbaya, my lord! And yes, I had to Google the spelling.
'Bind us together Lord, Bind us together with chords that cannot be broken'...
Wow.this post is taking me back!!
LITTLE DONKEY LITTLE DONKEY ON A DUSTY ROAD
We used to sing Don't stop Believing and True Colours. I still know most of the lyrics, but I hate both songs with a passion now
We had an Easter song whose name I can't remember but the first lines were to the effect of "Sing a song, sing a happy song, sing a happy song to celebrate" and every time it came out each spring it was like the whole hall simply lifted and became charged with excitement
He's got the whole world in his hands.
I can sing a rainbow 🌈
GIVE ME OIL IN MY LAMP KEEP ME BURNING
You shall go out with joy
dum dum dum forth with peace
and the dum da dum da dum
will da dum before you
"Oh come all ye faithf-"
WOULDN'T IT BE LOVELY
SWING LOW SWEET CHARIOT
Did you all have this hymn book?
Oh and “If I had a hammer”
For any fellow Welshies, Pwy Naeth Y Ser uwch ben!
My personal favourite English language one was one more step along the world I go! We used to sing it on last day ever of primary and it used to give me a lump in my front
Living and learning or the school rules song
Our school's song was 'O God our help in ages past'.
We all sung it with a big groan, like '*Oh GOD*, our help in ages past'
All Things Bright and Beautiful… but apparently my school taught us to sing it to a different tune than the one that is universally accepted. We sang “All things bright and beauu-tii-ful”, enunciating each syllable. I learned as an adult that that’s not the done thing?
Morning has broken!
Quite liked Animals go in two by two Hurrah too