If bread is Jesus’ body, and wine is Jesus’ blood, does that mean that raisin bread is an entire Jesus?
By - Babybluemoon13
But if raisins are dried grapes, and wine is made from fermented grape juice... wouldn't raisins be more like Jesus' desiccated bone marrow?
Jesus beef jerky
I will allow it.
“Owww.. i was gonna eat that mummy”
SEE YOURE ONTO SOMETHING HERE
We can rebuild him.
Yeast made him rise.
Rises in the yeast
Yeast? I thought you said weast
Diane weast infection
\*stares blankly for like a full minute\*
Rising was the yeast of his problems.
Came out of the tomb — three days later, saw his shadow, predicted six more weeks of winter.
He has risen on Yeaster.
If you die on the crust, yeast will rise again
We’re all dying. Act accordingly.
That’s what I call Mabon, lol
Hot Cross Buns!
And the grape let out a little whine
Some say he's still raisin
It’s basically two-in-one shampoo and conditioner but for Jesus.
New improved formula Head & Crucifix also treats dandruff for the holy trinity of hair care.
More like bread and shoulders
BREAD AND SHOULDERS. I’m deader than Jesus.
Need that Jesus look? Try Shred and Boulders.
Or better yet Cross Fit
This is a great joke. I hope you get some upvotes for visibility
This made me laugh so hard 🤣🤣🤣
Que Steve Rodgers “I understood that reference” clip
Now I want to start finding Bible verses and replace every instance of "Jesus" or "Christ" with "raisin bread" to see how much more fun it makes them.
Croissants 1:17 is my favourite Bible verse
I feel like a whole can of questions has been opened….. Is Raisin Bread the Son of Raisin Bread? Is Hell a toaster? Would the Holy Spirit be butter or margarine?
Is there any answers in the Good (Cook)Book about this?
Margarine is the work of Satan. That much I do know!
I like the idea of toaster hell
I prefer croissants 24:7
I definitely have made croissants and told them after rising (yes I talk to my dough) Croissants have gone, croissants have risen, croissants will come again
Raisin Bread makes everything much more fun.
My brain is now singing "Raisin Bread, Super Star, do you think you are what they say you are..."
Please join in if you know the showtune!
Every time I eat you, I don't understand,
How you let the yeast in you get so out of hand.
You'd have tasted better if you added some bran,
Why so much flour, and grapes all tired,
with crust that's like sand.
"I don't know how to leven him..."
So I'm going down a YouTube rabbit hole on religion and I end up watching a crazy video that says "washing feet" was basically code for sucking dick (there were several other code phrases, but this one stuck in my head). There is a lot of feet washing in the Bible... really changes it up.
The look on my Catholic mother's face when I told her...she didn't find it funny.
Suddenly that Netflix movie about gay Jesus makes WAY more sense...
Gay Jesus? This i haven't seen. Is it satire? Serious?
Yeah, it's a comedy called The First Temptation of Christ. It got a lot of press shortly after it came out because Christians were VERY upset. I think the movie was even banned in a few countries (Brazil being one, IIRC.)
"Banned"? That's just code for "add it to my watchlist"!!
I was kinda hoping for a serious documentary, about the theory of Jesus and John and Paul were in a love triangle, but this also sounds good. Thanks knuckles
Lol, that is a documentary I would watch!
I'm going to call it "Threes Company, the prequel"
You will get a producer credit
Hell, I'll come act in it for you - that's a hysterical premise! I love the idea of a ludicrous premise being played completely straight (pun intended.)
I encourage method acting, so from today till end of filming, you are JESUS! Start working on your beard and tan.
"Massaging someone's feet and sticking your tongue in the holiest of holies ain't the same ball park. It ain't even the same fuckin' sport."
"For we are all one in raisin bread..."
“Wherefore God also hath highly exalted him, and given him a name which is above every name: That at the name of Raisin Bread every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Raisin Bread is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”
And THAT is the Bible I want to read!
I’d unironically read it in its entirety if someone actually made that
I mean I guess technically if a priest did the whole transubstantiation song and dance over the raisin bread, sure. As others have pointed out, bread and wine are not automatically the body and blood of christ — they only become the body and blood of christ during the communion ritual (formally known as the liturgy of the eucharist, I believe. But it's been a long time since Catholic school, so I may be wrong about the name.)
Of course, this only holds for Catholicism (and maybe some of the Orthodox churches? I'm not very familiar with their dogma). Protestants don't believe the bread and wine are actually the body and blood of Christ. They believe the bread and wine are more like symbolic vessels, whereas Catholics believe the bread and wine actually transform into his body and blood. Very metal.
Upvoting for taking the question seriously and actually answering the question.
Correction: Lutherans have a very strong theology of the real presence of Christ--the bread and wine really are the body and blood of Christ. The position could be defined as consubstantiation, but it's not called that. Anglicans also have a theology of the real presence.
Out from there some Reformed traditions believe in a spiritual presence of the body and blood. THEN you get to the traditions that treat it as just a memorial or symbolic meal, no body and blood included.
Good to know! I learned everything I know about Protestant theology in Catholic school - so not a big shock to me that they weren't 100% accurate in their portrayals.
I went to a certain denomination's religious school. Oh the things we were taught about Catholics...
Devout Catholic here - raisin bread actually wouldn't hold for Catholicism, since the bread (that will become the Body of Christ) is required to be unleavened bread\*, made from only water and wheat, and the wine (that will become the Blood of Christ) must be wine made from grapes (no weird apple or blackberry wines here).
\*I'm Roman Rite, so if there are any Eastern Rite here, I'm sorry, I know y'all use leavened bread, I don't know the requirements for that bread
Catholicism steers away from using the word transform when talking about transubsantiation because the form does not change, the substance does, hence tran-\*substantiate\*. The original uses of the words come from the Aristotelian distinction between 'essential' and 'accidental' properties of things. Think of essential as *essence*. The essential substance of things are different from what they incidentally, or *accidentally* are. A car can be made of metal, but that is accidental to it being a car. For example, it is still a car regardless of the material.
It is often erroneously claimed that Catholicism teaches if you took consecrated bread and put it under a microscope, it would be real flesh. That is not official teaching and supports what I mean about it *not* transforming. In fact, that is part of the definition of transubstantiation..the substance changes and \*not\* the form or else it would be transformation. I hope this helps.
Last Catholic school/church experiences were about 1989 but this all sounds about right. My bff was Lutheran and I remember their communion was fresh bread cubes and individual wine cups the size of a thimble. Way cooler than flat sticky host and backwash wine.
Lmao yeah I always did a "thanks but no thanks" when they offered me the wine cup. All those people putting their lips on that thing???? Not so sure the holy spirit was gonna protect me from whatever nasty germs they were carrying.
This could be a solution to Biden’s Communion problem. If can he hire a priest to be White House Chef and have him make raisin bread-toast for breakfast…
If Biden can convince a priest to be his personal chef then he can also convince a priest to give him the normal communion.
And Biden can convince a priest to give him communion, so I don’t know that he has a communion problem in the first place.
I'm here for the jokes, but in all seriousness it's been a news topic actually, rumors of suspending his communion privileges because he is supporting freedom of choice for women's reproduction.
There are a lot of people talking about how Biden *should* be denied communion, but the person with the power to actually make it happen is the archbishop of Washington, cardinal Wilton Gregory (and the pope, technically). And Cardinal Gregory has gone on record saying that he won’t do it, so it’s not going to happen.
Nice, thanks for that info. I figured the Pope would have something to say if they went that far anyhow.
That is because Catholic dogma recognizes no such freedom.
As has become a common refrain, it’s a private organization so they can do what they want.
Everyone just gets a bowl of Raisin Bran from now on. But no milk. Okay, no bowls. They get plastic bags like my toddler. It’ll be great.
The catholic church can go fuck itself for that one. I'm not catholic, but I know biden is fairly devout. I guess the church gets to throw the first stone. Oh by the way, sounds like unless you are a catholic disciple and believe 100% of what they tell you too, you don't get to eat Jesus.
The Catholic Church did not prevent Biden from receiving the Holy Communion. In fact, the bishop who'd be responsible for such a thing said the opposite - that he will continue giving President Biden the Holy Communion. The one person who can override that decision is the Pope himself, and he has some more important matters to do.
I don't think it's silly. I think you might be onto something here.
You must first judge the raisin bread, torture it and nail it to the cross. Toasted with jam and butter, it is very tasty.
If the priest performed the transmutation ceremony on the raisin bread, it would be an entire Jesus...but you are still going to hell for putting raisins in bread.
''Allrighty, let's see here.. Pretty good record. Never murdered anyone, that's good. Never coveted another man's wife. Excellent! Always cheered for the Yahwee team, great!
Allright, looks like you're all set to en..
Hoooool'up. Says here you put raisins in bread?! You vile, despicable creature you! Is this your idea of some kind of sick joke?! Down to hell with you! ''
I think you’re on to something. The Church should just have Irish soda bread at mass and bless that for communion. Like a 2 for 1 deal.
I'm Catholic but soda bread with raisins would make so much tastier eucharist. I'm 100% down with that.
The bread can't have leavening of any sort. It would have to be without soda. But maybe wine instead of water in the recipe would work
Alright now we’re talking! I’m just the ideas guy, it’s up to you people to workshop it
Also applies to BP&J if the J is grape.
What about the white Wine?
The Lord's piss.
Yes, praise raisin bread jeebus
There was a post a WHILE ago about this same topic, where the person’s church would have a different person bake the bread for the Eucharist every week
One week a woman brought in raisin bread, so while the priest was blessing the bread he said, “this—except the raisins—is the body of Christ!”
raisins arent wine.
he didnt say grapes are his blood, but rather the fermented fun juice.
if you were to take a fruitcake and soak it in fortified wine instead of rum, youd ve closer. but still wrong because you need to use unleavened bread (no yeast, not very fluffy).
sorry to ruin your dreams and/or joke punchline
Hey, it’s no problem, and I thank you for answering! I wanted to ask cause it was funny, and I thought maybe I might get some neat input amongst jokes! And honestly, I just thank you for being kind, like the others commenting. I was worried there was gonna be a lot of negative comments, so I’m not mad about being told I’m wrong. And hey: there’s an unleavened Christmas dessert called Beerawecka, which is like an unleavened fruitcake with the fruits being macerated in alcohol, which can include wine.
thrn that dessert sounds like a very good accomplishment of your post's goal lol
"Who the fuck starts a conversation like that, I just sat down!"
Post this to r/showerthoughts
I'm a Catholic, and technically, no. If you want to jokingly say that to someone, I, for one, wouldn't be offended (other's might though, so take my comment with a grain of salt ;) ).
If you want the "actual" reason, Jesus's body (the bread) is complete Communion. So is His Blood (the wine). If you have them together it's a fuller (? words are hard) experience, but just having His Body (because of Covid not letting His Blood be brought back, for example) is okay, or just having His Blood if you have gluten sensitivities and your church doesn't provide another option, is fine.
If any other Christians want to correct me on anything I said wrong, please go ahead! I want my mistakes fixed sooner rather then later.
I have serious questions with absurd examples. Who makes the strict rules? What if a priest transubstantiated, say, some nacho cheese Doritos and a Mountain Dew Code Red? Is it not possible to transubstantiate other things or is it just frowned upon?
The funny thing is, it’s all made up nonsense
Ah yes what a high IQ person. You've astounded all us peasants with your superior brain /s
The answer to that is 2000 years of debate, discussion, and ecumenical councils. For example, one of the notable differences between Catholic and Orthodox is that Catholics use unleavened bread while Orthodox use leavened. Both have their theological reasons but another factor is that the Catholic Western Europe did not have the climate to keep leavened bread fresh enough before communion at mass. If a Catholic or Orthodox priest were to use the food you stated they’d likely be labeled as heretics
Maybe a shipwrecked last rites kinda thing?
Nah, this is a great explanation.
If you can amplify the experience, wouldn’t it be best to eat a tray of wafers and drink a bottle of wine?
OMFG Here we go with gluten-free communion, vegan communion and let's not forget LGBTQ+ communion; can we arrange Whiskas wafers for my cat too?
No. Raisins are not wine.
What if it was wine jello in the bread tho.
What if the raisins are fermented?
No. Fermented raisins, in and of themselves, are not wine.
I cracked up at this lol
I laugh-cried and am still having residual guffaws
My new favorite term for a failed snort laugh
Source: i am catholic and see no flaw in this logic
Well you are wrong but it would make communion easier.
He Is Raisin
Transubstantiation is the word. The "miracle" of communion is that, because the wine and bread have been blessed, they are "bits of Jesus" by faith and the act of participating. What it's made of has nothing to do with it.
Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the middle age
I for one trust the man in the pointy fancy hat. You don't wear a pointy fancy hat like that and not know this stuff after all.
He knows a lot about gold. Not so much about being charitable...
The Son rises in the yeast.
That's about 4 leavens of pun. I salute you.
Look, if reciting a memorized incantation and proxy consuming the flesh and blood of a demigod then chanting repetitive orations in low tones isn't the way that the universe intended you to worship I don't know what is right anymore.
Edit... /S for good measure
No. Here's why; wine is grape juice, without the grape. A raisin is the grape without the juice.
It does beg the question though, if you made the bread with grape juice would it be?
There is plenty of bread recipes which include wine in the yeast starter. And thank you, I appreciate your input, mate!!☺️
There already exists an "entire Jesus" - it's the thing you get during communion (at least in the Orthodox Religion).
Also, religiously speaking, not all bread and all wine is the body of Christ respectively the blood of Christ. It needs to get through the specific liturgical rituals preformed during church service before they get "turned into" the "Body and Blood of Christ".
So the answer would be: no
##**Raisins are the devil.**
Not a silly question but a silly concept: Transsubstantiation.
You can only believe it, not understand.
These are the questions we should be asking people.
You mad genius
Why would you say something so controversial yet so true
Lmao an entire jesus
You should say this on r/Showerthoughts
I wouldn't touch the Mayo, meatballs or sausage at the last supper.
Raisin bread is still the body of christ. But he got diabetic...
No, it makes Jesus' body with his blood.
It's not just any wine but Comunion wine or wine or bread that was blessed by the priest or pastor etc, in a church or place of worship. Pretty sure the bread and wine has to be blessed first to count so like not any bread and wine you buy from Tesco or ASDA will count as the body and blood of Christ, lol. I am not a Christian anymore though I was raised as one and my parents are still believers so I know about this stuff. Attended some communions and whatnot in the past. Though comunion wine tastes horrible and possibly is responsible for making me not like wine as an adult now.
I can't speak on behalf of all Christian Traditions but pretty much any Sacramental/Liturgical tradition would consider that invalid for Holy Eucharist (though it may be acceptable in emergency situations)
yes, but it's a dehydrated version. toast with grape jelly is Jesus after a tanning session.
Think he was just having a dig at Judas for ratting him out.
"Why don't you eat my meat and drink my blood you ungrateful bastard"
Not sure if this is a meme question, and I hope this sub doesn't follow the same road as r/askreddit did.
But no, if you've been to a Christian mass, the priest blesses the wine and bread to "become" Jesus's body and bread, which is literally the entire point of the mass.
Funny question haha
From Catholic perspective I can tell you that the body alone and the wine alone are entire Jesus :)
This should be on /r/ShowerThoughts rather than TooAfraidToAsk.
From a theological perspective, it would depend on what you would consider bread that is appropriate to consecrate. But that gets into one of the arguments that caused the Great Schism 1000 years ago so I’m not going to get into that
I don't know, what was you motivation and inspiration, man, but you hit the jackpot. To be precise, entire Jesus is present in both Bread and Wine, together and separately.
But raisin bread is very often theme in the Bible, especially in Old Testament. In the Song of Songs this is what the beloved woman asks for because she's "sick of love". So this is a symbol of love that invigorates. And this is really, really great picture of Jesus - the love that invigorates.
Similarly in the 2nd Book of Samuel - after bringing back the Ark of the Covenant to Jerusalem King David treat the Jews who joined him in the march with the raisin bread. So also - the love that invigorates.
So, YES! The raisin bread is an entire Jesus. The love that invigorates!!! You opened my mind with this raisin bread. Thank you! Praise the Lord!
Lol I love this questions. I’m not religious at all so that’s exactly what it means to me. Comparing a storybook character to food items and little more than that. Guess it’s probably a different answer for religious folks.
Nah. It just means all Catholics are cannibals.
In Catholicism each sacrament consist of a form and matter. The matter in this case would bread and wine. To answer your question I would say you need to ask what constitutes wine. According to teaching, there must be a certain amount of alcohol in the grape wine for it to be considered wine. Raisins do not consist of any alcoholic content and therefore are not, in essence, wine. Therefore, if they were to be consecrated, it would only be Jesus’ body (assuming you the bread is unleavened). So your looking at a more or less A raisin pita Jesus Body at best.
Trivia, In the same logic if the precious blood were to be spilled on the ground, water is to be poured onto it, diluting it until it is “essentially” no longer wine and there for no longer the Precious Blood.
I can only speak for myself, but I don't believe in transubstantiation, and believe the bread and wine are only emblematic of Jesus and his sacrifice for us. So no bread is actually Jesus's body and no wine is actually his blood. We don't call it the Eucharist, we call the bread and wine "the emblems."
I only partake in “entire Jesus” if he comes with a cinnamon swirl.
Petition for the lord's supper to be replaced by raisin bread. Got it
It depends on the Christian. Protestants consider it a metaphor, while Catholics and Orthodox believe in transubstantiation, which means that the bread and the wine change their essence to God's body and blood, while still retaining their characteristics like texture or taste. And it's not the whole body, I heard something about miracles where the wafer changes into heart tissue. But I guess if you gathered enough Holy Communion, you could theoretically start Jesus Puzzle.
Hot cross buns!
Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against any among your packaging, but loaf your slices as yourself. I am the Holy Toast.
No, it would be the virgin Mary. Because the grapes are all shriveled up, it would be Jesus' mummy
That's a shower thought if I've ever seen one lol. But of course you aren't allowed to post anything remotely related to religion on r/showerthoughts.
So you're saying raisins are Jesus scabs?
If two plus two is four and five plus five is ten... What the hell is this
You have a bunch of joke comments here, but I will try to answer straight. First off, there is no single interpretation of what the Eucharist is across all Christian's denominations so I can't tell you that you're not going to go out and find some Christian sect that believes in the holiness of raisin bread, but I will say they're not mainstream.
First off, the Eucharist either be unleavened, or sometimes leavened, bread and either fermented grape wine or unfermented grape juice. Different sects of Christianity demand different things, some leave it more open for interpretation, some of them are quite strict as to what it can, or can't be. I'm going to just be calling at bread and wine from here on out, but understand that there are variations of what that means
When consumed during religious services there's really two endpoints of what you could be interpreting. The first is the viewpoint that when you are eating the bread and wine, you are eating bread and wine and that's it. Nothing has changed about the substances, it's bringing you closer to Jesus, but that there's nothing different about the bread and wine. It is different than other meals that you might have because it is directly in remembrance of the Last Supper, but there's nothing physically different about eating that versus anything else. That point of view would see raisin bread as raisin bread, and that's it. I suppose it could be used for communion, but it would be a little weird.
The other end of the spectrum, would be something more like what the Catholic Church believes where the bread and wine are changed, the technical word is transubstantiation, into the body and blood, soul and divinity, of Jesus himself. You do not actually see this change, the bread and wine retain their physical characteristics, or their accidents in theological terms, but they are substantially changed and no longer bread and wine. Curiously, both the bread and the wine separately are the whole Jesus. It's not that the bread is the body, and the wine is the blood, it is that each of them separately are the body and blood. If you go to church and have only bread, or only wine, you still receive the whole body and blood. On this end of the spectrum they tend to subscribe, fairly exactly, what is and what is not acceptable for communion. That said, in the event that there was an emergency and the only thing available was raisin bread, provided that rituals are carry out you would, in fact, be receiving the whole Jesus with raisin bread, but it's no different than receiving the whole Jesus with any other bread.
Theological debates, and different interpretations, get hard very quickly, and if there are many hairs that can be split in what is and isn't acceptable. I've also given you two of the more extreme endpoints. You may think one is right and one is wrong, you may think that both of them are wrong, but we need to be careful. People have thought about this, written about it, and debated it for a very long time. If it was so easy, that you could tell the truth, with my short description, and a little bit of "common sense" there would not be nearly that amount of debate.
I hope this clears up some things for you, if there's anything that you need help trying to understand, I will do my best to explain it further.
Also, just to reassure you, it's not a silly question. It's actually a really good question. It gets, it a very direct way, to what exactly is meant by the bread and wine in the celebration of the Eucharist, and to issues of what even is the bread and wine. People, in general, are often too quick to discard what may seem like a silly question without ever asking it. So thank you for asking, it was a really fun question to think about.
Then that means Cinnamon Raisin Bagels are the holiest form of all bread. Pun very much intended.
Lol they were so busy ruling people, they forgot to establish the lore.
Logic and religion don't go hand in hand :).
This is NOT a Christian question. Many Christians do not believe in transubstantiation.
Some sects will take everything in the Bible literally, except transubstantiation. Bonkers
It's an argument not worth getting into on reddit and really has never been solved. The sects that take the bible literally see what Jesus wrote as a metaphor not transubstantiation. So they still take it literally, they just don't believe he changed the bread into his body.
Omg who thinks like that, that is funny 😂😂
So what's milk?
I can only get through half of my Jesus loaf before it goes bad. Any recommendations?
Hey delete that shit before the NSA see it ! You're not supposed to know !
As Mary was a virgin, she would only have had X chromosomes. So where did she get the Y chromosome for Jesus? So either Mary wasn't a virgin, or Jesus was female.
You know you could get your head chopped off for asking such a question. Oh no, wait, never mind, wrong religion.
No, and you are incorrectly conflating "Catholic" with "Christian". You are describing the Catholic idea of 'transubstantiation'. There are protestant denominations which reject that idea and settle for the 'it is just a token to remind you of his body and of his blood' idea. I do like to have raisin toast for breakfast, and on Sunday morning as I eat my raisin toast and coffee I might think back to this post and smile.
Eastern Orthodox, Oriental Orthodox, Lutherans, Anglicans, Episcopalians, Presbyterians, and others I'm sure I'm forgetting also affirm the real presence of Christ in communion, in one way or another. It's way more than just a Catholic thing.
“Catholic isn’t Christian” get your century old KKK propaganda out of here!
Ok, catholic here, the bread and wine only become, christ's blood and body once they are consecrated. And since its more of an spiritual thing, its not going to become jesus, thank you.
You're not funny. 😶
You're not funny to me.*
You should post this on shower thoughts
Only if it is blessed
Raisin bread is the fried chicken of Jesus. You bathe an adult chicken in unborn chickens and flour.
Raised catholic, no longer practicing. I’m pretty sure it’s that all bread is not Jesus, just this specific bread (nasty wafer) that was blessed to signify Jesus. Same with the wine.