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Here is one of the best diagrams and discussions of female anatomy that I've ever seen. I think one of the important things to know is that the clitoris (the female analogue of the penis and the part that feels the best when touched during sex for most women) has *internal* parts that you can't see in addition to& external parts. https://helloclue.com/articles/cycle-a-z/what-is-the-clitoris (As others have noted, nothing "cums" out of the clitoris when women have orgasms. Mostly women just have muscle contractions inside the vagina.) The vagina is like a long tube of muscle and the internal parts of the clitoris wrap around that tube. So having something inside the vagina feels good, but might not be enough to trigger an orgasm. Most women need to have the external parts of the clitoris to be stimulated for orgasm to happen.


TIL 'vulva vestibule' is a thing. Makes my lady parts sound sacred :-) the only other context I've heard that word in is as part of a church!


Is it just me, or does Labia Majora sound like a star constellation?


Should be Labis Majoris unless you want an astronomer to fight you over the whole Greek vs Latin roots thing.


Who will I attract by arguing over octopodes, octopi, and octopuses?


Username checks out. Good job mate.


Yes! It's a beautiful combination of words


When I go balls to the wall, it's really testicles to the vestibule.


Honestly once you see the entire clitoris, it’s crazy how much it’s essentially a different form of a penis. The part that’s sticking out is like the head.


Not even essentially! It's LITERALLY a different form of a penis. All human embryos begin with the exact same genital structures, which differentiate into more penis-like or more vagina-like in utero. The female labia majora are the analogue to the testicular sack. https://dsdguidelines.org/htdocs/parents/handout_genital_development.html And in fact, genital development is a spectrum and people can have genitalia that are variations of somewhere between the stereotypical male penis/female vagina. We call them intersex people and sadly our society still has a horrific habit of surgically altering the genitalia of intersex people in infancy (obviously without their consent) to look like "one or the other" instead of just leaving them alone and letting them decide for themselves later in life.


Yeah I always thought that was fucked up. I think they're getting better about it.


I wish I could have had this information when I was growing up.


There are a lot of good answers here. I am going to focus on more of the 'how to.' All women are different - and you should ask your partner specifically what she likes. Most women, 70-80% cannot 'cum' or orgasm with penetration alone.Doesn't mean we don't love dick - it's just a damn curse I guess. :P The majority of us need some stimulation - or a lot in many cases - tongue, hands, toys - generally around our clitoris.Think of it as being the sensitivity equivalent of the head of your penis. It's located pretty close to the upper wall, closest to our belly button. \[Just google it.\]If you're using your fingers, you want to summon the genie to make all your wishes come true. As far as how long, some women cam cum in a few minutes, some take an hour.Everyone is different, though I personally would say 10-20 minutes for me.Most of us can cum multiple times.We do not 'ejaculate.' In my experience, we do secrete a milky white or clear lubricating fluid.I wouldn't worry about making women squirt. Not all that common, and more of something people get into later on in their sex lives.You don't need to treat sex like something out of a manual. Don't worry about squirting - it is not as common as some people have made it out to be. Express yourself, be passionate and have fun. She'll know if you're fumbling around investigating. Edit: Also something to think about. Some women cannot cum, and anti anxiety/depression pills often prevent it.


>If you're using your fingers, you want to summon the genie to make all your wishes come true to add in on this: most women probably won't like it if you start rubbing super fast or hard at the start, at least I don't. and some girls are extra sensitive, so going too hard could pull you out of the mood and then it just gets annoying. start slow and light, maybe tease around the clit first, and then after a while you can increase speed and pressure. maybe also ask if what you're doing feels good and if you need to go faster/harder, not everyone is super vocal about what they like.


This! Sometimes my boyfriend thinks he's being sexy by rubbing my clit directly and/or too fast, but I'm super sensitive and it takes me right out of the mood. He is getting better about it


It makes my legs numb and it hurts. And from personal experience, if a girl says, "Stop doing that, it doesn't feel good/that hurts," for the love of all that is horny, *FUCKING STOP!*


Lol, after my gf and I had gotten really comfortable with each other, she loved being mean by stimulating me after I came. Like if she made me cum from a bj she would just wait for like a minute after, just as I was really getting so relaxed and comfortable, and then she’d start going again when I didn’t have the energy to stop her. I’d twitch and beg her to stop and call her evil (not serious of course just playfully) and she thought it was funny as hell. One day I got her back by sucking her clit right after she came and she twitched so bad she almost fell out of the bed. You really can’t joke around like that though until you’ve been together a lot time and already know exactly what the other person likes and doesn’t like.


> stimulating me after I came My bf and I play with a magic wand. One time I was on top of him, he was inside me and I had the magic wand against me. He came first, and I immediately put the wand at level 3 and kept it pressed against him until after I came. Fun torture. :)


Username checks out?


Uh, I hate having my clit touched directly. It is really painful. If the "hood" isn't on it, then don't rub or even touch tnx.


I saw a porn video where a guy was doing this to a girl for a couple of minutes and she had to pretend everything was ok and i just wanted to whack him or send him an aggressive email


Porn is full of sexual in accuracies. I still love it. But there are sometimes I can’t even get in to it. I just say “there’s no way she actually enjoys that” and change it


Me too. It REALLY HURTS. Porn really ruins things for people. It makes men feel like they fail when their partner isn’t cumming like a banshee and doesn’t allow women to get to orgasm because men are doing it all wrong. Squirting is not common and after working on a porn set, I can tell you the women are just peeing. Sorry. The actresses (let me say that again ACTRESSES) drink a shit ton of water and pee ; not female ejaculation at all


Some women cannot cum but that doesn't mean you shouldn't give them the same amount of attention!! I thought for the longest I couldn't cum until I met my current SO. Don't get discouraged. Keep at it. I ended up feeling like a breathing Fleshlight after a while because my two previous partners both went "why bother?" and stopped trying to get me off. Even if she/they honest to goodness cannot cum, the stimulation is still fun and way better than lying there because you couldn't be bothered.


> I ended up feeling like a breathing Fleshlight after a while because my two previous partners both went "why bother?" and stopped trying to get me off. That sounds horrible! Even from the guy’s perspective I just can’t imagine being in a relationship like that, I’d be in a sex therapist’s office the next day trying to find out what the hell I’m doing wrong.


It’s not a curse, it’s anatomy, actually. I only learned this recently and hope that I still have the basic facts straight. So... turns out that early in the 20th Century it was found out that “frigid” women (those who don’t come by penetration alone, horrible word though) seemed to have a larger distance between their glans clitoris and their vaginal opening. It even became a fad for a while to operate on women to get them closer together so the glans clitoris was stimulated during penetration. So women who orgasm during penetration also don’t orgasm because of the penetration, but because their clitoris is stimulated enough during it. Though I would also imagine that for some of us there something about the clitoral bulbs being stimulated being enough for them to cum. But that’s just guessing.


The metric is generally from the clitoris to the urinary meatus. The only reason I know this is because my housemates masters psych thesis had a specific mention of the CUMD.


I read your comment too quickly and thought that CUMD was a pun of CUM MD, like a doctor that specializes in orgasms


Cum MD, at your cervix mam'.


When they first gave me the acronym I thought they were joking haha


Now science has also discovered the internal structure of the clitoris which has long wings inside near the vagina. Each woman’s internal structure likely also influences her ability to orgasm from vaginal penetration and might be why some women even orgasm from anal penetration!


I learned recently that the fad of operating on women to move their clitorises to make orgasm easier was not so women could enjoy sex more but rather so men could do even less work in sex and feel like sex gods. Also, expectedly, many women suffered from lifelong pain and problems urinating and (surprise!) inability to orgasm at all because the organ dedicated to sexual pleasure had been hacked apart. Behind the Bastards did a good episode on it a few months ago if anyone’s interested in learning more. (I’m on mobile/busy now but I’ll add a link to it here later)


Part 1: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vYmVoaW5kdGhlYmFzdGFyZHM/episode/ODkxM2U1M2EtNDQwMy0xMWViLThmMGEtOWZmMmM2MGFmOTkw?ep=14 Part 2: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cHM6Ly9mZWVkcy5tZWdhcGhvbmUuZm0vYmVoaW5kdGhlYmFzdGFyZHM/episode/ODkyY2JiMzItNDQwMy0xMWViLThmMGEtMjMxNjcyMDNlY2E3?ep=14


Such a great podcast. These episodes were especially tough to get through tho.


Thanks for giving the youngster a straight answer!💯


In addition, women’s sexual organs are much more extensive than what most people think (women included!). For me, direct stimulation of the ‘button’ (glans clitoris) is too much and frequently unpleasant during the early stages of foreplay, but stimulating the nerves that make up the surrounding [crura and vestibular bulbs](https://helloclue.com/articles/cycle-a-z/what-is-the-clitoris) gets me going every time. A LOT of female anatomy is still based on dissections of other mammals’ reproductive systems from centuries ago and much of the nerve endings in and around the vulva have been completely ignored by doctors and scientists until VERY recently. Many, many women have had huge sections of their sexual organs irreparably damaged by doctors who have no idea what they’re doing and severed nerve endings during childbirth and other medical procedures. It does the entire gender a disservice to keep thinking of the glans clitoris as the only source of pleasure and arousal in women because there’s soooo much more to it than just the external organ and we’re still learning about it.




If all they're doing is pumping then you just keep on dumping. You deserve better.




I find a lot of stimulation before penetration and certain positions make all the difference. So plenty of foreplay, likely me on top, setting the pace, depth, motion means I can orgasm from penetration. But, just a dude thrusting away? Not going to happen.


It may be a generational thing, particularly as women sexual anatomy has pretty much made leaps and bounds in the past few decades. It's sort been a growing trend that men are wanting and willing to put in more effort in helping their partner reach orgasm. Unfortunately to varying degrees, there are too many stories in TwoXChromosomes of women telling their man that they've never cum from penetration sex and the guy taking that as some sort of challenge. Then they get all butt hurt when the woman doesn't cum from penetration and say that something is wrong *with her.* Yall just can't win. :/


Learn nothing from porn.


Yeah watching porn is like watching an action movie. Some dude dodging bullets, crashing a car and roll out the broken front windshield to chase the bad guy. I'm not saying it doesn't or never happens but the chances are infintely smaller then the movie seems to want you to think. It's nice to enjoy the movie, nothing wrong with that, but don't be the idiot that thinks he can dodge bullets, or jump face first into a windscreen and not have a scratch.


Dude, what kind of porn are you watching....? That sounds awesome!!!!


They call me: "Fast & Furious: Too fast to come"


Plus the characters in action movies are typically either really gifted in combat, or are highly trained and skilled. ​ (Same probably goes, hypothetically, for characters in p\*rn)


Porn is the way it is because it's using two senses (visual and aural) to represent something that uses all sense and even emotions. Everything is bigger and louder and tighter shinier and cranked up to 10 and it still pales in comparison. So porn is in an arms race with something it can likely never win.


Also regarding female ejaculation in porn: Most of the time it’s pee. They drink a lot of water and then they pee as hard as they can to give the impression of ejaculation. It’s rare for females to ejaculate when they orgasm. Most women never do it.


Like 14 years ago when I was in college, I dated a girl who was what you would call a natural squirter. Now when I say natural squirter I don't mean shooting out several feet like she was taking a piss, but more like one or two VERY short spurts of liquid(most likely urine). In addition to this she would continually produce more liquid as things would progress into sex. We would have to put down a towel, otherwise change the sheets every time we got frisky. At first it was strange to me but eventually I grew to like it in that it let me know I was doing a good job. One time though...my Lord. I won't go into too much detail but it was our longest tease and after several hours she finally released and it was a legitimate 1-2 foot squirt that went all over my face. She was embarrassed but I was okay with it and we went about our day.


For me the “going about your day” bit has always been the oddest thing about sex. Like, you wake up, have breakfast, go to work, get home and wash up, stick your tongue in someone’s butt, vigorously rub your sexy bits together and make a bit of a mess, make dinner like you’re a normal person, watch some TV and go to sleep. I mean, the sex is fairly weird compared to the other stuff you do, and even though most people do it sometimes you mostly act like it doesn’t exist.


I think that has to do with the fact that sex just isn't that big a part of most people's lives. Even the most vigorous of lovers probably couldn't average more than an hour a day and most normal people are probably less than an hour a week(I've been married for eight years so the frequency of which my wife and I engage in the act comes out to around an hour a month). We've been together so long, we know exactly what to do to get each other off in the most efficient way so, at this point, we can have a 10-15 minute session where we are both satisfied. I would also imagine the things you describe would be less prevalent in more progressive/less puritanical countries.


My hubby and I have had discussions about this exact thing and wondering if we're "weird" or not. Married 17 yrs together 19. We've got it down to a science and know what we like/don't like so we can get it done for us both in about 10 to 15 mins or less. Always wondered if that was odd. (I'll be honest there are times when kids aren't home and we have the house to ourselves for the night that we'll take our time or have sex multiple times just because we have more freedom but for the most part we are pretty quick/routine and still satisfied)


I don't think it's weird at all. It's just evidence of a healthy relationship; to know someone so intimately is a gift not everyone gets.


I live in a very progressive and non-puritanical country, and I’m a very non-puritanical guy. What I mean about acting as if sex doesn’t exist is this: When I go to work tomorrow and a coworker asks me how my weekend was, it’s not appropriate for me to answer “Great, my wife and I stayed home and had lots of sex. My jaw is a bit numb and I have bruise on my knee but it was totally worth it”. While I do realize that the reason my 55-year old neighbor is so happy lately is that she has a new boyfriend and she probably gets laid more than me right now, it’s not something to bring up in a casual conversation across the fence. If I’m late to an event, I would need to blame traffic even if the real reason is that the wife and I got horny and decided to have a quicky before going out. Everyone knows people have sex, but it’s rarely appropriate to mention it.


I think this depends on your personal life, social life, personality, etc too though. Like if I were late to meet with friends and said sorry I was hooking up with a girl in the car and got carried away, no one would bat an eye. But I also have friends that if they said the same, it would be the topic of conversation for the next hour from pure curiosity lol


This is the answer. You gotta also realize there are plenty of other things we do daily that aren't frequently spoken about due to them either being irrelevant or taboo. Things like personal finances, marriage problems, mental health issues, closely guarded personal histories....etc...So I don't find it particularly odd we don't discuss sex more openly.


Exactly. Pooping, blowing your nose, popping zips, trimming your toenails, sex .... it's a big list.


My wife and I when we first got together would have sex from 10-7 like it was a damn job! In about 5-6 sessions. EVERYDAY or at least EVERY OTHER DAY. Man thank God for no Ring app back then her parents would be like why is your bf over while I’m out at work? Still together after 9 years. Married and have 4 kids. It dwindles and we at least tell each other hey that was a good session or man we are just not on fire today.


> get home and wash up, stick your tongue in someone’s butt, vigorously rub your sexy bits together and make a bit of a mess reddit moment


We also stop in the middle of the day, often at work, get partially naked and extrude foul smelling/biologically dangerous waste out our buttholes. Say hi to our boss on the way out and hop right on into a business meeting minutes later. That’s almost weirder than sex and even more common.


And that's something I find kinda hot. Like, I can go get railed up the ass or go blow someone, and then just go to the grocery store or to work or whatever like I normally do, and I'm walking around with someone's load in me or a sore asshole or whatever, and nobody would know. Like having a dirty secret, except I'm not the only one there who was getting it a short time ago.


*That bitch peed on me! What NERVE she has after I cummed on her eight times!*


Oh gross TIL lol


I saw one clip where the woman squirted into a cup and gave it to the dude, for him to drink it, never felt more disgusted in my life.


Yet it's not as bad as 2g1c. I'm amazed and fascinated over the human brains.


I read that it was pudding they shoved up there before and I choose to believe that 100 percent.


I like your thinking, but it's been like 15 years since I've seen that video so I can't remember what it looked like and I'm not going back to confirm.


I just looked, it looks like pudding


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2_Girls_1_Cup#Production > Viewers **often speculate** that the apparent feces are actually food substances such as refried beans, ice cream, or peanut butter.[6] Some speculate that the vomit is real, but was regurgitated before reaching the stomach and does not contain any gastric acids. In the video, the majority of the vomit does not enter the mouths.[7] Fiorito **unsuccessfully argued in court that the excrement was actually chocolate ice cream**.[8] ^^^/u/Babyspitter ^^^/u/guardian1691


It went to court‽


Wait why did it go to court?


> Authorities **in the United States** have branded some of Fiorito's films as obscene and filed charges against Danilo Croce, a Brazilian lawyer living in Florida, listed as an officer of a company distributing Fiorito's films in the United States.


Doesn't compare to 1man1jar


Oh no what is this? Oh heavens no. No please no. My friend saw your comment. I bet all my possessions he is gonna play it on his TV. Fucking help me


Aaaaaaand that's enough Internet for me today


Poor OP. 17 year old kid wants anatomy lesson and gets piss drinking instead.


Some people are really into that, though.


Or they will insert water between shots so it looks like they are squirting. I think the most amount ive experienced was just a stream, not an actual shooting squirt.


I'm a former porn star (~200 movies?) And I've seen this happen and exactly once. More often, I see fake cum shots from the guys.


Like how?


Fake cum from the guys? A bunch of newer porn seems to use fake cum. It pisses me off. And it pisses others off as well. In the comment section, the ones written in English (I don’t know wtf all those Spanish comments say), are usually aggravated and pointing out the fake cum also. They will usually pan the camera up to the dude’s face (which I also hate) and then cut to the girl acting as if she’s sucking and dude is cumming in her mouth. Then she opens her mouth and massive amounts of super fake looking jizz comes pouring down her chin. So they fill her mouth up with fake cum (they sell online) and puts dude’s schlong in her mouth and then “puts on the show.” They later edit it to look “real.” Same technique is used for the fake creampies. A bunch of Japanese creampie gangbang porn does this. It’s pixelated but you can tell the dudes are wearing condoms but every time a dude “finishes” he pulls out and fake cum comes pouring out of an orifice. I saw on a Japanese porn website that proudly proclaimed on the front page “NEVER FAKE CUM!” So there must be growing discontent among porn connoisseurs about all the fake cum being used nowadays. Lol ^^^edit:spelling


I'm not saying you're wrong, but I've also heard people say that people are wrong when they say "it's just pee." So I don't know what to believe.




It's actually not rare for women to ejaculate when they cum, but it looks very different to the 'squirting' that happens in porn... Close to a woman's urethra are a number of ducts, which lead to glands that are homologous with some of the glands that are more well known, and understood, in male reproductive systems. As with a lot of things to do with the female body, these ducts and glands tend to get completely overlooked, and their functions are not widely known. Bartholin's glands are located slightly below the vaginal opening, to the left and right. They secrete mucous. This mucous mixes with the fluid produced by the Skene glands, and other delicious stuff like mucous produced by cervical glands, plasma that transudes through the vaginal walls, shedded vaginal and cervical cells, to become the vaginal discharge that we're all familiar with; and acts as lubrication. When a woman is sexually aroused, the production of this mucous increases. Bartholin's glands are homologous to bulbourethral glands in males, which produce precum. Skene's glands are located slightly below the urethra, to the left and right. It's the fluid that these glands secrete that's homologous to cum, as it's primarily secreted during orgasm. The fluid is milky white, and contains prostate-specific antigen (PSA)... That's right... The Skene glands are homologous to the prostate glands in males. This fluid doesn't gush out of women the same way as cum is ejaculated out of males... Only a few mls of the milky fluid gets secreted. There was a (remarkably poor, very small scale) study conducted a few years ago that showed that when a woman 'squirts', urine is rapidly produced by, and expelled from, the bladder. Unlike 'normal' urine, this rapidly produced urine is colourless and odourless... And also contains traces of PSA, probably because the urine mixed with the fluid secreted by the Skene's glands on its way out of the urethra, due to their close proximity. You would think that only the milky fluid secreted by the Skene's glands would be referred to as 'female ejaculate', but... That's not the case. Because of the stigma surrounding urine in general, there has been a lot of backlash, and people have been incredibly resistant to calling the fluid produced when 'squirting' urine, even though there is strong evidence that indicates that's what it is. Whether it's pee or not, there should be absolutely no shame for 'squirting' when you cum. It's just one of those 'weird body things' that should be embraced. Similarly, women should not feel ashamed if they don't 'squirt' a lot of liquid when they cum, as it's actually only a minority of women who do that. All women, however, secrete the milky fluid from their Skene's glands when they cum. Editing to add: when you think about it, it's kind of cool that some women get so aroused that their bodies and brains essentially momentarily break, and they involuntarily pee! Also: I know that not all people who have vaginas, Skene glands, and Bartholin's glands identify as female/women (and that not all people who identify as women havevaginas, Skene glands, and Bartholin's glands) and did not mean to offend anyone by using those words... It just made writing things easier for me.


A lot of people tell you (correctly) to not learn from porn. But then they don't give you any alternative where to learn from. So you're stuck with either no knowledge or bad knowledge. I'm glad threads like this exist so you get some good knowledge instead.


Wikipedia bro


Wikipedia is good for things like quick overviews of big academic topics, but for something like basic sex education? It's too clinical and dense to really extract meaningful knowledge. Baseline sex education needs frank and personable communication about what's important to know.


Oh boy okay. I'm going to delete this later but since a lot of men are answering, I feel like a girl could pitch in. Note I'm going to assume masturbation. Having sex takes longer since you have different goals (having fun & getting off together vs cranking one out) How long it takes is different, just like it is for men. If sincerely motivated I can get off in like 5-8 minutes; but the orgasm that comes from that isn't very powerful. I can definitely also go longer to get a more powerful effect. The actual orgasm itself is short. I haven't timed myself, but I imagine it's basically always under 5 seconds. What "comes out" is pussy juice, basically just... fluid. Same kind fluid as when we get wet, but more of it. It doesn't shoot or squirt or gush out for most ladies, we just get dripping wet. How much depends on how powerful the orgasm is; for the quickie I mentioned up there I barely get any but if it's a more powerful orgasm I have to go wipe up or deal with wet underwear the rest of the day. [edit: while you're here, scarleteen is a great sex ed resource you can take a look at.](https://www.scarleteen.com/)


Scarleteen is a really good recommendation for answers on any sex related stuff.


"My dick is in her, what do I do now?"




"Now put it back in"


"Repeat process until you see results."




Try a man next time, that might keep you hard.


In the '60s I made love to many, many women, often outdoors, in the mud and the rain... and it's possible a man slipped in. There'd be no way of knowing.


What is this from? I remember this from a show


Instructions unclear, penis stuck in his penis. WDID?!




Instructions unclear. Penis stuck in ceiling fan


Now shake it all about. Do the hokey pokey, that’s what it’s all about!


Cha Cha now yall


Why would I take it out if I had to put it in again? Think op think !


"And shake it all about"


Rotate 32 degrees.


Engage rotor...


Bend girter






“Just stick it in her and pee. Unless you don’t want to get her pregnant, then you pull it out and pee on her leg” -Cartman


“Give me a moment babe, I need to look up the next step”


Hijacking top comment to copy and paste her original comment here: "Oh boy okay. I'm going to delete this later but since a lot of men are answering, I feel like a girl could pitch in. Note I'm going to assume masturbation. Having sex takes longer since you have different goals (having fun & getting off together vs cranking one out) How long it takes is different, just like it is for men. If sincerely motivated I can get off in like 5-8 minutes; but the orgasm that comes from that isn't very powerful. I can definitely also go longer to get a more powerful effect. The actual orgasm itself is short. I haven't timed myself, but I imagine it's basically always under 5 seconds. What "comes out" is pussy juice, basically just... fluid. Same kind fluid as when we get wet, but more of it. It doesn't shoot or squirt or gush out for most ladies, we just get dripping wet. How much depends on how powerful the orgasm is; for the quickie I mentioned up there I barely get any but if it's a more powerful orgasm I have to go wipe up or deal with wet underwear the rest of the day. [edit: while you're here, scarleteen is a great sex ed resource you can take a look at.](https://www.scarleteen.com/)"


Don't delete. This will help people.


I have gone on this acct while at school & it's not impossible that someone's spotted my UN. It does seem like more people are in need of this information than I thought, so I might delete my account instead


It's great to see people more willing to talk and ask about this stuff that previously. Particularly young men aren't likely to do that.


This is what the internet is actually great for. The embarrassing questions (well at least they eel that way when you're young.)


Yeah. Women also really usually try to keep this stuff reined in because talking about sex or your breasts or your pussy can lead to getting weird comments really fast, but I haven't gotten any, so that's very nice.


Yeah some people out there are a real pain. I didn't want to speak for women since I'm not one! Anyways, I'm pleasantly surprised about this thread.




This is where scarleteen might really help, because I don't experience what you're describing until after coming. If anything stops me physically, it's hand cramping. If you're new to masturbation, I'd just keep trying different kinds of stimulation (some girls have good luck riding pillows or self-fingering etc. Never did jack for me). However, don't feel like you have to orgasm. The idea that all sex and all masturbation needs to end with coming is more of a porn thing than a real life thing. If it's not something that's burning a hole in you, you can resolve to take it up with a trusted partner when you do have sex.


I can relate to hand soreness. Feels like I’m giving myself arthritis.. but I can go multiple times a day, so I guess that’s the good part


If you're sensitive to direct touch, try indirect first...like gently rubbing through your panties or even rubbing the outside of your labia and apply gentle pressure. Not everyone goes straight for clit stimulation or vaginal penetration because those sensations can be really intense. If you do go for more direct stimulation, a good water-based lube will reduce friction and can make the sensation more pleasant. Personally, I actually prefer masturbating with lube even when I get naturally wet.


One piece of advice: stimulate AROUND your clit. Direct clit stimulation is way too intense for me, so going around works much better. Try different ways to create a little friction and “dampen” the intensity. Rubbing on top of panties can help (although if you do it too long, it can cause discomfort later), shower heads on a softer setting, rubbing on your outer labia, etc. just experiment!


I double down on your comment. My clit is way too sensitive to be stimulating on it, so I go around because the feeling is bearable enough for me to not make me stop


I had my first orgasm at like 12 when I read a cosmopolitan magazine article called 100 ways to reach the big O. The one I chose was to position my lady bits under the bathtub faucet and "wait." I had no idea what would happen. Once it came I was in love and that started me on a magical, kinda gross, definitely cringey journey of preteen horniness. I recommend. You'll know when you've accomplished an orgasm because it will feel very intense right after so much that you won't want any more stimulation.


we def read the same article and had the same first orgasm lol


Direct stimulation can be uncomfortable for me too, so I rarely cum that way. As mentioned by other comments, riding pillows has worked, or a handheld shower.


Also, the point of masturbating is to feel good. It's supposed to feel good, that's the entire point of it :D


Kinda OOT, I hope you (or other women) can answer: I'm a gay guy, and a lot of us like anal sex because we have the male prostate; but since it doesn't exist in ciswomen. So is anal sex for women pleasurable only mentally, not physically?


The clitoris is a much bigger organ than its visible part - it has two long ”roots” that go pretty much around the vaginal tunnel, and also have vestibular bulbs (which feel like testicles) attached to them. It really depends on the person, but there’s little between the rectum and the vagina, so what can be felt in the other can possibly be felt in the other. But there are mental aspects to it too, of course, and people have erogenous zones in varying places other than their sex organs.


Speaking as a cis woman, absolutely not, there’s a different sense of fullness that many women enjoy. It’s also worth keeping in mind that since the vaginal canal runs alongside the anal cavity, if anal is combined with a toy for double penetration it can feel very different and really good because of how the pressure And s stimulation is in a different spot. I know a few women who can only achieve orgasm this way.


No, anal can also be pleasurable physically. For me, the best is when they guy has a nice length and can stimulate my g spot, through the thin wall between my anus and vagina


It can indeed be very pleasurable! One theory is that it's because the clitoris extends inwards and around the vagina down to the rectum, and gets stimulated by the penis "from the back".


Is that where the term "im wet" come from?


The term 'I'm wet' comes from the increased lubrication that occurs inside the vagina during arousal. It's independent of any orgasms that may or may not happen afterwards. 'I'm wet' means 'I'm sexually aroused'.


It's less of a term, and more an accurate statement of what's going on. But yeah, we get wet.


Not everybody gets wet, I can be horny as heck and be dry down there


Please also note that a woman being wet, referring to her vulva having fluids, doesn’t always means that she’s aroused. The vagina cleans itself and its surroundings constantly and some women are wet almost all the time because of “cleaning fluids”.


It's the female equivalent of having a boner


Ye olde lady boner


Like there is an actual gush of fluid associated with the orgasm?? Damn! Like enough that the boy could tell? Or does the fluid just build up during the stimulation rather than there being an actual gush at the point of orgasm


The second. The muscle contractions that happen during orgasm will push some accumulated wetness out, but not like ejaculation.


For me it's the latter. Not sure about other women.


>It doesn't shoot or squirt or gush out for most ladies No gush for most, as I said. Think about it like the same way as your mouth watering; you might drool but at no point does a torrent or stream of spit come out your mouth. And yeah, enough that it's noticable. As for the other question, both. Fluid releases while stimulating (it can actually be an annoyance, as in if things get too slippery it can be hard to get a grip LOL) + extra release of fluid during orgasm (if things weren't slippery before, they sure are now)


There sometimes appears this rare wierd effect with drool that it gushes out from under the tongue, I'm pretty sure some people can relate. I think it's called Gleek


The mouth equivalent to squirting in this thread


You can actually squirt saliva if you are hungry enough and get enough simulaton (like a scent while hungry)


Can confirm


Most important thing here is that it’ll usually be different every time. There is no “one way” a person will come just like with men. Sometimes there’ll be a few drops, sometimes you’ll break free throw records. It’s also not necessarily a measure for “how good” the sex was. A lot of woman shaming can come from those misconceptions.


Very rare for it to gush out, but that’s what it’s like for me in the right situation. Only happens when it’s veeeeerrry good and specifically with G-spot stimulation


In my travels Ive met one woman who could do it consistently. It took work. Was totally worth it.


Actually some men can indeed tell by not only the tightening on the muscle whilist inside, but also feel more of the liquid coming out at the point of climax.


At the end, then the orgasm starts before the fluid moves - the friction of it feels incredible then it peaks with waves through the Lower body


I gush it 50% of the time. Just depends. I think it has to do with where I cum. If it's clitoral it doesn't happen. Internal orgasims usually always make a mess.


I definitely get very wet prior to orgasm but during orgasm there is a larger quantity of fluid all at once. Not like a dripping everywhere amount, but noticeable to me and somewhat to my partner. Then there’s squirting, which is different and isn’t an orgasm in and of itself. Some women squirt during orgasm though. Squirt is a mixture of seminal fluid and essentially extra watery pee. It typically happens when there is pressure on the g-spot and then that pressure is released.


what about creamers and squirters is that a real thing


i've witnessed creaming with my own eyes but i don't know why it happens sometimes and regular wetness the other times ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯ but both can happen. doesnt necessarily mean *everyone* will experience it or can make it happen though i will say creaming is much rarer tho


This probably has more to do with a woman’s hormone cycle! The texture and quantity of the vaginal wetness changes the closer she is to ovulation or a period. Creamy = getting ready to ovulate Slippery, egg-white = ovulation, prime semen catching fluid Sticky/drier= about to ditch that unfertalized egg


30F, I just want to add in since a lot of the comments are involving the clit, I don't see anyone mentioning nipples. The first time I had an orgasm with a partner was from purely nipple stimulation. It took longer, but they are an important part of my overall experience. I'm sure the sensitivity of nipples varies just like everything else, but for me it feels just as good as the clit.


Some people also get something called sad nipple syndrome in which nipple stimulation makes them feel feelings of sadness, wistfulness, and desolation. No lie, it’s a real thing, just no one ever talks about it. I thought I was crazy for years until another woman mentioned it online. For me I feel really sad, almost like being extremely homesick, and it also makes me want to go swimming for some reason (no idea wtf that’s about lol). So... yeah, just ask your partner what they like before you do it. That’s a good rule for pretty much anything sexual. A turn on for one person can be a turn off for another.


Definitely the first time I've ever heard of that. That's wild! I wonder if its related to being in the womb somehow. Being Homesick. Being in fluid.


There’s been studies done with mothers who feel the same thing after breastfeeding, I believe, and it’s thought to be related to a temporary reduction in dopamine.


I’m the same. Gotta get the nips involved


All the people answering seem to be men who are talking from their own experience. I'm ofcourse not saying it's wrong or that they can't know the answer, but I recommend going to a place like r/askwomen since you're asking about women. Obviously there are also women who don't know much about how their bodies work, but I still think it would be a lot better place to ask to get more informed answer


I'll add that the wiki on [female ejaculation](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Female_ejaculation) is full of information (or at the very least, documents the ongoing debate in the scientific literature on the how and what).


Just want to add that most women do not ejaculate when they come. There is extra wetness involved right after climaxing, which is a fluid that comes from the vagina. It is a bit similar to a milky white gel moisturizer in terms of consistency, only in a warmer body temperature. I’m 32F and squirting only happened a couple of times in my life. Normally when I orgasm it feels like a lot of warmth travels through my body starting from my underbelly and vagina. That takes a couple of seconds, and right after that I’m just fully relaxed and very wet. I can come from penetration, but (of course) only when I’m super horny, and it’s easiest for me when I’m on top. Takes me anywhere from 5-10 minutes. For me it’s easiest to come using one of those air pressure toys you use on the clitoris (I have the Satisfyer Pro), sometimes in under two minutes.


Oooh what are air pressure toys?


Look up the womanizer or similar toy. It basically sucks you off at the clitoris. 10/10 everyone with a clitoris should try it.


[https://www.amazon.com/Satisfyer-Generation-Air-Pulse-Clitoris-Stimulator/dp/B071CPR2V4](https://www.amazon.de/Satisfyer-Klitoris-Sauger-Intensit%C3%A4tsstufen-Auflege-Vibrator-Akku-Technik/dp/B071CPR2V4) ah sorry i'm not good at explaining it because my english isnt that good and it's kinda hard to explain ':D but i will try, basically you put the head on the clit and the device quickly changes the air pressure which causes the clit to 'flutter' and that stimulates it without actually touching it


Okay female here (24)! As I can see a lot of guys replied which is better than nothing, and they got a lot of the stuff right but I'll just add a bit. I assume most females takes longer to come than men. Maybe around 5-10 minutes on a good day and 15-20 minutes on a bad day. When masturbating there is fliuds coming out of the vagina that acts as lubrication when having sex. I saw some guys here calls it pussy juice. Only really rare times (which also varies from girl to girl) the orgams can have a ejaculation in shape of more fluids, also called squrting. A female orgams is normally around 10 sec give or take (I counted once) and it is possible for a female to come more than once if she keeps masturbating. A friend of mine came 6 times in a row, yes girls also shares mastubation stories. Hope this helped. Otherwise throw a comment and will answer.


27 F, everything here is correct. I can't remember the percentages, but a majority of women require clitoral stimulation to orgasm, few can cum from pure penetration. As for multiple orgasms, it's is possible but most people I know need a cool down period as things become ultra sensitive after orgasm.


That's true the cool down period is very importan and the clit even more important.


Ok, ignorant question from a fellow female... My orgasms can last 30-60 seconds. Am I actually getting multiples on a regular basis? I didn't know other women's were so short!


Mine definitely last that long. I usually get a "big one" that is the toe-curler lasting a few seconds, but then the aftershocks last a minute or longer, eventually tapering off.


Yes! That's pretty much how I'd describe mine. There isn't ever a solid ending, it just sort of fades after a while or I get overly sensitive


That sounds really long to me, lol! I think it just depends on the person, there's no one correct answer here.


That pretty amazing! Maybe it's more than one? Either way sounds wonderful!


Just wanted to note that squirting isn't necessarily tied to orgasming, I'm sure they can happen at the same time, but all the squirting I've dealt with happened seperate from an orgasm.


27F late to the party but just wanted to throw my 2 cents in. When me and my boyfriend have sex I don't always cum, but he can keep me in the state right before cuming for a while, and its like 85% of the awesomeness of cuming. He can still get bummed out if he doesn't get me there, but honestly I prefer 85% of the feeling for a min and a half over 2 sec of actual climax. As for what comes out, I rarely squirt and it isn't really a great indicator, I can squirt when not cumming and overall its meh. When I do cum I usually release a lot of lubrication, and have already been doing so, but some people are pretty dry. I have a friend who can't make anything happen without lube because she bearly gets wet even when very turned on. Just listen to your partner and work together.


Woman here. All of this is valid for me only, everyone is different. When I masturbate I orgasm in a minute or so, extremely fast. This is because I know exactly what I like, which is wet fingers massaging my entire genital area including (but definitely not only) my clit. This kind of orgasm is a very quick good feeling and is over very fast so I often do it two or three times in a row. Orgasming from sex can last longer but it's also never longer than like 4 seconds? And getting there, for me, depends on two things that are equally important: how hot the situation is and how much the other person's body is banging on my clit. So missionary can be romantic but my clit is getting mushed a lot so I climax fast, and doggy style my clit isn't getting any attention but the whole thing is so hot and there's moans and all that so I can also climax. This is why communication is very important, if a woman can't climax if her clit isn't being banged on then you should work together on choosing positions where your private parts bang together haha Cumming is a whole another thing. I won't comment much on it because for me it's not directly related to pleasure. Sometimes when I'm penetrated at an angle or something, I don't know the exact trick, there's a lot of fluid released and quite frankly it's just messy. It's hot for a minute but then it's just annoying to clean up haha


Every woman is different, so my advice is to just ask your girlfriend what she likes. She probably knows best. And I know I prefer it if a man just asks, instead of assuming he knows best. Just be gentle. Our nipples and clits are not radio buttons and our volume does not go up (or down) the more you twist and turn them. As for how long it takes, that all depends. It can go really fast and the second and third time even faster (yes, we are multiorgasmic), but if you're just not that into it, it can take a bit longer, although in my experience, it can be more satisfying when you then do finally orgasm.


OK. Here we go. For a lot of women, most orgasms are clitoral. The clitoris is a bump at the top on the inside of the labia. It is a bundle of nerves that is very sensitive, much like the head of the penis. Stimulation through intercourse, with your hands or mouth, is quite nice. Sometimes it takes a while to get the angle right with intercourse, at least in my experience. It's all about how turned on you are, how into the moment you are and how much your partner wants to work with you to make it happen. If you're a guy, please don't be that guy who just gets himself off and trusts that she enjoyed it as much as you did. Communicate. Help her feel comfortable enough with you to tell you what she likes, then do it! I hope this helped. Hang in there. There are lots of resources online to help you figure things out, but don't look at porn as an education tool. Those are paid actresses for the most part who may or may not actually get off.


The absolute most important part of sex is clear consent and communication. Ask your partner(s) what they specifically like and dont like, if they're comfortable showing you that can be helpful for both of you and if they don't know they can find that out whether they want to with you or on their own. Make sure check in regularly; "do you like this?" "would you like if i did this?" "is this okay?" etc. Always no matter what do not initiate anything or continue if you havent gotten a clear yes Now for anatomy, all the parts as a whole is called the vulva, the hole itself is the vagina, and the clitoris the small nub part at the top which for some people is covered mostly covered by the clitoral hood. People with vulvas can't "cum" in the way that people with penises do, noting comes out, but we can orgasm, a lot of people just call it cumming. Most people, around 70-80% can't orgasm from penetration, or at least not penetration alone, and need clitoral stimulation also, that doesnt mean penetration doesn't feel good though, most of us like it but just can't reach that high point with only penetration. Most of us also don't like things very hard or fast at the beginning and need time to sort of warm up, but everyone is different. Most of the time when we're stimulated we get wet, our vaginas naturally produce lubricant, but some peoples bodies dont produce enough and most people have periods of time where their bodies dont produce enough so sometimes extra lubrication is needed and sometimes its isn't. As for how long it takes to orgasm it really depends on the person, for some it only takes a few minutes and for others it can take an hour or more and some people cant always orgasm (still feels good, just cant reach the high point) but on average it takes around 20-40 minutes for most people with vulvas, a lot of us can also orgasm multiple times. For a lot of people with vulvas being in the right headspace is very important (this is true for most people in general, but mood tends to be a little more important to people with vulvas on average) being comfortable and relaxed is nessicary for a lot of us, just make sure to communicate with partners And absolutely never try to learn anything from porn, it's like trying to learn to fight from an action movie If you want resources for sex education that are easy to digest i would reccomend watching Hannah Witton on youtube [https://www.youtube.com/hannahwitton/featured](https://www.youtube.com/hannahwitton/featured) Specifically these videos might be a good place to start: [https://youtu.be/XDOS6TwbPAc](https://youtu.be/XDOS6TwbPAc) [https://youtu.be/FuQzQxL\_y9g](https://youtu.be/FuQzQxL_y9g) [https://youtu.be/aJmdds\_tMsE](https://youtu.be/aJmdds_tMsE) [https://youtu.be/w5\_Qzzq14LA](https://youtu.be/w5_Qzzq14LA) https://youtu.be/qnmqPMfJCAs I would also reccomend looking through r/SexPositive I'm so glad you're asking people instead of going off of just what your sex ed says, so thank you!


As a 32 year old male who was raised in the very conservative south, I don't even know this. I'm only answering to say good on you for asking dude. I would not have been able to when I was your age.


This video should help :) https://youtu.be/lzngn1ZPr4k The channel “sexplanations” will answer pretty much any question you could ever ask about sex haha. I’m 19M and was in the same situation as you. I didn’t even know about my own anatomy fully.


Dr. Doe is the best!




Mate I'm 23m and I have no idea, I can tell you something tho, every woman is different, even if just on the slightest, so my advice is "don't be afraid to ask them directly".


Please do ask her to show you how to stimulate her CLITORIS which may have very little to do with penis penitration. The clit is where women find orgasm. If you pay attention to that, perhaps exploring together, you will be sure to satisfy. THANK YOU, friend, for caring to educate yourself.


This is a very informative Instagram account celebrating the vulva https://instagram.com/the.vulva.gallery?utm_medium=copy_link


Since im going to assume you still havent got with a girl, well, you first need to warm up, some cuddling, some ear play, kisses on the neck, hands just exploring the body, then its like a dance. Do no be aggressive, and continue the warm up, you can do oral, its almost like making out with her mouth, but down there. Once you feel like the girl is wet, shes ready. Most women, dont cum if thye arent warmed up, we need it, and we need the wetness, specially to be easier for the sex. Most women dont cum during sex, some may cum better through rubbing the clit, others from fingering, you just need to be vocal about it. Cumming also depends on how horny/wet and what the other person is doing, you need to start slowly then go harder, but not brute. Its ok if you tried and we didnt cum, its actually quicker for us to cum, around 10min or so. Usually nothing really comes out, most likely stuff drips, like our wetness, maybe some white thing which is cervix muc may come out. I dont believe in squirting, much more you get extremely wet, i never heard of anything just squirting out unless its from porn.


One thing I see a lot of people forgot to mention is that women need foreplay. Women are turned on more by mental stimulation, rather than just eye candy, so kissing, touching, grinding, all of that is good, thou ask her what she likes or wants. It also makes it go smoother. There no such thing as being "tight"or "loose" the vaginia is a muscle that can stretch to accommodate a baby and then shrink back to it's normal size with some healing. A dick is nothing, but if she feels way too tight and dry, she not turned on enough, vs if it has a bit more give, for lack of better warning, and wet, that good. And it's always somewhat damp, but if it feels really wet then shes probably turned on enough. Lube also makes the job easier and better for everyone


Mid 30s Female here. >How do girls cum? Personally...through clitorial stimulation mainly, though through penetration (fingers) on a handful of occasions. Penis in vagina (Piv) orgasms are nonexistent or rare for lots of women. For clitorial stimulation, it involves rubbing (or licking) the clit area (both directly the clit and around the clit). With enough stimulation, blood and pressure build up in the clit, causing it to enlarge and then eventually the climax happens (usually lasts for less than five seconds). Orgasms can be more intense if the orgasm is delayed including thru what’s called “edging” (almost climaxing and then stopping, calming down and then starting again). Less intense orgasms are nice too and are the result of a quicker stimulation period. >What comes out and how long does it take for them to cum? Just wetness. Very wet. In the case of penetration, there can be an rush or flood of fluid (squirting). I echo the other posters on checking out some online sex education resources. Good luck.


As far as how long it takes, it varies wildly. As a woman I’d always expected that it would take partners a while to get me there because that’s kind of the common trope, but it can be as quick as it is for a man.


Howdy! It’s normal and great you are asking questions about this. The time it takes a woman to climax is very personal ti her and her partner(s). I’ve experienced women who can climax in 3 minutes and some that struggle each time. There is no clear cut answer to this question. Most women climax when clitoral stimulation. There is growing evidence that even vagionial stimulation is just from nerves from the clit.


Well done for asking, I commend your bravery and curiousity.