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Chuybits

“Ding Dong motherfucker”


love2go

"Let me tell you about Hatchet Harry. Once there was this geezer called Smithy Robinson, who worked for Harry. It was rumoured that he was on the take. Harry's invited Smithy round for explanation. Smithy didn't do a very good job. Within a minute, Harry's lost his rag. Reached out for the nearest thing at hand which happened to be a 15-inch black rubber \*\*\*\*. He's then proceeded to batter poor Smithy to death with it. Now, that was seen as a pleasant way to go, hence, Hatchet Harry is the man you pay if you owe." Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels


Demmetros

You beat me to it, you limey bastard. Take my up vote and get wrecked


ShakeWeightMyDick

[The scene.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PftOxn4ANjc)


pip-pipington

Damn beat me to it. Noice


TirbFurgusen

Oi! Keep your fingers out of my soup!


Cauhs

Direct by M. Night Shyamalama Dingdong.


bingybunny

Who is the man? I'd like to shake his hand!


masahawk

>“Dong Dong motherfucker” FTFY


Dillo64

DONG DONG NEVER DIE ROUND 1 FIGHT


mycatiskai

>>“Swing Dong motherfucker” > >FTFY


masahawk

Lmfao


mangames

🤣


Bob_Kerman_SPAAAACE

To anyone that says the pic for this person is bad it’s not a nazi swastika and it’s not racist


mangames

My respect to you for identifying it correctly.🙏


Bob_Kerman_SPAAAACE

Ur welcome I think it was religious or something don’t remember


jake106

Used by Buddhists and Hindus. It's an ancient symbol and you see them all over the place in Korea.


Bob_Kerman_SPAAAACE

thanks


kbl_207

Used religiously in Mongolia too. They had it way before the Nazis.


KingBooRadley

When I see them in Asia I think, “it’s hard for me to get past that but I know it has different meaning in the Far East. When I see them in the west, or online, I am not so generous with my understanding. Too high a chance to be misunderstood to be using that here.


bloepz

Then please never go [here](https://www.atlasobscura.com/places/elephant-gate) and other places like it as they exist all over the west.


mangames

It's an ancient Sanskrit word called Swastika which means 'Well-Bieng'. This Swastik sign is symbol for divinity and spirituality used widely in Hinduism, Buddhism and Jainism. People of these religions draw Swastika on their entrance door, wall and idol worshiping place. It also stands for good luck. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swastika


KathyJaneway

Just make sure you don't draw this symbol in Germany, cause of you know what, cause all of those symbols are illegal under German law even in video games, which is ridiculous lol.


FelatiaFantastique

Hindu, Buddhist and Jain use is exempt. Use in art is exempt. Usage in social media is generally exempt (actual promotion of Naziism is not; the symbol alone could be cultural, historical, critical or satirical; it's accompanying propaganda that can be criminal). The blanket ban in video games was imposed by an industry body, German Entertainment Software Self Regulation Body, not the government. It was lifted in 2018. Regardless, it's hardly ridiculous. Germans have proven that they have difficulty controlling their sociopathic, homicidal impulses, and some people, believe it or not, don't want want to be reminded of the horrific extermination of their parents, siblings, entire family and peoples while in the grocery store or playing Mario. Most human beings do not associate the Nazi swastika with amusement.


KathyJaneway

>Most human beings do not associate the Nazi swastika with amusement. And where did you find me being amused about a Nazi swastika? Me ridiculing the idea of going that far to ban something from history, a symbol that was stolen by a radical political entity from a religion, yeha I find such things ridiculous as in stupid not amusing.


BarnacleMcBarndoor

Rookie mistake. You never bring a knife to a cock fight.


yourmomoverygay

that's a dick move


pomo

I thought it was pretty ballsy.


plumbthumbs

taint that the truth.


Abugitt

He WOOD think twice after this incident.


PheIix

Yeah, he wouldn't wanna cock it up again


englishlad1986

Penis


Darylium

I hope he gets a good shafting when the police catch up with him.


TheNukedWhale

Nyet


plumbthumbs

or else you'll end up in a pretty hairy situation.


pip7346

Upvoted to make this 420.


nibblicious

Must've been trying to come in the backdoor without asking first.


OldDimondbackSurgeon

In other news that dildo is now circumcised


EpicTimeReversal

Why the fuck. Is that floor so wet. Am I imagining this, or are they slipping all over the place?!


matthack86

Better slippery than sticky in a sex shop.


plur44

It's just a matter of time


rbleskey

Keep in mind it is a sex toy shop. Cardi B did say bring a bucket and a mop


pineapple_nip_nops

Macaroni in a pot?


Arkitakama

That's some wet asspussy


[deleted]

P-word


Awkward-Date6551

Perry the platypus?


Arkitakama

Your arrival is unexpected... And by that I mean COMPLETELY EXPECTED


another_cursed_user

This woman has a severe problem


vickvinegar_

Wet aoli?


Arkitakama

If your aioli is dry, there's a problem.


pineapple_nip_nops

That dildo sure looks like it can touch that dingly ding that’s in the back of the throat


MindlessPush

I think you mean appendix lol


Bob_Kerman_SPAAAACE

Uvula


pineapple_nip_nops

I know. It’s part of the song 🤣


twotimefind

I'm guessing freshly mopped?


CR0SBO

*Activate the lube-slick!*


SnakeGod8447

Wellll…… lube !


excaliber110

I heard it's actually a deterrent in a mall setting. Keep the floor slick and people can't run from you.


liquidthex

If the slick floors are at just the right angle with the stores at the bottom then consumers will be stuck, and forced to shop for the rest of their lives. Might be a little less subtle than most marketing techniques, though.


thetreece

Because it's after hours and they've mopped the floor, and now they have time to stage this video.


sometimesBold

It’s covered with lube.


Invelious

That’s a dildo, yeah? Like a donkey dick dildo?


Scratch5591

Think a double ended one for double the fun


jramos037

Ass to ass


jyoti_6727

Dust to dust


Sir_Svenson

Fade to black...


PewPewPatches

Hey, you. You’re finally awake.


aceofspades9963

Fade to brown?


bridoogle

Might leave in a body bag but never in cuffs


Scratch5591

I legit just saw that scene in my head when I read that


midwstchnk

Shit you got some eagle eyes


The_GreenMachine

for bass to mouth!


Bigfops

Oh you sweet, summer child., Whatever you do, don't google "Bad Dragon Chance." Just don't do it.


MrSpecialEd

Use duck duck go instead!


GreatBigTittyLover

Police: Can you describe the robber? Girl: Yes. He has dick shaped bruises.


Starionn

Girl: Yes, at least 5 different sizes. All offer roughly the same levels of protection, with some important differences. The blue ones taste like a Bomb Pop, for example, while the clear ones are flavorless. This one here provides a numbing effect, which some especially tactically sensitive individuals appreciate. The purple ones on the left here are more oriented *for her pleasure*, as the expression goes. Slight rubbing on the outside, with numbing on the inside only. Slows him down and speeds her up, if you take my meaning. Police: Ma'am, I asked about the *robber.* Girl: Oh, my bad. Here's the security video.


nbowman93

Honestly he could probably get mailed for free with that Mushroom Stamp


sir-goldie

Remember switching to your dildo is faster then reloading


throwaway8u3sH0

LOL underrated comment!


OorPancake

Wasn't this found to have been staged?


taxi212001

She turns her back on him before the door closes, doesn't lock the door after she gets him outside, doesn't look back once to make sure he didn't coming back in


SleightOfHand87

And both the robber and clerk just seemed way too casual when running. I get the floor is slippery, but how he ran away and how she chased him, it seemed like they were trying to cause as little damage to the store as possible


querty99

She did give him a pretty-good first wallop tho.


StylotuS

That's because she has the hunter's instinct to recognize she was the dominant one in the situation.


atmastorm

That’s just another Tuesday night at the toy store.


TheLifeOfYbloc

This made my night


paalped

Confident hardcore woman 🦸🏻


Breaker-of-circles

It's on Tiktok though. I hate the fact that Tiktok is permeating to many facets of internet life.


TheClincher7

No, but I knew about ten seconds in that it was.


manga_fanatic

Yeah, I'm normally not one to go "oh this is fake!" because that can be hard to prove, but this one just screams fake to me.


LongLiveTheCrown

A guy threatening with a knife would go around the side of the counter to be close, not standing in front of it.


limitlessEXP

No it’s perfectly real. A small woman with a dildo always has the upper hand on a man with a knife.


neboskrebnut

well an element of surprise of having balls that accommodates such a large dick move can sure turn the table.


powabiatch

Even just the camera angle screamed fake


TMoney86ss

Some would say the most staged


ohhellothere301

100%


Metalliquotes

Not sure but after watching it that's what I found


LordOfTheStrings8

It looks fake af.


Letibleu

Lubed floor


Vroom_Broom

Latest Merchandising Concept: Rub one out against any surface in the store, because everything's lubed. Like a supermarket produce section scheduled misting spray, only with Astroglide.


fkenned1

What is the point of faking something like this? Sometimes I feel like we’re living in some weird version of a post apocalypse. A wasteland where we spend our time doing dumb shit for no reason at all, all while the world as we know it is literally dying.


Alt_dimension_visitr

Puff puff pass


twotimefind

Little Grand theft Auto action. I'm sure everybody remembers the hidden double dong in the cop shop. What was that a freshly mopped floor?


Chuybits

No I don’t remember the purple dong in the Dillimore police station in Red County, San Andreas and I’d appreciate it if you stopped with the assumptions.


MadderHatter32

Mop is by the door


KrespeKreme

Staged


gowgot

Fake


Malbek604

fake as fuck


Darryl_444

Plot twist: He's into that shit.


onfroiGamer

This cannot be real


BalthusChrist

"Let me tell you about Hatchet Harry. Once there was this geezer called Smithy Robinson, who worked for Harry. It was rumoured that he was on the take. Harry's invited Smithy round for explanation. Smithy didn't do a very good job. Within a minute, Harry's lost his rag. Reached out for the nearest thing at hand which happened to be a 15-inch black rubber cock. He's then proceeded to batter poor Smithy to death with it. Now, that was seen as a pleasant way to go, hence, Hatchet Harry is the man you pay if you owe."


mkul316

Glad I wasn't the only one who had this come to mind.


who-ee-ta

Imagine this wasn’t staged


onliwenimtrunk

Butt to butt


HalfPast_n8

He is homophobic. He got afraid of the d\*\*k slaps.


DrJigen

Dicked down in a sex shop


Phoneking13

WOBBLY SAUSAGE! https://youtube.com/shorts/1nxbYUqfcks?feature=share


SharkeyShyster

Breaking the penal code.


AcumenNation

What a dick


AkaPika

The Dildo Incident


digit_origin

How to rob a shop: Step 1: go to a shop Step 2: take out your knife Step 3:... Cashier smacks you with a dildo. Step 4: you realise what kind of shop you tried to rob Step 5: you can't defend yourself, because her weapon is covered in oil Step 6: run for the wellbeing of your arse July 2021 the "Dildo" incident. (I am so sorry)


getsuga_tenshu

That weapon offers +100 penetration stat boost.


iCeReal

Got major cock (blocked)


Washpedantic

"I'm gonna fuck you up"


sundea69

They went saints row on their ass


Luvmm2

What is that thing she whacks him with


CR0SBO

[Something like this](https://www.extremerestraints.com/17-5-inch-realistic-double-dong.html)


youdog99

Great!! Now I’m going to have floppy dongs in my Ad Feed….. 🤣


CR0SBO

"Now", yeah it's great to have an excuse!


DiscoPotato93

Reminds me of GTA San Andreas.


yeah_yeah_therabbit

Is…is that HER personal toy? And why is it on hand/within arms reach? She reached for it quick! Now I’m wondering how many other robbers she’s fought off with that thing.


KingOPM

Scripted Asian GIFs or something like that


shephazard

Looks more like some kind of Russian cosplay to me…


Jbruce63

Cock blocked


Ghostloadzz

He messed up. Brought a knife to a dildo fight


C4shFlo

So fake...


pigsinaquilt

She beat him off


bgallagher

So that’s how his thumb got hit by a hammer...


Careless_Reception74

"How fake do you want this to look ?" "Yes"


davealx

This guy brought a knife to a Dildo fight


Eddieb543

Only in Eastern Europe…


randomguy4927

Why does it look like they’re walking like there’s lube all over the floor


DonTorreZ

Got dick slapped


Status_Peace_2245

Why floor so slippery?


Ameerjb1

Dildo ? Thats how powerful women would be if they had dicks


waza8i78

Fuck! I guess size do matter!


afoodie92

Whhaaaat.. this looks so fake to me. He had a knife. Why was he afraid of a rubber cock?


luke-townsend-1999

Nsfw? Shes very safe at work


sundea69

They were went saints row on their ass


15thDimension

I hate to ruin a good joke, but this guy is actually getting off. His thing is to pretend to rob u then get beat with a used dildo. It’s actually the number one selling dominatrix Themes, and they even named the dildo Olaf. Btw they are slipping on .... well nvm u know now I think 💦


chosen1creator

A dick being dicked by dick.


TATERBONE

I’ll give you the money, but don’t fucking touch my boyfriend


CoD_bOy_YeEt

Man's runnin from a small girl with a floppy dildo, that's sad, really sad.


AliasAnnon

Why is the floor so slippery?? 🤔😂


iambluest

Oh, your not scared? Once I knock you unconscious, I'm tying you up with the bondage gear and shoving this traffic cone up your ass!


CoffeeAddict1011

Multi purpose dildo


mrw70

Es la mera ver… o saques a la ver…


behappydammit

That guy really took a dicking.


horheezusbobeezus

Thought this might have been a Matt and Kim video.


ANVVIM

Lo agarraron a vergazos, literal.


trini_aristocrat

Smh, what a dick! I guess he got what he deserved.😂


osiris775

How slippery are those floo...n/m


tucker_sitties

Poor Smithy


SnakeGod8447

So many different ways to use a cong dong , not surprised defense was one of them


rxphxl05

doesn’t lock the door*


flawedlawspod

I bet that hurt. I had friend bought anal beads for another friend as a gag gift. We hit the wall with them and they left indentations in the wall. Another time we bough a dildo for a different friend in the same situation. They're clothes dryer was broken, so we put it in a panel in the back of the machine with the hopes that a repair man would find it.


littlemesix7

Damon Wayans / Homie da Clown should have beat people with a big rubber dildo. Seems more than appropriate and way funnier!


Delfi900

Sexual harassment


Jhinoside

The long dong of the law


fellowsquare

Is the floor convered in lube or something?


SoberSkeptic

Is the floor slippery because of all the spooge?


Kriegerian

So, what, nobody in Russia watches Guy Ritchie movies?


Suckydog

Is the floor made out of ice?


jobhand

The floor seems unusually....slippery


SequesterMe

That's my fetish.


yourmomoverygay

the dildo master strikes again!


OutsideCandidate3

Blyat!


luxfatale

ah that’s what that’s for 💁‍♀️


Pooska29

You could say it turned from a robbery... Into a rubbery... .... I am sorry.


workieman

Your your in complete shock, grab a cock


sirtalen

That hand switch was pretty slick.


syncmaster1100p

"That's not a knife." -- Mick 'Crocodile' Dundee


Muchablat

Geez Were those floors cleaned with butter?? 🤔


Everettrivers

In heels too, respect.


Beefcurtains18

It looks like she's moving in slow motion.


ShellsBe11s

I'm not saying it's ok to rob a sex toy store but if I did I would use protection.


noclue_whatsoever

He wasn't familiar with the local penile codes.


_Piratical_

She beat his ass with a rented dick! This is what I come to reddit for.


Tristin78

She beat off that would-be thief really quickly.


codemancode

Maybe getting hit with that thing is just his kink?


bThatFloridaGuyt

Отлично!!! Лол


VladPatton

She ain’t dickin around.


eddiebadeddie

But he said no hommo, right?


digit_origin

In all seriousness, why the hell would you rob this kind of shop? You either gonna be smacked with a fat one, or something large will unexpectedly entre your body. It's a lose/lose situation.