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“Ding Dong motherfucker”
"Let me tell you about Hatchet Harry. Once there was this geezer called Smithy Robinson, who worked for Harry. It was rumoured that he was on the take. Harry's invited Smithy round for explanation. Smithy didn't do a very good job. Within a minute, Harry's lost his rag. Reached out for the nearest thing at hand which happened to be a 15-inch black rubber \*\*\*\*. He's then proceeded to batter poor Smithy to death with it. Now, that was seen as a pleasant way to go, hence, Hatchet Harry is the man you pay if you owe."
Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels
You beat me to it, you limey bastard. Take my up vote and get wrecked
Damn beat me to it.
Oi! Keep your fingers out of my soup!
Direct by M. Night Shyamalama Dingdong.
Who is the man? I'd like to shake his hand!
>“Dong Dong motherfucker”
DONG DONG NEVER DIE
>>“Swing Dong motherfucker”
To anyone that says the pic for this person is bad it’s not a nazi swastika and it’s not racist
My respect to you for identifying it correctly.🙏
I think it was religious or something don’t remember
Used by Buddhists and Hindus. It's an ancient symbol and you see them all over the place in Korea.
Used religiously in Mongolia too. They had it way before the Nazis.
When I see them in Asia I think, “it’s hard for me to get past that but I know it has different meaning in the Far East. When I see them in the west, or online, I am not so generous with my understanding. Too high a chance to be misunderstood to be using that here.
Then please never go [here](https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/elephant-gate) and other places like it as they exist all over the west.
It's an ancient Sanskrit word called Swastika which means 'Well-Bieng'. This Swastik sign is symbol for divinity and spirituality used widely in Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism. People of these religions draw Swastika on their entrance door, wall and idol worshiping place. It also stands for good luck.
Just make sure you don't draw this symbol in Germany, cause of you know what, cause all of those symbols are illegal under German law even in video games, which is ridiculous lol.
Hindu, Buddhist and Jain use is exempt. Use in art is exempt. Usage in social media is generally exempt (actual promotion of Naziism is not; the symbol alone could be cultural, historical, critical or satirical; it's accompanying propaganda that can be criminal). The blanket ban in video games was imposed by an industry body, German Entertainment Software Self Regulation Body, not the government. It was lifted in 2018. Regardless, it's hardly ridiculous. Germans have proven that they have difficulty controlling their sociopathic, homicidal impulses, and some people, believe it or not, don't want want to be reminded of the horrific extermination of their parents, siblings, entire family and peoples while in the grocery store or playing Mario. Most human beings do not associate the Nazi swastika with amusement.
>Most human beings do not associate the Nazi swastika with amusement.
And where did you find me being amused about a Nazi swastika? Me ridiculing the idea of going that far to ban something from history, a symbol that was stolen by a radical political entity from a religion, yeha I find such things ridiculous as in stupid not amusing.
Rookie mistake. You never bring a knife to a cock fight.
that's a dick move
I thought it was pretty ballsy.
taint that the truth.
He WOOD think twice after this incident.
Yeah, he wouldn't wanna cock it up again
I hope he gets a good shafting when the police catch up with him.
or else you'll end up in a pretty hairy situation.
Upvoted to make this 420.
Must've been trying to come in the backdoor without asking first.
In other news that dildo is now circumcised
Why the fuck. Is that floor so wet.
Am I imagining this, or are they slipping all over the place?!
Better slippery than sticky in a sex shop.
It's just a matter of time
Keep in mind it is a sex toy shop. Cardi B did say bring a bucket and a mop
Macaroni in a pot?
That's some wet asspussy
Perry the platypus?
Your arrival is unexpected... And by that I mean COMPLETELY EXPECTED
This woman has a severe problem
If your aioli is dry, there's a problem.
That dildo sure looks like it can touch that dingly ding that’s in the back of the throat
I think you mean appendix lol
I know. It’s part of the song 🤣
I'm guessing freshly mopped?
*Activate the lube-slick!*
Wellll…… lube !
I heard it's actually a deterrent in a mall setting. Keep the floor slick and people can't run from you.
If the slick floors are at just the right angle with the stores at the bottom then consumers will be stuck, and forced to shop for the rest of their lives. Might be a little less subtle than most marketing techniques, though.
Because it's after hours and they've mopped the floor, and now they have time to stage this video.
It’s covered with lube.
That’s a dildo, yeah? Like a donkey dick dildo?
Think a double ended one for double the fun
Ass to ass
Dust to dust
Fade to black...
Hey, you. You’re finally awake.
Fade to brown?
Might leave in a body bag but never in cuffs
I legit just saw that scene in my head when I read that
Shit you got some eagle eyes
for bass to mouth!
Oh you sweet, summer child., Whatever you do, don't google "Bad Dragon Chance." Just don't do it.
Use duck duck go instead!
Police: Can you describe the robber?
Girl: Yes. He has dick shaped bruises.
Girl: Yes, at least 5 different sizes. All offer roughly the same levels of protection, with some important differences. The blue ones taste like a Bomb Pop, for example, while the clear ones are flavorless. This one here provides a numbing effect, which some especially tactically sensitive individuals appreciate. The purple ones on the left here are more oriented *for her pleasure*, as the expression goes. Slight rubbing on the outside, with numbing on the inside only. Slows him down and speeds her up, if you take my meaning.
Police: Ma'am, I asked about the *robber.*
Girl: Oh, my bad. Here's the security video.
Honestly he could probably get mailed for free with that Mushroom Stamp
Remember switching to your dildo is faster then reloading
LOL underrated comment!
Wasn't this found to have been staged?
She turns her back on him before the door closes, doesn't lock the door after she gets him outside, doesn't look back once to make sure he didn't coming back in
And both the robber and clerk just seemed way too casual when running. I get the floor is slippery, but how he ran away and how she chased him, it seemed like they were trying to cause as little damage to the store as possible
She did give him a pretty-good first wallop tho.
That's because she has the hunter's instinct to recognize she was the dominant one in the situation.
That’s just another Tuesday night at the toy store.
This made my night
Confident hardcore woman 🦸🏻
It's on Tiktok though. I hate the fact that Tiktok is permeating to many facets of internet life.
No, but I knew about ten seconds in that it was.
Yeah, I'm normally not one to go "oh this is fake!" because that can be hard to prove, but this one just screams fake to me.
A guy threatening with a knife would go around the side of the counter to be close, not standing in front of it.
No it’s perfectly real. A small woman with a dildo always has the upper hand on a man with a knife.
well an element of surprise of having balls that accommodates such a large dick move can sure turn the table.
Even just the camera angle screamed fake
Some would say the most staged
Not sure but after watching it that's what I found
It looks fake af.
Latest Merchandising Concept: Rub one out against any surface in the store, because everything's lubed. Like a supermarket produce section scheduled misting spray, only with Astroglide.
What is the point of faking something like this? Sometimes I feel like we’re living in some weird version of a post apocalypse. A wasteland where we spend our time doing dumb shit for no reason at all, all while the world as we know it is literally dying.
Puff puff pass
Little Grand theft Auto action. I'm sure everybody remembers the hidden double dong in the cop shop. What was that a freshly mopped floor?
No I don’t remember the purple dong in the Dillimore police station in Red County, San Andreas and I’d appreciate it if you stopped with the assumptions.
Mop is by the door
fake as fuck
Plot twist: He's into that shit.
This cannot be real
"Let me tell you about Hatchet Harry. Once there was this geezer called Smithy Robinson, who worked for Harry. It was rumoured that he was on the take. Harry's invited Smithy round for explanation. Smithy didn't do a very good job. Within a minute, Harry's lost his rag. Reached out for the nearest thing at hand which happened to be a 15-inch black rubber cock. He's then proceeded to batter poor Smithy to death with it. Now, that was seen as a pleasant way to go, hence, Hatchet Harry is the man you pay if you owe."
Glad I wasn't the only one who had this come to mind.
Imagine this wasn’t staged
Butt to butt
He is homophobic. He got afraid of the d\*\*k slaps.
Dicked down in a sex shop
Breaking the penal code.
What a dick
The Dildo Incident
How to rob a shop:
Step 1: go to a shop
Step 2: take out your knife
Step 3:... Cashier smacks you with a dildo.
Step 4: you realise what kind of shop you tried to rob
Step 5: you can't defend yourself, because her weapon is covered in oil
Step 6: run for the wellbeing of your arse
July 2021 the "Dildo" incident.
(I am so sorry)
That weapon offers +100 penetration stat boost.
Got major cock (blocked)
"I'm gonna fuck you up"
They went saints row on their ass
What is that thing she whacks him with
[Something like this](https://www.extremerestraints.com/17-5-inch-realistic-double-dong.html)
Great!! Now I’m going to have floppy dongs in my Ad Feed….. 🤣
"Now", yeah it's great to have an excuse!
Reminds me of GTA San Andreas.
Is…is that HER personal toy? And why is it on hand/within arms reach? She reached for it quick! Now I’m wondering how many other robbers she’s fought off with that thing.
Scripted Asian GIFs or something like that
Looks more like some kind of Russian cosplay to me…
He messed up. Brought a knife to a dildo fight
She beat him off
So that’s how his thumb got hit by a hammer...
"How fake do you want this to look ?"
This guy brought a knife to a Dildo fight
Only in Eastern Europe…
Why does it look like they’re walking like there’s lube all over the floor
Got dick slapped
Why floor so slippery?
Thats how powerful women would be if they had dicks
Fuck! I guess size do matter!
Whhaaaat.. this looks so fake to me. He had a knife. Why was he afraid of a rubber cock?
Nsfw? Shes very safe at work
They were went saints row on their ass
I hate to ruin a good joke, but this guy is actually getting off. His thing is to pretend to rob u then get beat with a used dildo. It’s actually the number one selling dominatrix Themes, and they even named the dildo Olaf. Btw they are slipping on .... well nvm u know now I think 💦
A dick being dicked by dick.
I’ll give you the money, but don’t fucking touch my boyfriend
Man's runnin from a small girl with a floppy dildo, that's sad, really sad.
Why is the floor so slippery?? 🤔😂
Oh, your not scared? Once I knock you unconscious, I'm tying you up with the bondage gear and shoving this traffic cone up your ass!
Multi purpose dildo
Es la mera ver… o saques a la ver…
That guy really took a dicking.
Thought this might have been a Matt and Kim video.
Lo agarraron a vergazos, literal.
Smh, what a dick! I guess he got what he deserved.😂
How slippery are those floo...n/m
So many different ways to use a cong dong , not surprised defense was one of them
doesn’t lock the door*
I bet that hurt. I had friend bought anal beads for another friend as a gag gift. We hit the wall with them and they left indentations in the wall. Another time we bough a dildo for a different friend in the same situation. They're clothes dryer was broken, so we put it in a panel in the back of the machine with the hopes that a repair man would find it.
Damon Wayans / Homie da Clown should have beat people with a big rubber dildo. Seems more than appropriate and way funnier!
The long dong of the law
Is the floor convered in lube or something?
Is the floor slippery because of all the spooge?
So, what, nobody in Russia watches Guy Ritchie movies?
Is the floor made out of ice?
The floor seems unusually....slippery
That's my fetish.
the dildo master strikes again!
ah that’s what that’s for 💁♀️
You could say it turned from a robbery...
Into a rubbery...
I am sorry.
Your your in complete shock, grab a cock
That hand switch was pretty slick.
"That's not a knife." -- Mick 'Crocodile' Dundee
Geez Were those floors cleaned with butter?? 🤔
In heels too, respect.
It looks like she's moving in slow motion.
I'm not saying it's ok to rob a sex toy store but if I did I would use protection.
He wasn't familiar with the local penile codes.
She beat his ass with a rented dick!
This is what I come to reddit for.
She beat off that would-be thief really quickly.
Maybe getting hit with that thing is just his kink?
She ain’t dickin around.
But he said no hommo, right?
In all seriousness, why the hell would you rob this kind of shop? You either gonna be smacked with a fat one, or something large will unexpectedly entre your body. It's a lose/lose situation.