T O P

What is the all time best primary school assembly song?

What is the all time best primary school assembly song?

manhattan4

Sing Hosanna... and one kid must always do an extra "of kings!" when the song has finished.


ChilliConCarne97

Fucking hell, Sing Hosanna absolutely went off


DinosaurRepublic

This made me laugh louder than it should 🤘


ChilliConCarne97

Lol I’m glad! We’d shout encore for that shit hahah


DinosaurRepublic

Lighters in the air vibes!


[deleted]

[удалено]


GoliathsBigBrother

Keep me burning...


lawlore

GIVE ME OIL IN MY LAMP I PRAY


Icy_Society_9931

Give me oil in my lamp keep me burning


Individual-Gur-7292

Keep me burning til the break of day.


cheerupsleepyg

Sing Hosanna


vario_

My head teacher would absolutely pop off if any of us sang the second 'of kings' but someone was always too tempted by the crowd of anonymity.


[deleted]

[удалено]


vario_

Omg. Yeah, ours was a huge b*tch. She went on to become someone who rates other head teachers and helps them improve their schools. I work in my school now and our current head teacher is amazing!


herpesuponthee

Not a assembly song, but our music teacher would absolutely lose his shit if we sung "In the bay of biscuit tin" instead of Biscay-O. Fuck you Mr Dyer you Iguanadon thumbed twat.


AmethystAngel86

That must be universal! My assistant head screamed at us if we added ‘of kings’ and made us do it again over and over until we got it right


vario_

Too many head teachers with a God complex!


AmethystAngel86

Lol they were so triggered by that song


vmachine89

Even more fun when you sing 'Sing Lasagna'. Classic.


Awkward_Rabbityt

One of the teachers was so sick of people adding the extra 'of kings', they made us stay in assembly until we sang it right from beginning to end. Every time someone did an extra of kings, we had to start over. She had no chill.


Wilfko

My mums name is Rossana and she used to be a teaching assistant at my Primary school when I was still a student, I started singing 'sing Rossana' and the rest of my friends followed, eventually Everytime the whole school sung it and she died with embarrassment everytime.


Sapanga

The best verse was the one with the line “Give me peace in my heart keep me resting” We would always change the resting for wrestling and the teachers would hate it!


summ190

Literally the top 5/6 comments here all ring so true .. unless you all went to my school, what the fuck is up with the whole UK being made to sing these same songs? Where’s the educational value? Why _these_ songs?


worldlive

Apparently there was some dude with a cave and stuff and this is the foundation for outsourcing moral compasses to which the songs hint at. My CofE school was very passionate about it, as was I that it couldn't realistically be real.


saltywastelandcoffee

Religion my dude. Did everyone have to pray aswell? In primary every assembly had a prayer. Not even a religious school, just normal town one


Cobbler91

My wife and I had this at our wedding recently (she chose it) and I almost did that 😂


LikeEveryoneSheKnows

Hahaha I love that this is a nationwide thing.


naverd01

He's got the whole world in his hands. Except we used to shout PANTS instead of hands. Fun times.


dantheman121212

We used to sing up his arse instead of hands 😂😂


itssuprs

Fucking hell what school did you go to would've got bollocked for that behaviour where I went😂


Jonny_Segment

We used to get told off just for singing an enthusiastic ‘Yeah!’ at the end of any particularly upbeat song. I mean God forbid we actually get into it and enjoy ourselves, right?


OneCollar4

As a teacher I don't enforce punishment from kids being overenthusiastic about these things. Mainly because I could never prove intentions and because I get why kids do it. But in my experience those children getting into things, shouting extra words, clapping and wooping. Aren't innocently getting into the song. They are taking the piss out of occasion and the enthusiasm is mock enthusiasm and enjoying getting to be a bit of a loud mouth twat under the guise of "I'm just really into the song." We had a singer come into our school sing some of her songs trying to get her career going. And the children went mental. They were clapping raucously as she sung, often drowning her out. They were all waving their arms, repeating some of her words. Cheering extensively. It sounded like a bloody Robbie Williams concert at at 02 stadium. Bless her she was beaming from ear to ear and loved the experience. When she asked if anyone wanted her autograph and we said if they didn't want her autograph they could just go back to class to learn maths. Suddenly every kid in the entire year group wanted to line up for her autograph. Absolute little piss takers make no mistake.


ryanmurphy2611

Little did we know how satirical we were


QSoC1801

Absolutely belting out elePHANT Overly elongated kangarooooooooooooooooooooo Truly the greatest


ivysilver8-8

GIVE ME OIL IN MY LAMP KEEP ME BURNING GIVE ME OIL IN MY LAMP I PRAY GIVE ME OIL IN MY LAMP KEEP ME BURNING KEEP ME BURNING TO THE BREAK OF DAAAAAAAY Had to be full volume, every single time.


blepshark

the nostalgia tho


CombatSportsPT

A whole song of mumbling followed by everyone shouting the line “When I was cold and naked were you there” at the top of their voice


Vivid_Championship66

When I needed a Neighbour!! That one slapped.


RattusNorvegicus11

Our class got told off for laughing. The head teacher like stopped the piano and scolded us, like a total long dramatic pause and then was like "how dare you all... that's so disrespectful". Nutter


mrswilliams808

How on earth do teachers tell the class off for something like this and manage to keep a straight face 🤣🤣🤣


roxifer

Yesss I was looking for this comment. Usually proceeded by a fit of the giggles because "naked"


Wilfko

HERE I AM LORD, IS IT IIII LOOOOORD!?


ashakespearething

SHINE JESUS SHINE. Banger.


havingmares

I’m not Christian but that’s a CHUUUUUNE


OtetsOtechestve

Set our hearts on FIYARRRR, the northern kids sang *ITS FIRE NOT FIYAR* cried the snobby teaching assistant


likethefish33

FLOW RIVER FLOW


HannibalsElephan

FLOOD THE NATIONS!!! Germany: >am i a joke to you!?


cometblitz03

Damn, agreed. I wasn't religious, but I loved it from a musical perspective.


Mockwyn

Lord of the dance settee.


ssttuueeyy

AHH yes. I wanked in the morning when the skys had begun I wanked in the moon and the stars and the sun I came down from heaven and I wanked on the earth At Bethlehem I had my first. Wank then wherever you may be I am the lord of the wank said he And I'll lead you all wherever may be And I'll lead you all in a wank said he.


rickiexu_

I wanked on a friday when the sky turned black Its hard to wank with the devil up your crack They buried my body and they thought I’d gone But I am the wank and I still go on


whatwasoldpassword

Couldn't read the OHP til year 2 and glasses. Was completely confident in the lyrics 'lord of the dancing tree'


geubes

Daaaance whennn youuu get stung by a bee


Emergency_72

Hahaha the lord of the dance setee🤣. It's been too long.


ClassroomPast6178

Autumn Days Edit: be interesting to know when people who remember *Autumn Days*, and agree on the brilliance of it, went to primary school. I was 81-87.


koftechameleon

Cracking tune but I feel they were really reaching when they came up with, "jet planes meeting in the air to be refueled" The fucks that got to do with autumn? And 87 - 94 to answer your question


pingusbeak

Ahhh all those classic autumn sights, football, apple pie, comfy shoes… jet planes refuelling :/


reaper_2

‘ The hymn caused controversy in 1996, when choir members of the 12th-century St. Mary's Church in Wroxham, Norfolk, walked out rather than sing the hymn. They found the reference to "jet planes meeting in air to be refuelled," to be inappropriate.[6] White explained that she had written the hymn for the children at a school under a flight path to sing. ‘ 87-94


alexsmith10

Imagine taking yourselves so seriously that you'd walk out because of that. Fucking weirdos.


GorillaToast

Inappropriate... how?


TheMightyKBird

Came here to choose this. ‘Broad beans are sleeping in their blankety bed’ is the most satisfying line to say in all history.


DuckBricky

This was a different song called "Cauliflowers Fluffy". Just as awesome though.


TheMightyKBird

So it is, I blended them into one it turns out. Time to drop a remix


DuckBricky

Subscribe


Zolana

So I mustn't forgeeeeeeeeeeeeeet! Edit: 96-03


[deleted]

TO SAY A GREAT BIG THANK YOU I MUSTN’T FORGET. I’m not religious but it’s a hell of a tune


MarcusTheo

It's obviously this. "And a win for my home team" was always sung louder by the boys". I was 86-92


DuckBricky

For us the enthusiasm would continue to the last verse, "and THE TASTE. OF. AP. PLE. PIE."


pellegrinos

We were allowed to pump our fists at that line so it was a unanimous favourite.


-Subhuman-

Yes my absolute favourite! So evocative. We sang it 2003 - 2011.


vario_

Autumn Days is also my fave. I went to primary school 2000-06.


BastardsCryinInnit

Is that the one with the unrealistic expectation of jet fuels meeting in the air to he refuelled? I've only ever seen that on Air Force One.


eccedoge

The only hymn to mention bacon has my vote! Also 81-87


MrJM85

AND A WIN FOR MY HOME TEAM! Haha, what a banger! Edit : 89 - 96 for me! (Roughly)


pencilca5e

Wow not heard this song in years or ever thought of it but just seeing ‘autumn days’ written made the tune come back clear


ginbandit

I remember this and I finished primary school in 2000!


Levantante

This is the correct answer


MentalFairy

For some reason we always ended up just very enthusiastically shouting this one. Left primary school in 1998.


spanglesandbambi

Cauliflowers fluffy and cabbages green...


-Zalitha-

Strawberries sweeter than any I've seen! Chooooon!


dizzydiplodocus

Beetroots purple and onions white!


i-am-a-little-unsure

All grow steadily day and night


dizzydiplodocus

The APPLES are RIPE the plums are RED


i-am-a-little-unsure

and broad beans are sleeping in their blankety bed YEAH!


ight69

We had to whisper the "Yeah!" As the broad beans where sleeping.


Stoosies

Was this the catchiest tune of all time?


ChodeLord69420

He's got the whole world.....


MelodicAd2213

…in his hands Take my upvote


ssshhhutup

UP HIS BUM (In his arse for the braver kids)


TheYorkshireGripper

IN HIS PANTS HE'S GOT THE WIND AND THE RAIN, IN HIS PANTS!


marcdk217

We used to sing "When i'm 64" - Don't think you can outdo the Beatles when it comes to primary school songs..


Boperatic

Oh yeah! We did Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da and All You Need Is Love.


TheShankManGB

We did a call and response girls and boys version of With a Little Help from my Friends. Didn't really get it at the time. Turns out I should have paid more attention to my teachers. Who'd have thought it?


Emergency_72

Amd Streets of London for some reason too.


lapsongsouchong

WE ALL LIVE IN A TUB OF MARGARINE...


keldar89

"From the tiny ant" *"From the tiny ant"* "To the elephant" *"To the elephant"* ~~"From the monkey to the chimpanzee"~~ ~~_"From the monkey to the chimpanzee"_~~ **Edit:** "From the snake to the kangaroo" *"From the snake to the kangaroo"*


pingusbeak

CARE FOR THEM IT’S UP TO YOU


DuckBricky

Everyone in my school would turn into snakes at the third chorus: "Care for them it's up to usssssss"


ruffled-gem

Was the same at mine. Our headteacher was also called Mr Isaacs - so "good morning Mr isaacssssssss' also became a daily thing.


Net_Curtains

Any Dream Will Do is a stone cold classic banger


PrincessStabbity

All of the Joseph songs fucking slapped.


TheTokenEnglishman

They still fucking do, holy shit


ssshhhutup

It was red&yellow&green&brown&something&something&something&something AND BLUE!


_passerine

I CLOSE MY EYES


Kxvtr

DREW BACK THE CURTAINS


skinnneeerrr

Aahhaahhhh


20127010603170562316

Fairly sure I played Joseph in the primary school play, around the same time as [Jason Donovan](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VfNMhu9wdl0) released this.


KeepOnTrippinOn

Colours of Day was my favourite. Im not religious in the slightest but went to a church primary school and always loved singing this. So light up the fire and let the flame burn, open the doors let Jesus return.....like a pop song.


Even-Tomatillo-4197

We would sing Colours of Day with an extra emphasis on the last word of each line; “So light up the FIRE and let the flame BURN, open the DOORS, let Jesus RETURN!” It got so bad with kids screaming out the words as loud as they could and everyone dissolving into fits of giggles that they eventually banned us from singing it. :(


DeaconLogan

Jesus Christ that exact thing happened to my class. You just transported me back 35 years. That was weird af.


random_username07

Kumbaya - there were many many things that the unnamed someone was doing...


GingieB

Someone's weeping Lord...Kumbayaaaaaa


McMrChip

🎵 Come by car me lord - come by car. 🎵 See also: 🎵 Crash my car me lord - crash my car 🎵


funtimefrankie1

Morning has broken.


BECKYISHERE

We had a kid in our class called Eden everyone looked at him at that line.


lonely_monkee

I got into my city's cathedral choir blasting that one out. Didn't join in the end, despite the prospect of 50p for performing each Sunday. I think the choir master may have been a nonce too, so it was probably for the best. Good times!


madMARTYNmarsh

Little Donkey. (I usually delete the auto up vote thing but I'm leaving it on this comment because I'm I know I'm right 😂)


[deleted]

the chorus of that actually banged tho hahah *piano build up* *every child inhales* RIIIIING OUT THOSE BELLLLS TONIGHT BETHLEHEM, BETHLEHEM


VivaVonFiva

FOLLOOW THAT STAR TONIGHT BETHLEHEM, BETHLEHEM


Hakutoros

Did any other school do 'London's Burning' but split into 4 different groups that started singing at different times? Don't know why but that shit stuck with me, I'm 33 and still think about it from time to time.


[deleted]

Yes! Canons! We did this with a few actually. There was a Hebrew one as well we did in 4 parts: Shalom, shalom May peace be with you Throughoooout youuuuur daaaayyss In all that you do May peace he with you Shalom. Shalom I loved it especially in canon. Very solemn and sounded super cool.


Patience-D

I remember one about conkers and me and my friend thought it would be hilarious to imagine the word conkers was referring to breasts. There was one particular lyric "we're trying to find the biggest and the best" that we thought was peak comedy.


frankie_0924

Conkers, I’m collecting conkers!


doreentheexploreen

I'm trying hard to find the biggest and the best!


xSneakySandwich

Lord of the dance Top tier tune that one


ivysilver8-8

It still pops into my head at least once a month and I wander round singing it for a few days.


Lady_Suffering

The harvest festival song was a banger. There was another song that we altered a bit to sing “Woke up this morning, got out of my bed. Looked in the mirror and I shot my self dead.” Teachers weren’t impressed. Think it was called life is a wonderful thing?


Memu432

It’s another harvest festival, where we bring our fruit and vegetables, to give thanks for all the good things that we’ve been given. It’s another opportunity, to be grateful for the food we eat… something something Cabbages and greens, Broccoli and Beans, Something something and roasted potatoes, Tastes so good to me Ngl not solid on all of those words, but the chorus melody is in my head rn. From the early 2000s.


Late_Chocolate9609

You’ve helped me uncover a memory I forgot I had


grizwald2112

All things bright and beautiful


dizzydiplodocus

All creatures great and small


grizwald2112

All things wise and wonderful


Goshawk13

The Lord God made them all


Stooby2

"When A Knight Won His Spurs" was always my favourite.


Botentbo

Loved that one. Remember sitting on the end of the row, by the teachers, and as we sang the "for God and for valor" the maths teacher leaned over to the science teacher and said "Isn't that a brand of gas?"


Stooby2

It took me a little while to realise the Knights weren't gallant and bald.


Even-Tomatillo-4197

If I Were a Butterfly was an absolute banger of a hymn.


pingusbeak

And if I were, a fuzzy wuzzy bear I’d thank you Lord for my fuzzy wuzzy hair


Athena_x

'The apples are ripe, the plums are red, the broadbeans are sleeping in their blankety bed.'


lovemesayhellyes

We all used to shout 'HEY!' at the end too.


Beatrix_-_Kiddo

If I had a hammer was a good one


hyperballad95

My school often played the anthem that was 'our God is a great big God' [our god is a great big god](https://youtu.be/eaXPXWBcE3I)


MelonSizedLemon

I always found this one a bit strange. Normally one refers to God as just "God", but to specify "Our God" makes it sound like the song was trying to compare him to a range of other, smaller gods


asteroid_jam

That really tickled me hahaha


Bollywop

The whole Old Testament is basically that, to be fair. ‘Thou shalt worship no other god before me.’ Worship others, by all means, but remember who’s your boss.


TomStreamer

Little boxes on a hillside... Apparently one of my primary school teachers was quite the subversive


EchoAzulai

We had that one too!


hariibocupcake

Top 3 in no particular order: He’s got the whole world in his hands Sing hosanna Shine Jesus shineeee


dubincubin

GIMME ONE GIMME TWO GIMME ONE TWO THREE WE ARE THE CHILDREN OF "INSERT NAME" SCHOOL WE TAKE PRIDE IN THE THINGS WE DO LEARNING TOGETHER AND HAVING FUN WHOSE FOR A GOOD DAY EVVVVVRRRYYY ONE!


Memu432

EVERYBODYS SPECIAL EVERYBODY HAS GIFTS SO WE’RE GONNA LEARN TOGETHER AND WE’RE GONNA LEARN TO GIVE. Only OGs could make it through the rap part without pausing


sadsobble

We had "reach for the stars" and it was verry cringey so therefore a good primary school song.


kw0510

I was cold, I was naked, Were you there, were you there? I was cold, I was naked, were you there? And the creed and the colour And the name won't matter, Were you there? The whole assembly hall giggling at the word naked


havingmares

Jubilate, getting faster and faster till you could barely speak the words


Emergency_72

This little light of mine turned a catholic school into a gospel choir for just a few minutes.


spunkymynci

I used to live next to a small Welsh only primary school, and the sound of the kids belting out "Sosban Fach" (little saucepan) never failed to put a smile on my face.


AchillesHeel43

I danced in the morning when the world was begun...


Kickhisassippon

I danced with the moon, the stars and the sun!


Matrixblackhole

Conkers we're collecting conkers we need to find the biggest and the best! //////// Wouldn’t it be funny if the sky were green, And the grass was spotty yellow! Wouldn’t it be funny if the trees could talk, And the flowers and plants could see! Wouldn’t it be strange! Wouldn’t it be weird! Wouldn’t it be most peculiar up indeed?! //// One mother hen sat on 4 little eggs, Keeping them warm in her little egg nest, Then one day she heard a crack And a little voice said, as the egg was hatched; “I’m… a…spring chicken! I’m yellow and small. My feathers are fluffy and they’re keeping me warm.


theprincessofpink83

I can't believe I had to come this far down for Spring Chicken!


Traditional_Box7396

🎶 I'm a spring chicken, I'm yellow and small, my feathers are fluffy and they're keeping me warm, my legs are not long so I'll never be tall, I'm a real spring chicken and I'm having a ball. I'm a chicken, I'm a chicken and I'm having a ball 🎶


MellieontheTelly

I recall 'Onward Christian Soldiers' and thinking it was a little bit weird. (hypocrital and radicalisation were not words I knew back then)


useless_orange_v

The bungalow song. I remeber loving screaming MY HAND ARE HIGH MY FEET ARE LOW AND THIS IS HOW WE BUNGALOW and then proceed to look as if I was having a seizure


SpinelPearlLapis

All I remember was singing Led Like A Lamb, and there was a line that went "Mary, Master, Mary, Master" The boys had to sing Mary. Girls had to sing Master. But every time we did it, the boys went full on MARY!!!!! like it was a lads football chant. Followed by the girls singing more gently, and not matching the boys' volume, singing "Master". Followed by everyone giggling. They would always tell us girls to amp up the volume but it never happened. We repeatedly found this hilarious every week.


foolinasuitcase

This little light of mine


BastardsCryinInnit

There were many, but none got me a whole 1% more interested in religion than Shine Jesus Shine. God that's uplifting! But still an atheist over here. And special shout out to that age group im in that had to sing the Joseph And His Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat soundtrack.


UnpredictiveList

We shall go out with joy and be led forth with peace and the mountains and hills shall break forth before you, they’ll be SHOUTS of joy, and the trees of the fields will clap, will clap their hands. The trees of the field shall clap their hands. The trees of the field shall clap their hands. The trees of the field shall clap their hands while you go out with joy. WeshallgooutwithjoyandbeledforthwithpeaceandthemountainsandhillsshallbreakforthbeforeyoutheyllbeSHOUTSofjoyandthetreesofthefieldswillclapwillclapthierhands. Faster and faster and faster


OP-SmallGuy

The harvest samba is an absolute jam imo , u know, the one that goes like “Cabbages and greens Peas and broccoli Cauliflower and roasted potatoes Taste so good to me”


thezulugreat

One more step along the world I go, One more step along the world I go; From the old things to the new Keep me traveling along with you...


mittens107

As a primary school teacher, I can confirm that 99% of these are still sung on the reg.


kidshaw

‘The earth is yours oh God. You nouriSH IT with rain…’ teachers cottoned on when only about 5 kids sang the worlds and the rest of the school just shouted S***. Was promptly banned and replaced with ‘There are hundreds and thousands, millions of sparrows. Two a penny FAR Too many…’


Rodrik_Stark

Most people don’t realise that all of these songs are from a BBC hymnal designed for schools that was released in the 70s and 80s. I made a post ages ago with links to listen to them and some more info about them. https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/hjv1j7/prepare_for_nostalgia_all_of_the_songs_from_your/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


BarryMcBarry2020

Shine, Jesus, shine…


RyanL1984

Joshua fought the battle of Jericho...


ade_mcc

“The purple-headed mountain” “I was cold I was naked were you there” “I bought me a wife, I married a cow” Fun memories!


Geoffofneir

Paint. a. perfect. picture.


Gerbilpapa

Whatever that ark one was


GoliathsBigBrother

Do you mean, "the animals came in two by two hurrah, hurrah" Or, "God... Told Noah... To build.. An ark-y, ark-y..."


Gerbilpapa

Both of them are bangers tbh


FlashyLaw0

Who built the ark? NO-ONE NO-ONE! Brother, no-one built the ark.


Briarhorse

Morning has broken was always my favourite


85merlin

WHATS ON THE MENU FOR LUNCHTIME TODAY? LET ME IMAGINE WHAT IT MIGHT SAY!


Kablam228

Daaaannnce then! Where ever he may be!


titsmcguiee

Kumbaya, my lord! And yes, I had to Google the spelling.


redpillsea

'Bind us together Lord, Bind us together with chords that cannot be broken'... Wow.this post is taking me back!!


ultimatewooderz

LITTLE DONKEY LITTLE DONKEY ON A DUSTY ROAD


hallowedtrooper

We used to sing Don't stop Believing and True Colours. I still know most of the lyrics, but I hate both songs with a passion now


QSoC1801

We had an Easter song whose name I can't remember but the first lines were to the effect of "Sing a song, sing a happy song, sing a happy song to celebrate" and every time it came out each spring it was like the whole hall simply lifted and became charged with excitement


[deleted]

He's got the whole world in his hands.


steelneil82

I can sing a rainbow 🌈


neevel-knievel

GIVE ME OIL IN MY LAMP KEEP ME BURNING


Puzzleheaded-Rip1787

You shall go out with joy dum dum dum forth with peace and the dum da dum da dum will da dum before you


b2bpaul

"Oh come all ye faithf-" "OH COME!!!"


HereKittyKittyyyy

WOULDN'T IT BE LOVELY and SWING LOW SWEET CHARIOT


Dr_Quink

Did you all have this hymn book? https://www.reddit.com/r/CasualUK/comments/l9p3z4/did_you_have_this_in_school_prove_it_what_was_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf Oh and “If I had a hammer”


carlitos_segway

For any fellow Welshies, Pwy Naeth Y Ser uwch ben! My personal favourite English language one was one more step along the world I go! We used to sing it on last day ever of primary and it used to give me a lump in my front


nesorsemaj

Living and learning or the school rules song


sgst

Our school's song was 'O God our help in ages past'. We all sung it with a big groan, like '*Oh GOD*, our help in ages past'


loz_cat

All Things Bright and Beautiful… but apparently my school taught us to sing it to a different tune than the one that is universally accepted. We sang “All things bright and beauu-tii-ful”, enunciating each syllable. I learned as an adult that that’s not the done thing?


6_023x1023

Morning has broken! Quite liked Animals go in two by two Hurrah too