T O P

  • By -

Flair_Helper

Hey /u/IAMBIGGDADD, thanks for contributing to /r/tifu. Unfortunately, your post was removed as it violates our rules: **Rule 3** - Sorry, but this isn't your fault. Submissions here must be your fault. No victim blaming. No TIFU by getting robbed/​scammed/​mugged/​raped. Those are not your fault. Just because something bad happened to you doesn't mean it's your fault. Please read the [sidebar](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/about/sidebar) and [rules](http://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/about/rules) before posting again. If you have questions or concerns, please [message the moderators through modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/tifu&subject=&message=). Thank you!


libateperto

Hello, anesthesiologist here. Although we are generally not present at vasectomies, urogenital anesthesia requires some basic knowledge about the innervation of the the region. The scrotum (the sack itself) ha pretty straightforward nerves and is easy to numb, the testes (the balls) however get nerves from the lower thoracal spinal segments (T10). This is because ot their fascinating embriological origin, and while I think this is in some way beautiful, most vasectomy patients don't share this kind of enthusiasm about their own anatomy, because that also means that perfect local anesthesia is hard to achieve. While a miracle of surgical instruments, electrocauterisation is also a tricky thing in local or sometimes even regional anesthesia, because electric currents cause pain in various mechanism and some of these escape trough anesthesia easier than others. (Sorry for my English) Edit: for everyone preparing for their own vasectomies -- please don't be scared! it's still a common and very safe procedure and most people don't feel much, and on the rare occasion when they do, it's transient and it's worth it.


TraceofDawn

Nothing warms my heart more than hearing someone excitedly explain something, even if it isn't something I share a passion for, maybe even moreso. Thank you for sharing your explanation and thank you for what you do! Also, your English was fine, even with a few typos. I could understand what you were saying just fine.


forte_bass

I completely agree! Watching people get excited about things they are passionate for is wonderful. I also enjoy watching people who are very skilled/talented at something perform in their area of expertise, such as woodcrafters, athletes, musicians or even more obscure things like very talented yoyo spinners and Pen twirlers.


TraceofDawn

I absolutely adore my one CIS professor because of this. He talks about computers the way I do- full of joy, excitement, and fascination. I swear, if every teacher loved their subject like this one does, the world would be so much brighter


SyntheticCorundum

lol I'm trans and I was shocked for a second you only had one cis professor


ShySingingnewbie

I'm not trans, but I did read it like that for a second too haha.


Depressionbomb

Mood


Greasy_Nuggz

Right? Never seen somebody so passionate about shocking nuts. But hey, it's actually pretty neat


caitejane310

"Fascinating embroilogical" and "miracle of surgical tools" made me smile because you can tell they're passionate.


HeatherReadsReddit

That’s very interesting! And your English is perfect.


keanenottheband

Almost every time someone says sorry for my English on reddit, I had no idea there was an issue to begin with.


AdvancedPhoenix

My english is pretty bad and i never say "sorry for my english"


keanenottheband

Good, rule one on the internet is to never apologize, not like this is a job interview


skimtbca

I work with a lot of folks where English is their second language… and they often think their English is bad. Not only to I find them better than a lot of ‘native speakers’; but as a manager, always try to find ways to boost their confidence (do a short presentation to customers, etc). Always be motivating and moving it forward. Building language confidence is important! Besides I always get them to teach me things that I can say in their language. Anyways, sorry OP you got zapped. I felt that on your behalf. And the anesthesiologist’s explanation was excellent as well.


HugoBarine

Thank you for explaining this. I was wondering why I got shooting pains through my abdomen during and after my vasectomy. Also, mid procedure the power went out and all the lights died in the room while he had just finished one side, so that was also suboptimal.


PSUSkier

>suboptimal That’s a mild way to put it.


HugoBarine

The 55 year old nurse did complement me on how well I shaved my balls, so it wasn't all bad


starmartyr11

>(Sorry for my English) You must be kidding


Korzag

\> Sorry for my English \> has perfect English


Bipolar_Bear89

Don’t leave a brother hanging on that fascinating embriological origin story! As an owner of testicles my self, I’d be interested in the background of my junk.


kipperzdog

Saving this comment so when I get a vasectomy I can say "hey doc, mark sure you numb the T10."


EarthwrmJim

Wow. That sucks man, sorry about your balls. I had a vasectomy a few years ago and it was relatively painless, recovery was pretty quick too. When the doctor was doing mine though, everything was going fine, I was laying back looking at the ceiling, he was doing his thing, when he got to the cauterizing part I just saw a puff of smoke and the doctor said "that's just the smell of your burning balls" and I had to try really hard not to laugh too hard because he had some pretty sensitive parts in his hands.


[deleted]

This. I remember the smell quite vividly, and it was over ten years ago.


HowdyLemonLime

When I commented on the smell, the doctor simply replied "Ball-B-Que".


flatwoundsounds

My brother and I had plantars warts cut out and cauterized when I was a kid, and boy was that ever a special kind of stink... I learned that day that my older brother, while bigger and stronger, was a good bit more squeamish than I am, and did not appreciate my color commentary while his was being done.


overide

Man I’m not sorry I missed out on that. Back in the early 90’s I had some frozen off. I think they used liquid nitrogen.


Videogamerkm

I had a cluster frozen off with nitrogen around 2010-ish. Think I freaked the doctor/nurse out cause I couldn't stop myself from laughing hysterically and they ended up not quite freezing it right. Turned into a blood filled blister the size of my toe.


flatwoundsounds

This would have been late 90s I think, maybe early 00s. Local numbing, slice it out, then electrocauterize. Kinda barbaric thinking back on it, and they ultimately came back anyway.


gwaydms

Plantar warts sound like a nightmare.


flatwoundsounds

I honestly don't remember them being painful or distracting, only that they were this stubborn thing that had months of scraping and medicating and wouldn't go away. Apparently some of them can show up on a pressure point on the foot and be quite uncomfortable. I forget how long my mother and brother had them even after the procedure to cut and burn them but I was the type of kid who couldn't resist picking scabs and stuff and eventually picked at mine so much that it went away.


bigby2010

When I had mine done the doc said, “What do you have when you have Kermit the Frog by his balls?” His attention.


geodebug

I laughed so hard the cat jumped off my lap. My vasectomy was uneventful and painless but I do remember the sensation of the electricity and small puff of smoke.


DroppedD94

Oh my Fucking god that got me. Holy shit I'm glad I don't need one of these procedures for another little while, but Christ that comment made me laugh.


rumade

Wonder how it compares with the laser eye surgery burning smell? Anyone here had both?


digicow

Actually, I had both done within a year of each other. But I don't recall any burning smell with the LASIK, and I couldn't smell the vasectomy one thanks to my COVID-required breathing mask


Scrotal_abrasion

I had a related experience. The Dr. numbed me, made the incision, and pulled the vas out. All was fine - no pain or pulling sensation. *snip!* I screamed. He said "you felt that?" I said "fuck yeah I felt that!!" That pain went all the way up into my stomach and kidneys, man. It felt like someone had stretched my nut out until it snapped like a rubber band. He numbed me up some more and the rest was uneventful.


ImmortalMemeLord

Bruh I felt that description in my own nuts


gucumatzquetzal

I felt that in *my* own nuts and I'm a woman, yikes.


Sinvanor

I don't have nuts and I felt that.


Chief_HeavyHand

Got my vasectomy 7 years ago. 4 kids was more than enough. The doc for the day was a stand in for the actual doc who was on vacation. He finished the snips and the nurse asked him if he was going to stitch up the wound. He said he uses the "Chinese Method" and incisions were so small that they wouldn't need it. A few days later I am at the doctors to check out my goods. The incisions sites had been having some bloody discharge and I decided to stick a big square bandage over it. Ended up giving myself some kind of chemical burn from the bandage. Doc takes one look at my sack and says "Where's the stitches!?" "Other Doc said he was using the "Chinese Method" and didn't need any. Doc: "That mother fucker!" Had some other issues, calcified sperm created a small, hard ball at the end of one of my tubes. Thought it was testicular cancer. Scared the shit out of me. Getting an ultra sound of my balls, where just the sack is sticking out of the blue covers they put on you was fun. Beat off at day 1.5. Baby juice came out with the thickness and consistency of Styrofoam. Again, scared the shit out of me. All in all, best thing I've ever done. Anxiety free sex is amazing. Everything works better than before. 10/10 would do it again.


KWBC24

Yeah. The ‘Chinese Method’ is something I’d like to hear while taking in, learning and enjoying a rich, full, Asian culture. The ‘Chinese Method’ is not what I want to hear on the OR table with holes in my scrotum.


Bottyboi69

I don’t think I wanna hear anything other than “call an ambulance” if I have a hole in my scrotum


Alexanderdaw

As a kid my best friend jumped on top of a concrete ornament in the swimming pool, bursting his ballsack open. He said he could see his testicles the hole was so big just before passing out from the pain.


punksmostlydead

I've never been a single-issue voter, but if ever in the future a candidate runs on the platform of making the use of the words "bursting" and "ballsack" in the same sentence illegal, I'll vote for them twice. And possibly assassinate their opponents. Edit: I don't know whether to be pleased or appalled that this got a wholesome award. Can I be both?


DuskyDay

It would've taken no effort not to write that...


According-Owl83

And costs $0.00 to remove! r/eyebleach


Aidanation5

Honestly I'd be fine with hearing "Jesus christ thats a big cock" if I have a hole in my scrotum, as long as I'm not gonna damage anything.


davidshutter

Oh god no... I don't want anyone else getting theirs out while I'm getting operated on....


Alphamage314

Underrated, self-deprecating comment.


fowlee42

I'd prefer "I have successfully repaired your scrotum"


CoffeePieAndHobbits

"Hey, you're finally awake!"


lalakingmalibog

You were trying to cross the border, right?


ASithLordWannabe

Ah yes, the " it'll fix itself" method


pm-me-your-doggy-pls

I had a ball scan in the UK. I didn't have a sheet to cover me, they gave me a piece of paper towel to hold my dick out of the way 🤣


Karrion8

>Beat off at day 1.5 Not supposed to do that. Should wait at least 3 days.


Wheatloafer

Honestly, I waited until 5 and that still felt too soon. Just hold off as long as you're able, your body will appreciate it.


Gret323

I think I held off a few days but that first time afterwards...I came so much blood that I thought I'd never jerk off again


PowerfulVictory

*He waited two hours*


ScottieRobots

Oh god


chocopie18

Calcified Sperm. That’s my band name.


ianreckons

PLEASE WELCOME TO THE STAAAAGE..... “CALCIFIED SPERRRRRMMM”!! Yep. That works.


Condemned_alienated

https://i.imgur.com/SxWlOtV.jpg


Parkotron1

"WE ARE CALCIFIED SPERM, AND WE'RE HERE TO BLOW! YOU! AWAY!!!"


gibbonshire

Only if it's a Pearl Jam cover band.


idwthis

Jeremy spunked in class todaaaayyyyyy...


[deleted]

I had a vasectomy done a couple of years back. The doc told me it would be pretty uncomfortable and asked whether I wanted to be numbed down there. I said of course! Whereupon he leaned down and put his face on the area in question and went "numnumnum".


Firenze42

I disturbed by this in so many ways.


TheREALGuardMan912

Um


skinnah

Username does not check out.


dbsgirl

Put his face ON the area? Like nuzzled his cheek up to your sack?


BentGadget

That's how num-nums are given.


joos1986

> The doc for the day was a stand in for the actual doc who was on vacation. OK. This would be plenty anxiety fuel under normal circumstances BUT FOR MY *BALLS*?!? I'd be losing pubes over it I don't know what I would've done. I love my balls, but insurance is a tricksy little shit. ​ > Doc: "That mother fucker!" I was laughing, wincing, and feeling bad for you at the same time. You should **definitely** post this as separate story. With the standard TIFU embellishment treatment, this could be Gold Jerry! GOLD!


MantraOfTheMoron

You beat off 1.5 days after your procedure?! I had mine two fridays aho, and im honestly a little terrified to use it.


SedYeet

sounds painful


_pinkpajamas_

*Ew, David*


Ascendise

What is the chinese method?


frentzelman

If you say your wound wasnt treated properly, you get tossed in a reeducation camp until you say so


awkward_irishman

I much prefer the American method. The procedure is a success and your wound is properly treated , however covering the cost sends you into complete financial ruin.


GostavinMlkChave

And then you will be a homeless, at least with no more kids


Zardif

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/No_scalpel_vasectomy


Parmenion87

Yeah I imagine more anaesthetic would make a vas deferens in your comfort levels during the procedure! Edit: huh first ever award. Cheers.


TheChuck76

I had a similar nightmarish situation same beggining right side went ok,but came left the doc did the cutting and then he said:ummh ...I think I lost the tube...I can't find it...then his assistant,who was another doctor came in and satrted searching inside the nut sack,and couldn't find it either,the took more than ten minutes and the sedative was wearing off so pain came in and they found the tube did the electro thingy and off you go,the clinic was near my home so I thought,a walk back might have been a good choice but under pain was a whole different story the longest ten blocks I've walked in my life


CircleBackMurray

You are crazy, brother. My doctor was like you're going to need to take the week off. Rest. Put your feet up. I told him I was going back to work the next day because I have an extremely sedentary job. I already told my boss what's going on and I'm not getting up except to do specific tasks. The doc did not approve. The nurse jumped in to tell me that was stupid and the last guy that did that came into the office before being shipped off to the ER with testicles the size of oranges. All because he moved around too much. I image they would have lost their collective minds hearing plans to walk home. I was pretty well planted in my chair at work or couch at home for 3 days. I wasn't too bad after that. Just felt bloated and like I was on the verge of coming back from being kicked in the nuts every minute of the day for about 4 to 5 more days.


TheChuck76

Yup,I had the same feeling "being kicked in the nuts every minute of day" I fully recovered after a week or so but the walking part was pretty much what really messed up with me


MrHobbes14

When my ex-husband got his, we were still married and had 2 kids. I planned a full weekend for me and the kids to get us out of the house so he could relax. First day I come home and he's mowing the lawn. 2nd day he's out in his shed cleaning up all the spare engine parts he has. Crazy his recovery took a few extra Dr visits, antibiotics and about 4weeks of pain. He isn't the brightest with recovery.


Annual_Promotion

I got a vasectomy 16 glorious years ago after our 2nd kid. No real excitement except that the nurse dry shaved my balls with the cheapest razor ever made.. But that's beside the point. I didn't have much discomfort but I followed the doctor's recommendation to do absolutely nothing for a few days even if I felt fine (which I did). My best friend however decided that he felt good enough to go to Disney World after his vasectomy. He got his vasectomy on a Thursday and was at Disney on Sunday. He was fine the whole time he was at the park but that evening he goes to the hotel room and his balls swelled up to the size of a grapefruit. He couldn't wear pants or underwear for 2 days and could barely walk. We still make fun of him for that to this day.


gucumatzquetzal

My ex was planning on RIDING HIS MOTORCYCLE back after his.


ladylei

My husband's doctor said he could drive home, but I made sure to drive him. That way he could focus on making himself comfortable. Figured that he deserved whatever he wanted since he was doing this for us and so I wouldn't have to undergo another surgery. Man's a saint.


TheChuck76

Bless your husband,My wife was with me the whole time I just figured the walk back wouldn't be an issue didn't count on being so hurt after the procedure,but I would do it again if it means saving my family from further trouble,you see,I've read that women have more side effects when they undergo the same surgery(you get my point)so I don't regret anything


the_heff

TIFU by reading this the week before my own vasectomy Edited to add - thanks for the reassurance guys. I appreciate it


SiirMissalot

Good Luck! Hope you wont need it


Annual_Promotion

All I can say is FOLLOW THE DOCTOR'S ORDERS! Take it easy no matter how good you feel post-surgery. Take it easy for a few days and you'll be fine. Bags of frozen peas are your friend. Put them on your junk, prop your feet up on the recliner, play some video games or watch some TV or whatever, and don't do anything for a few days except go to the kitchen and to the bathroom. Don't go mow the lawn, even if you have a riding mower, don't crank one off, or anything like that either. Just take. it. easy. You will think that's not necessary, you feel great, you feel fine, just a tiny bit of pain in the scrote and that's it... I followed those simple rules and was 100% great in a few days. I went easy for about a week then was mostly back to normal with a slight nagging pain just occasionally and it was VERY mild. My buddy decided to go to disney world like 3 days after his vasectomy because he's a 'tough guy' and walked around all day in the heat and his balls swelled up to the size of a grapefruit and he couldn't wear pants for a few days or walk.


HeroesOfDundee

Mine went flawlessly, hopefully yours will too!


BroadwayNerd

Mine did not go flawlessly and it was still 100% worth it. Best money I've ever spent. You'll also note that all the horror stories here end with the same. Best of luck!


RedBeardTheLeal

Mine is Thursday. Good luck brother


Orbax

I had to go in for round two, first didn't work. First was great, talked about football. Second one was going fine but maybe he was like "ok, this is the last chance, time to get serious". He said if two didn't work doctors don't try anymore so I feel like this was the staple gun and blowtorch round. Were chatting away and he did.... Something... And it was the most sickening feeling of like getting stabbed in a nut or something, I've kick flipped a skateboard into my nuts and this was on a different fucking level of nauseating wrongness. He had to call in the nurse because my blood pressure just bottomed out to unsafe levels and I barely stayed conscious from whatever the fuck that was. Life is so much better id do it again but god bless America that was fucked. Im sure it's rare, the first time was fine so don't let this story dissuade you.


lucky_ducker

>my blood pressure just bottomed out to unsafe levels and I barely stayed conscious Not a doctor but that sounds like vasovagal syncope. Happened to me once in the dentist's chair, turns out I'm sensitive to lidocaine enhanced with epinephrine.


RiverPondlife

Happens to me whenever I get bloods done, I've managed to stay conscious the last few times thankfully!


lucky_ducker

Yeah, I can't watch whenever I have blood drawn. And I warn the person drawing it.


NerdLevel18

I had an unrelated blood test the week before I was supposed to donate blood for the first time. I almost passed out after 2 vials, and my blood pressure was super low. Sufficed to say I cancelled the donation, since I barely have enough blood for myself.


RiverPondlife

Probably for the best. A few tricks I learned, drink like a horse for the 24 hrs before your test. It plumps up your veins, makes them easier to find and less painful going in. Eat regularly in the days coming up,little and often. While you're getting it done,make sure you're lying down with your legs elevated, your nurse should be more than happy to accommodate this because it makes her job easier if you don't faint. Also While youre getting it done, I found clenching my muscles and releasing them seriously helped, whether it's a placebo or other, it worked. Edited to add: in layman's terms, your brain thinks something traumatic is happening to your body and starts to shut you down to conserve blood and normal functions.


Uberduck333

Michael Scott “ snip, snap! snip, snap! snip snap! You have no idea the physical toll...”


aryamansingh

vasectomies should just numb you from trunk to skunk


TheGreatKahleeb

My ears are tingling! Did someone say vasectomy?


PupNeph

I had a complication from my vasectomy that lead to a severe scrotal hematoma and required two surgeries and a month on a wound vac attached to my scrotum to fix.


Warningwaffle

That must have sucked. Great fun explaining that setup when you have to go out.


PupNeph

I wore nothing but robes and kilts for a while. Made the hose attached to my nuts easier to walk around with. It worked though. I’m 100% sterile.


Sleipnirs

> and kilts How many times did people tell you they didn't know you were scottish?


Sozins_Comment

Don’t you mean scrottish?


stewieatb

> wound vac > "That must have sucked" 😡


imisstaylorswift

For some reason I always thought that you went fully under for this. (I’ve never had much reason to think about it, though, to be fair.) Huh. The more you know.


IAMBIGGDADD

Nah, outpatient procedure, local anesthesia. I drove home.


imisstaylorswift

Reminds me of when I got my wisdom teeth taken out. (I’d hope that there’s less blood, though.)


PAXICHEN

They gave me something nice for my wisdom teeth back in 10th grade. I told the assisting female nurse she looked like George Thorogood. She had big teeth.


lalakingmalibog

Big teethy nurse gf, huh


wolfxorix

No, never ever say this again.


GenitalFurbies

I went under for mine, though I was 26 so that might've made a difference


singing_softly

I went under for mine too and I was 16 at the time. The numbing meds just don't really work on me and after maxing me out and me still being in pain, they had to knock me out.


RegularOwlBear

I got mine out around the same age, but they just put me under immediately for it. I did wake up halfway through though, and that was a terrifying memory when I later thought back on it.


Noidis

30's here, had mine out last week. Most painful thing I've ever done for 3 days and now it's like nothing happened except I can't chew on one side of my mouth yet. Maybe age really is a big deal?


[deleted]

I thought you were talking about a vasectomy still and I got so confused about the chewing thing


mces97

Lol. Me too! ,🥴


emilin_rose

Me three!


wolfxorix

Didn't you know? Us men can eat with our balls. We keep it a secret so women don't get jealous.


Aidanation5

Just wait till you hear what women can do with their asses.


HurriedLlama

I wish I'd been under when I got mine out. The sound/feeling of them doing whatever it was that made so much noise was extremely unpleasant. I tried to focus on my breathing and kinda meditate through it but I couldn't focus because of the drugs


observitron

I did mine awake with no pain killers. The first six hours sucked. I was good after tho.


Mattabeedeez

No Valium? They gave me a script for a single pill and told me to take it on the way in. Didn’t drive myself. First time taking Valium. We were cracking jokes the whole time.


no_usernames_avail

Drove myself there and back. They didn't even wheel me out of the hospital. I got lost trying to find my car and hobbled around for 30mins.


thugarth

They gave me the shot and said I could have another if it wasn't numb enough. Almost immediately, I asked for the second shot. It still wasn't enough. I didn't get the shock feeling, but it felt like my balls were in a vice the entire time. 10/10, no concern for more pregnancy, I fully endorse it.


snarxalot

Only local? My husband was given something to "relax" him as well... He was hilariously high when I drove him home.


skiingredneck

If the patient is too tense, things pull and try to hide...


WilliamBsGirl

As was mine. 10mg Valium right in the vein. He came strutting out walking like nothing had happened. When it wore off though....😂


Isadorei

My SO got a Xanax to take an hour before. He had to have someone take him to and from because of it.


Socalwarrior485

My balls ached like I got punched the next day


Ncc1017

Ditto. Best thing I’ve ever done.


Alexander-Wright

I was driven home, but it was uneventful. Top tip: Your balls will need good support for a week or two after the procedure!


tombstonexx

The doc that performed my ex husbands prescribed him a Xanax to take before and told him to drink a beer in the parking lot before coming inside.


NorthernLights05

…According to him


lorgskyegon

General anesthesia is far more dangerous and requires the services of an anesthesiologist, one of the most expensive types of doctor. It's among the reasons that vasectomies are among the cheaper medical prodecures.


Teripid

I know a guy. $50. Which job you ask? Either one actually. He also validates parking and he'll detail your car for an extra $50.


la_winky

When my ex husband got his, the urologist urged me to stand ring side and watch, chatting away the whole time. He did staples on the plumbing, not stitches. It’s a pretty close look at a partner. It sort of felt like a fair trade. He watched me give birth. ;/


BurkeyTurger

It was an option when I had it done. It likely varies by office.


RainesLastCigarette

They didn't let me drive home, gave me 10mg of Ativan to take an hour before the procedure. I'm an anxious bastard but I was sitting there casually talking about skiing and family with this doctor while smoke was coming up from my balls, odd experience. Best choice of my life. I took a few days off work, I worked in a kitchen and was DEFINITELY sore for the week trying to keep up with my usual workload.


bettershine

Had the snip the same week as a dentist's appointment. Was a lot more worried for the downstairs stuff, but the dentist's was worse. Took a bit longer to recover from the snip though.


Socki3

I opted to go fully under, I couldn’t face being awake


IamRick_Deckard

It's a clinic procedure.


snarxalot

My husband had this done and there was an issue finding one of the tubes so it took longer and that set of stitches was right under his peen, which meant he kept getting poked. And then I went to fill his pain meds and LOST THE PRESCRIPTION! He didn't want to bother with getting another prescription and just toughed it out. Said it wasn't that bad. The good news? No more kids and spontaneous sex (I.e. when we can get the kids to sleep in time lol) Total respect for you guys who do this so your wives/partners don't have to undergo major surgery. Big props.


Visitor_X

I managed to get a guy who was still in training (they asked if that's ok) and he cut the right side open too far up and couldn't fish out enough of the vas deferens to cut and cauterize it. After 45 minutes of pushing and prodding he finally called the head doc who came in, looked at it and finished it in 5 minutes. After receiving some instructions he then did the left side in a few minutes. Fortunately I was not feeling much at the time as I had good meds, but after I got home and started to feel again... I was hurting. A lot. My nuts were bruised and swelled up to twice the size. But I still recommend it if you're really really sure that you don't want kids.


cyricmccallen

Sorry. But they have to learn somehow. Thanks for letting a newbie try. Just know that they do actually know what they are doing, it’s just difficult translating knowledge into handiwork, especially when working on the human body. That’s why they are supervised, and generally know when to ask for help.


Visitor_X

Absolutely. If no one would let them try, they'd never learn.


spunky3932

Man that sucks. I had a full on convo with the doc and nurse the entire time, no pain or discomfort. Only pain was the 4th day after (which I hear is normal for the 3rd/4th day to be the worst), oxy all day, but great afterwards.


wotmate

Just remember, you need to put 40 shots through the barrel and get it tested before you can be sure that your gun is firing blanks. So get the missus to help you out.


HoofStrikesAgain

After my second son was born, I decided a vasectomy was in order. But, being the prudent person I am, I decided to google "vasectomy complications." So, anyway, my third son is turning 17 in a few weeks....


peachgrill

I had this happen when I went for a LEEP (laser on my cervix). Holy fuck did it ever hurt. It took me a few minutes to calm back down after they re numbed me , and I have a hard time relaxing before my gyno exams now. It was probably one of the worst feelings ever. She said the vial of numbing agent was defective, and it’s not uncommon.


[deleted]

I used to assist in surgery and gynecologic procedures are fucking midevil and there’s some weird belief that the cervix cannot feel anything so women don’t need pain relief. Like maybe it can’t feel everything but when I got my iud inserted and they had to measure the length of my uterus I about hit the roof. That shit hurt.


peacefulmeek

The placenta broke during after birth and the scrapping was like giving birth again. They did it 3 times. No epidural. Why do I still want another kid?


SpicyPineapp1e

Had a biopsy done with no anesthetic or pain medication, 1/10 would not recommend. Almost threw up during it, they actually said no when I asked for something for the pain, and when I asked them to stop the procedure for a few minutes because I was so nauseous from the pain.


JneedsaBRA

I’ve done 3 with no meds. The second one I asked for Valium and the nurse told me the doctor usually doesn’t do that because most women don’t need it. I’d already done one biopsy where they clamped my cervix, so I knew exactly what was about to happen and I wanted Valium. I did not get Valium.


Soulfox1988

Well thanks for the wonderful anxiety, I'm getting mine done soon.


HeatherReadsReddit

Read the stories here of the procedures that went well. Most do go well. Just make sure to follow doctor’s orders regarding recovery.


Satchya1

My husband’s was fine, no complications. 👍🏻 Remind yourself these are just people sharing their rare bad stories.


Bunsed

I love hearing other people's experience with vasectomies. Everyone has some unique experience, most make mine pale in comparison: 1 year ago, 1 set of twins is enough: Doctor was late, so was chatting with a nice female nurse whilst my balls were out as I was already on the operating table. Dude comes in, mask and gloves on, suddenly starts fondling my balls looking for my vas deferens. Alright, slightly uncomfortable, but okay. He starts doing his thing, and then we get to the first incision: I felt that throughout my entire body. Doctor replied "It's a small incision, don't sweat it. It'll be over soon.", I start sweating anyway because adrenaline surges throughout my body in droves. Then he numbed the vas deferens and proceeded to *yank* the thing out of there with such incredible force I almost felt my insides come with it, let alone the feeling of being kicked in the balls with the same force. The rest of the procedure went smoothly, even setting in the stitches. The other testicle was the exact same story, and the doctor even waited a whole minute longer for the initial anaesthetic to set in. I was really glad my wife drove me to the clinic, because even with the anaesthesia numbing the pain for hours to come I was unable to walk properly after the double-yanking giving me the feeling of having been kicked in the balls twice, which I felt an entire week. ​ My brother had the same experience, but without *any* of the anaesthetics setting in. He felt the incision, the actual snippy-snips, the cauterization, and the setting of the stitches. Twice.


Picci999

Something must have been going on with the machine they were using. Sounds like it may not have been grounded properly.


alkakfnxcpoem

Those machines beep every time they're used. If it wasn't grounded it would beep continuously and not allow a shock to be delivered.


IAMBIGGDADD

They had already used it twice on the right side, and there was a grounding thing (sorry I don't know the proper name) stuck to my leg.


Picci999

Yikes, that sucks dude. Definitely be sure to submit your two samples to make sure they did the job.


IAMBIGGDADD

Yeah, a friend had it done and then had a kid, then did a second and had another. They are both his, but holy crap I don't want to be in that situation. I'll make sure to submit samples.


PAXICHEN

At least they didn’t use YOUR grounding rod…


ithasanidea8597

My husband experienced the same exact thing.


Van_Pleb

I got an electric shock too, turns out the nurse didn't dry the area enough and the current in the cutty tool thingy just shocked my nutsack 🤢


Bieza

I had some spinal taps during my chemo treatment and one time I had some assistant nurses accompany/ask to view the procedure. I told them Sure, it was my second one and I didn't cry last time so why not. The doc performing the procedure sticks the needle through my lower left back and into my spinal cord. It's a slower process than you think, as they x ray your spine to see where the needle is, pausing every so often as they continue tracking the needle. I lost control of my left arm and leg at one point, which immediately began flailing to my side for 3 seconds or so like I was shaking them as hard as I possibly could and nearly kicking the doc behind me."I then say, I uh, felt something happen there. He replys:" yea there are some nerves around that area." immediately I look at the two nurses, both a couple years younger than me probably around 20 years old, who immediately tell me and the doc they are leaving. One looks me in the eyes and whispers "you are so brave." as I'm laying there helpless dripping my spinal fluid into a syringe. I didn't reply, but just layed my head facedown on the chair. Fuck.


TheReaperSovereign

Just wanted to share that my vasectomy went flawlessly, was over and done with in 30 minutes - felt nothing and was completely fine in 48 hours. Just to calm all the guys freaking out right now reading this


Sirerdrick64

Shit did I need to read this!


DesertVeteran_PA-C

I used to set guys up for vasectomies when I was doing primary care. Number one most reported side effect of a vasectomy is getting laid A LOT more often. Sex becomes purely recreational, and with a monogamous disease free couple, there are no worries about pregnancy or STI’s. Had mine 28 years ago, zero regrets.


Vladtheimpailer72

He the same side effect as you, man. Zero regrets. And the procedure it’s self was easy. Most pain i felt was when the nurse clipped the band to my stomach missing my shirt when she was moving my gear out of the way.


PLP1124

Try an IUD insertion...no meds, no numbing...it’s a bitch


flaflashr

OMG, I had this done 13 years ago. Fortunately, everything went smoothly. Be prepared for a few days of intense discomfort. Keep your freezer stocked with bags of frozen peas


iankost

You try getting a vasectomy in a small country, here I am (in NZ), balls out, getting prepped by a nice nurse who has just shaved me (in the cold room). Dr does the normal chat about 'are you sure about this, what family do you have' I tell them about my 4 kids, 2 step, 2 blood... Followed by a bit more about my life... The nurse pipes up 'is your mother in law xxx'. It was. She knows them. She says at the end 'give xxx my regards if you want to, obviously I won't say anything to her about this if you don't!'. Super awkward! But a funny story once I got over the initial shock, hahaha!


ILackACleverPun

I thought this was going to end up like the day my dad got a vasectomy and came home. And me, being very excited her dad was home jumped into his lap. With my knees into his groin.


Clean-Letter-5053

Okay so I’m a female, but now I’m super curious about something.... what happens to all the back-logged sperm, stuck behind the cauterized parts? Like, since the tubes are blocked, the little sperm guys have no where to go. But your balls are still making sperm and your body would attempt to eject the sperm any times that you cum. Does that mean the sperm just build up and build up and build up, in your balls, like a traffic jam in your balls? Wouldn’t that be uncomfortable, and wouldn’t that lead to risk of infection? (From the build up of decaying dead sperm.) Maybe I’m over-thinking this. But...I’m curious.


unluckid21

It gets reabsorbed into the body


d3gu

Regular sperm is made up of stuff from different places. When a guy comes, the seminal fluid is released and mixes with the sperm (from the testicles). Like mixing a tonic with vodka. When you have a vasectomy, the tube that sends the 'neat sperm' is tied off, but the guy still orgasms and releases the fluid, except it's no vodka and just the tonic lol. The sperm itself gets reabsorbed into the body and causes no harm. The testicles are important for a man's health (testosterone) so they need to stay attached and healthy, they've just been blocked off.


admiral_pelican

The only surprising thing about this comment thread is how many Redditors get laid enough to need a vasectomy


Form84

Adrenalin is a helluva drug. When I had my vasectomy, the chair they put me in didn't have handles or anything to grip. So when the electro shock came in and i could feel it, I just put my hands behind my head and did like....crunches, but not really. Like, imagine pulling on the back of your head, but not doing a crunch, that's what i did, REAL HARD for 20 minutes. ​ Long story short, I bruised my sternum so badly I couldn't lift myself out of a chair for 2 weeks. Vasectomy was fine, balls stopped hurting after a day. My fucking chest felt like Mama june did a piledriver from the cage tho.


Herky_T_Hawk

Important comment to make. Nobody that has things go well ever complains. So you only hear the rare horror stories. A vast majority of vasectomies go well. Don’t be afraid of getting one. I encourage it for everyone that is done having kids. Don’t have an oops baby because you were too scared of the chance of a little short term pain.


Calad0o

I had a vasectomy because i didn't want kids, but they're still around.


micro012

a sigh of relief when the fuck up isn't kid #4.


Gozo_au

Sorry to hear yours went so bad. Mine wasn’t a bad experience and I had surgical glue, no stitches. However the time in the procedure was interesting. One of the nurses had a vasectomy playlist going including: Another one bites the dust Great balls of fire Come (or in her mind cum) on Eileen And love shack. Ended up walking wonky for the week as I kept getting those hard sperm ball lumps too.


no1ukn0w

SAME THING HAPPENED TO ME. My legs kicked all the instruments off the tray to the other side of the room. Doc calmly looked at me and said “whoops, that’s not supposed to happen”. If you’re like me you’re going to have months of random ghost pain where you feel the same sensation, guess it’s the mind telling you not to do that again. 10/10 would do it again for the freedom.


SwervingLemon

Got mine under local at 22. GF at the time was fascinated by the way the skin was crawling and flexing after. The next day, scrotum was the size of a grapefruit, had been bleeding into it internally. Called the doc and he just told me to put on the tightest briefs I could stand. It worked. Over the next two days everything got better. GF insisted that I needed to come on her and we both laughed when it was mostly fresh blood. It was a weird relationship. Only that first time. Every time after was exactly as you'd expect, except without the anxiety of unintended pregnancy.


Lrdoflamancha

You get told go straight home.... well I didn’t listen... My nuts were fine so I went out of my way to go buy a CB radio.... big mistake, after the numb wears off, every single bounce on the freeway became more and more painful. I end up with my jock strap around my shoulders to keep my nuts from bouncing.


Oxissistic

I mean, zapping your balls is just an extra assurance that the baby making will stop. Enjoy the neutered life.


Sharkytrs

fucking OW. when I had mine it was basic, slight smell of bacon and away I went, I even got biscuits! Not the best trade off in the world but it was something!


BEARBLASTIN

I got a vasectomy too, 0 kids was enough for me


aiydee

My vasectomy. My wife used to be a dental nurse for a dental surgeon. So she was used to seeing gore and the like. Doctor do the snip for me said that as long as I was ok, my wife could watch the procedure. I'm a needlephobe. And now.. I'm getting a running commentary of what is going on in my nutsack. "What's that?" "What about that?" "That looks interesting?" It's also when I found out I had a cyst on my testicle and things like that. HE he took the time to explain it to her and point things out. All whilst my nuts are doing the equivalent of 'hang out of the sack'. I'm nearly passing out. Not from pain but from the amount of information overload I am getting about a testicles and any tubes and anything else. It finally got to me saying "Can you just finish and close things up or just stop talking?" And apparently *I* was in the doghouse after that.


DexterDubs

I work on power lines. Gotten bit a couple times. Could not imagine that on my nuts